Ok, I fell in love with a 25 year old guy. We have been together now for over a year. My parents are divorced. He met my dads side of the family and they all love him. Now its time for me to tell my mother. We are really in love. He has been nothing but great to me. I have never been so into school and my grades have never been this great. Everything has been better in my life. I get along with my parents better and im just happy. Any advice on telling my mom? Im very scared to tell her. Btw im under 18. Let me know what you think. Thanks
Additional Details
The reason i have not told my mom yet is because i live with her. My father found out on his own but was fine with it after he met him. He also moved across the country to be with me. I have been lucky enough to get away with it for this long. There has been some close calls but she still does not know. I am going to tell her today. Just need some advice on what to say
2007-12-22 10:58:27 · 11 answers · asked by Mary A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
For all you people who were supportive thank you. For the people who said it is not legal, there is no law for being together. There is a law about having sex. We are not having sex and he is fine with that. And as for Moe K if your nephew spells as bad as you i think ill pass. I told my mom last night and she was fine with it. He is going to come over and meet her today.
2007-12-23 07:24:41 · update #1
It's hard to say without knowing your mom, but she will probably be very surprised and may say some things that she might not necessarily mean, so be prepared for that. Also, she might feel betrayed because this was not revealed to her for so long. Expect that she might be unhappy (to say the least) and try to understand her point of view.
That being said, you just need to tell her, "Mom, I need to talk to you about something very important to me," make sure you have her full attention, and go for it. Just remember what I said about how she may react. Don't add fuel to the fire by getting mad at her or engaging in a shouting match, or saying things that YOU don't mean. Just stay calm and collected. It may take her days or weeks to get used to the situation, or who knows, she might just be okay with it.
Good luck to you. I sincerely hope this is the right situation for you.
2007-12-22 11:09:18 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you have to be careful because if you are UNDER 18 which means (in many states) your boyfriend could be convicted and/or jailed on underage sex convictions (I dont know the legal term) if you have had sex.
As far as telling your mom..... WHEW... that is a big one because your mom is going to be upset that ONE the guy you are dating is MUCH older and TWO that your dad knows and she doesnt know and THREE that your dad didnt tell her... those THREE things could be a bear to deal with so, I am not sure anything I say can help smooth that out. I do know however that if this relationship is as REAL as you say it is, then you need to bring out all the POSITIVE things about your relationship to your mom. What does this guy do for a living, is he established financially, does he have children of his own, does he have a plan for the future, does he support you finishing school and going to college... etc etc etc. These are important things to a parent becuase they want to know that their child is being taken care of both in the present and the future.
Just be honest but also be prepared for your moms reaction because it may or may not be what you expected.
Good luck!
2007-12-22 19:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by onecoloredfish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well tell her what you feel about him , how you changed when you met him and you became happy. I you became responsable nd if you show her that probably sh'll accept the fact
Now is there a reason that make you think your mother will be upset if she learns. I'm not a mother, but I think that will upset me is learning that my kids are having sex. I think they should waiton that. why do you think your mother will be upset, then see how you convince her that everything will be alright
2007-12-22 19:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by A simple thing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest. Be mature. Your Mom needs to see that you're mature enough to handle this type of relationship. You're not showing much maturity right now. Let your Mom know that this is not some fling. You guys have a year behind you already. Point out his good qualities to her and let her know that it would be nice to have her blessing.
2007-12-22 19:04:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like this guy is perfect, and the only problem is his age. Your whole family seems to love him. Set up a date for him to come over and meet your mom, and then tell your mom. She might be upset, but you'll already have the date set up for him to come over, and she won't be able to refuse, and then she'll meet him and love him.
2007-12-22 19:03:31 · answer #5 · answered by SoundofSettling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Umm maby ask ur mom if she would mind if u dated an older man and see how she reacts and if she says she wouldent mind then tell her the truth anyway good luck
2007-12-22 19:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by Jason M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your too young to know what love is and your too young to be dating someone that age... its rape! Your mom has a right to know since your under 18.. Are you sitll in HS?
Its just wrong..point blank !
2007-12-22 19:04:47 · answer #7 · answered by me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are goina you are goina its to late to be mad about it now. Tell her and get it over with. Advise you to get married before this goes any further.
2007-12-22 19:04:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mariene and a connection to the police it is rape you are underage. and he will be put into jail i can hook you up with my nephew he is 17 hoped i helped. o ya love makes a person blind.
2007-12-22 19:03:02 · answer #9 · answered by Moe K 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
he is 25 and your under 18?
This is illegal.
2007-12-22 19:08:43 · answer #10 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋