We went over to my sisters house for the night last night for a little festive get together. She has 3 daughters aged 12, 10 and 8. I have an adopted son who just turned 4 and came to live with us in June this year.
I have detected a bit of a problem with the girls attitude towards him from the get-go but last night it was very obvious, they kept making jibes towards my son, not letting him sit on the couch with them - and then when he sat on the beanbag, one of them pulled it out from beneath him... stuff like this.
They called him a baby when we ate dinner because he had a bib on and then again called him a baby later when it was his bedtime and wouldn't let him see the presents under the tree.
My sister seems to turn a blind eye and I don't feel its my place to reprimand her kids, all I can do is make sure my son is OK. I could tell he was confused and feeling bad. He is a sweet and smiley sociable kid and just wanted to play with his cousins. WHat can I do? Anything?
2007-12-22 21:29:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
eleablue - he has only just turned 4 and doe s not have good eating skills due to his past circumstances. he had the bib because he had nice clothes on and the food was messy (spag bol).
2007-12-23 00:01:27 · update #1
Well, I think its something you should dicuss with your sister. Her daughters definately should not do that to him. The youngest being four years older. They should all know better them to treat him that way. I would suggest sitting down with her and talking to her and telling her what you say and what happened etc. Your right its not your place to reprimand her kids however it is your place to talk to her. Parents do not like to know when there kids have done something wrong and they will sometimes turn just ignore it and pretend like it did not happen. If you talk to her then she might talk to her kids about it and next time you go over to her house her kids will be much better behaved hopefully and not treat him as they did this time. I myself would make my kids apologize etc.
2007-12-22 21:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by Caitlin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, your nieces will treat your son the way they are expected to treat your son.
The problem is not with them, but rather with your sister's attitude toward the whole adoption. If this was a joyous occasion in her family's life, as it was in yours, then her and her children would be the loving, caring relatives that they should be.
Unfortunately, there appears to be animosity in the situation and the girls amplify the situation that their mother 'turns a blind eye' to.
2007-12-23 01:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to reprimand her children, but you can nicely address the problem and defend your son. What they're doing is not right and yes, someone needs to say something! Explain firmlyn, but gently that your son has a right to sit down where he pleases without being bothered or have the bean bag pulled out from underneath him. If not, you're also teaching your son that their behavior is acceptable.
2007-12-22 22:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
MAybe your niece's feel they are lacking attention from you or they are feeling abit of jealousy now that you have a son. I do think you need to talk to your sister about there attitude toward your son and maybe she can sit down with her daughters and talk to them. Or you can talk to your nieces and explain to them your son is little and he doesnt need to be called names, and pulling thing from underneath him can hurt him.Or you can even take one niece out at a time with you and your son and maybe that way they will start like him more? Good luck
2007-12-23 01:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by nikki s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any child would feel bad when treated so stupidly by other children. You better talk to your sister, explain to her if she's in your situation she would feel the same way. She can tell her kids to be nice and treat the little boy as their brother or cousin, in that way, the boy will feel better and comfortable, most of all, feel he is accepted in the family.
2007-12-22 21:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by jmjm 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
of course you can reprimand her kids you're their uncle
and if they are being mean to your son you have every right to tell them off especially if your sister won't do a thing
i think you should talk to her about her kids as well and perhaps you can all talk about why they don't like your son
hope this helps Jovi :)
2007-12-22 21:35:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, first... I'd tell my sister about it and give her a small amount of time to correct it before I did.
What is those kids' problem? If I was their parent, I would put an end to their bratty ways real quick.
2007-12-22 22:08:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I reckon you should discuss it with your sister so she can tell you nieces/ her daughters about it, it seems like it's just the girls who have the problem not your little bundle of joy :)
Good luck, Merry Christmas :)
2007-12-22 21:33:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth did you put a bib on a 4 year old? You set him to be teased. He isnt a baby. But as for the cousins I agree that you need to talk to your sister about it.
2007-12-22 23:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
got show your son to not take any crap from them and maybe is that they dont like him because they dont get any love from you like you do to your son its maybe that i dont know maybe
2007-12-22 21:40:01 · answer #10 · answered by Phillip N 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋