I need a decent mother-in-law joke Please tell me one?

Question

The one that makes me fall of my chair will get the points

Answer 1

Sunil, an indian man, moved away from home to make something of his life. Some time later his mum came to visit him for a few days. On the first night at the dinner table, the mum, could not help but notice the chemistry between Sunil and his room mate Shanti. When she asked Sunil about it later in the evening, he simply replied, "No mum, dont be silly, theres nothing going on between Shanti and me."

Two weeks later, Shanti comes to Sunil, and says "Sunil, I cant find that silver chutney jar, that my mother gave me, I think your mum might have taken it."

Sunil thought, and didnt no how to ask his mum on the phone, so he sent her an email, which read as follows:

Dear mum, You might have done this, or you might not have have done this, but the fact of the matter is that Shantis silver chutney jar has been missing ever since you left here.

The next day Sunil received a reply from his mum:

Dear Son, you might be sleeping with Shanti, or you might not be sleeping with Shanti. But the fact of the matter is if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found her chutney jar.

Moral of the story...never mess with an Indian mum,

Answer 2

When you rearrange the words in 'Mother-in-law', you get: 'Woman Hitler'!

Q) What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A) Outlaws are wanted

Here's a funny one:
There was a most unusual funeral procession taking place.
A hearse carrying a body was followed by a man with a dog on a leash, and a line of nearly 50 people followed at a distance of a few meters.
This aroused the curiosity of a man walking by and he couldn't help but ask, "This is a rather unusual funeral. What happened?"
The man with the dog said, "I was eating breakfast today when my mother-in-law paid a surprise visit to us this morning. Upon seeing her, the dog immediately tore her apart. Her body is in the hearse. My wife wanted the dog to be put down and asked me do it after the funeral."
The curious passer-by said ,"I'm very sorry. But can I borrow the dog?"
The man with the dog said, "Get in the line."

Answer 3

When the kids were small I used to keep a picture of the mother in law on the mantle over the fire.

It was more effective than a fireguard for keeping the kids away from the fire.

Answer 4

My mother-in-law smokes that much, instead of a period every month she has a fall of soot

my mother-in-law is so fat when she wants sex she has to have a piss so father-in-law can follow the flow up like a trout

my mother-in-law is so fat when she wants oral sex she has to fart to give father-in-law a clue where her f*nny is

Answer 5

Definition of mixed emotions (my favorite mother-in-law joke):

The definition of mixed emotions is best typified by picturing your mother-in-law going over a cliff ... in your brand new Mercedes.

Answer 6

i just need a decent mother-in-law.sent mine on a cruise trouble was the the navy wanted their missile back..

Answer 7

whats the difference between my mother-in-law and rottweiller?
my mother-in-law wears lipstick

Answer 8

No jokes she will think your crazy just be yourself that way she can like you for you not for your jokes.

Answer 9

http://www.amusingquotes.com/h/d/Les_Dawson_1.htm

is a few =)

Les Dawson was well known for em.