My best friends are mormons,but there are things that are coming up that seem to pull us apart.?

Question

My wife and I have been best friends with this LDS couple for the past 3 years. We normaly hang out about 3 times a week. things have went pretty well because my wife and I have done our best to be sensitive to their beliefs. ex. When we go out we refrain from ordering liqure, we dont' swear around them, and we don't invite them to watch R-rated movies. My wife and I are pretty strong christians so its not like it is difficult to not curse, were not alcholhics so its not difficult for us to pass up a drink. We do refrain from R rated movies, even though they don't bother us.
Last night we rented Rush Hour 3 (PG-13), there are some parts where girls have some skimpy outfits and there was a part where they were making out on a bed. I happen to look over at them and they were closing their eyes.

Am I offending them?How do I tell them this is getting out of hand? We're all adults you would think we would be mature enough to handle a little skin (there was no nudity) and some kissing?

I have attended their church and find no reason why this would offend them. They have also attended mine (Lutheran) and didn't seem to be offended by that either.

I'm just worried that if that offended them I wonder what else we do offends them. I don't think its a problem I just feel bad if they trust me to pick out a movie and i pick one that offends them.

So I guess its best if I just let it blow by and not say anything. However, if it gets to the point where they avoid the crosses I have in my house then maybe we will have a conversation. Thank you to those who answered seriously.

Answer 1

My best friend is a mormon, At one time we seemed to be having the same problems. He would not watch R-Rated movies. However, he didn't have a problem drinking caffinated drinks and he would sometimes swear. I just didn't get it. I just went along with it until I couldn't take it anymore. We were just talking about good movies and I mentioned saving privot ryan was up there on my list of really good movies. He said he'd never seen it. I was like really, you love war based movies. He said he'd heard of it. I was like ok I have it at home lets watch it. We just popped the dvd in and he says nope I can't watch it its Rated R. I was like really? (i honestly didn't know) He's like yep can't watch it. I just went off. I said it doesn't have any nudity and has less cursing then 90% of the PG-13 movies you think are so great. There is not reason why this movie should offend you more than any other movie that we have seen. I asked him, do you think I am a good person? (I'm christian and refrain for watching porn and other garbage of the sort) He said yes. I asked him if he would trust me as his best friend for 8 years, I told him I wouldn't ask you to watch this if I thought it would offend you. He said ok. We watched it, he never closed his eyes. He thought it was great and even asked me why it was rated R. I said probably the violence. He said that violence is real life stuff. I said yeah. exactly so why are you letting a letter dictate what you watch, why don't you just use your judment. Since then we have watched numerous Rated R movies (tastefull movies) with no problem. He has also lighten up in other areas as well. He has even had a beer with me. Neither one of us feel like he is corrupted or is going to hell and our friendship has never been stronger.

sorry for the length but i hope it was helpfull

Answer 2

By the way Rush hour 3 had full frontal nudity in it, you just have to know were to look. Its hard to find, but its there, I am not dissing you, I am just informing you, email me if you are curious, no one knows about it and I do.
Mormons have a hard time with sexual topics. I can't go into detail or the mormon natzi's will get me, so once again email me. Some of the PG-13's are getting bad to, unforetunately. I am ex-mormon and never saw the michael meyers movies or the freedy crugars movies and our ward was ultra modest for those who had garments and those who did not. You may just have to go to a christian website that reveiws movies that are PG-13 and ask them if anything in the movie is going to offend them, and if so, ask them if fast forwarding over the part will be OK, or just getting another movie will be fine.

Answer 3

I think you're reading a lot more into this than really exists.

They went to a movie, and then choose not to watch some parts of it that they didn't want in their brains. Their choice. Garranteed they were uncomfortable as well. Next time they'll probably do their homework better and make sure they don't want to see what's in the movie. ....Or they'll just close their eyes again.

Don't let it upset you. It sounds like they're good friends. It would be stupid to throw away a good friendship because they closed their eyes in one part of a movie.

I'm sure they enjoy your friendship and doubt that you have offended them. You seem to be aware of their beliefs.

You can always have an open discussion about it. Most of us are more than willing to discuss our beliefs with others. Generally, we're worried about pushing our beliefs on our friends and we tend to not bring it up.

Answer 4

I don't see how them closing their eyes is a big deal - I close my eyes all the time when I think something is going to be scary or gory - and often times they end up not being that scary, but I wouldn't know because my eyes were closed :)

Sometimes I close my eyes when things are getting a little saucy too because I think the movie will take it farther than it actually does - again I don't know that it doesn't because my eyes were closed :)

The point is, I still liked those movies I close my eyes in - I'm just a little bit wimpy when it comes to that stuff. If they're a bit wimpy to some skin - who cares? If they're not saying anything about the film being inn appropriate, then it's really not a big deal for them to close their eyes every now and again.

It's good for you to be sensitive to their beliefs, but try not to be too sensitive and read to far into things.

best wishes

Answer 5

What is interesting about this is that when you constantly avoid seeing and hearing nudity,sex, vulgar language you become more sensitized to it.

And no mormons are not as pure as you think. The church has a huge and I mean HUGE porn addiction problem among the males. I'm sure i will get some disguntled mormon "thumbs downs" for saying this but the fact remains it is quite true.

You should ask the husband when the last time he viewed porn was. Allot of them do.

Answer 6

I doubt they were offended - they just chose not to watch that portion of the movie. It was a personal decision they've made. What exactly is 'getting out of hand'? the fact that they've chosen not to watch skimpily dressed people makeout on a bed? They didn't close their eyes to make you uncomfortable - I bet they'd be horrified to realize that was the effect. As you've been such good friends for so many years - talk to them about it and figure a way to continue your friendship in a way you're all happy with. That way you're all acting like mature adults.

Answer 7

No, you're not offending them, its the content of the movie that they find offensive. It is their right to close their eyes if they anticipate seeing something that might disturb them so don't get don't get your panties all up in a bunch over trivial things. Why did you look at them at that moment unless you on some level thought it might offend them?! Just cuz you think its ok to drink, curse, watch flicks w/questionable content doesn't mean everyone else thinks its ok; ever heard the term religious tolerance?! I drink, smoke, curse and watch R and X rated movies but I wouldn't get offended if a friend of mine cringed or closed their eyes cuz they think it might corrupt them if they looked; its their right to do that.


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Sweetie

Answer 8

You didn't offend them. The unnecessary bedroom scene did. Not only LDS people are offended by these type of things...... Them closing their eyes didn't hurt anyone, and allowed them to sit through the rest of the movie.... They obviously like you or they wouldn't be there with you...

Be understanding of them..... if you can't ..... then don't hang out with them... They are guided by the rules of conduct taught at their church.

Maybe attend their church a few times and see where their beliefs come from to help you to understand....

Answer 9

Even if it had nothing to do with religion they have the Right tot their own beliefs regarding what they want to see....or not see. Maybe suggest that they bring a movie? Sit down with them and tell them that you mean them no disrespect, you love them as your friends and see where that goes. They still come over to visit and spend time with you which means they respect the differences. If they close their eyes to a scene in a movie its fine, just tell them when the part they find offensive is over. Remember, they have to have as much respect for your life as you do for theirs to truly be friends but they are not going to change their beliefs. Let them close their eyes.

Answer 10

I think if it were a real problem, they would have said something. Some people just close their eyes at offensive parts and watch the rest.

I wouldn't worry unless they say someting. Unless you want to ask them. That might be a good idea. That way, there's no surprises, no questions on this.