No ones loves me...where do I turn to for help?

Question

I feel like I'm dying inside....literally no one loves me. At work I'm too needy, I always need someone to compliment a job well done. I'm doing ok in school, but that's after a struggle. Everyone in my family suffers from clinical depression, so they're never there for me. I'm 24 years old, I never had any money or love growing up, and it's hard trying to make ends meet now. Well at least I'm trying, by going to school to try and better myself.

I'm desperate for real love. I don't want to go to a therapist, cuz I want REAL love. What can I do to make myself feel better when I'm at home?? I'm distracted because I keep thinking of other people who have loved ones and are so lucky because of this. Should I go on anti depressants? I used to drink and it took my mind off things, but that's destructive.

Answer 1

Hi I know you feel really alone and like no one cares about you, but there are many out there who do. Look to the people who are writing to you they care enough to answer your question. I used to work with a guy who was so desparate for love and he was always looking. One day we talked most of our shift and I told him that he needed to chill out and stop looking. That when he least expected it, it would happen. That he needed to get on with his life and find some interests and that one day before he knew what hit him he would find someone to love and someone who would love him. About three months later, it happened. Just like I said when he least expected it. That was at least 15 years ago and they are happily married. So stop feeling so desparate, as it shows when you are out in public. Look in the mirror every day and smile at yourself, tell yourself you are worth a great deal and that you have many good attibutes and say what those are. Sooner or later you will begin to believe it and then you will feel differently about yourself. When you do that you will begin to send a different message to those around you. Smile more and reach out to people without wanting anything in return and you will be surprised at the responses. Talk with your doctor about antidepressants. Stay off the booze and take one day at a time. Good Luck and keep us posted as to how well you are doing. A big hug for you.

Answer 2

Hi, u seem really depressed...
However I think there's not much to worry about that...

I may sound ridiculous.. but just read these few facts please..

1.You are not the only person having this feeling at this moment..

2.When the right time comes, you'll be loved..

3.I have always had all those feelings and what I do is to think I am better than some who suffer of pain, starvation and so many crimes daily...

I try in some way to help those people.. not necessarily money..

A presence, a smile and a few words is worth millions in certain situation..

Forget that You feel you are not loved...

Just remember you have the power to love...

Your lives can be used so meaningfully, somehow with those pains, you have experiences that no other person have..

Feel happy with yourself...

Make a few changes in your environment...
Adopt a pet... Be more nature friendly..
And feel every actions of yours..

Today, somewhere, someone is thinking about you now... And she'll be in your arms soon... Just dont wait for that moment, let it take you by surprise...

For the time being feel comfortable with your own life..
Listen to the silence of the night, the chirping of the birds.. Enjoy this beauty of this vast nature... and try to help people...

Smile now please... and say this sentence in your heart...
"I am good as I am and I will change only for a better tomorrow.. no drugs, no medicines..!! My days of happiness will come soon.."

Answer 3

It is very good you are trying to take care of yourself and you stopped using alcohol.
Antidepressants could help make it easier to do things.
I understand you not wanting to go to therapy because it is not "real" love. Even though it is not "real", there are positive things that can come from it.
There is the consistency factor. You have not had much consistency in your life. Therapy is something that is predictable.
You will be treated with respect.
You will be listened to and responded to which is important because you said no one was ever there for you.
It is these basic needs that get met which helps us know how we are supposed to be treated and how good it feels to be treated this way. Once you feel these good feelings, it will help you know what you are looking for in life.
This is how therapy helped me.
We care about you. Love is very important.
I hope you will feel loved.

Answer 4

Listen first off you need to talk to your doctor about therapy and antidepressants. You will never find anyone who regretted going to therapy. Everyone in my family is bipolar so I sort of understand. As for love..... Love is something that if you go and look for it, it will allude you. It comes when you least expect it. We all want to be loved, but it comes at a different time for everyone.

Response to the guy below me: Anti depressants are not for people who are suicidal. Learn to READ: everyone in his family has CLINICAL DEPRESSION, therefore he is genetically predisposed to depression: His serotonin is naturally imbalanced and antidepressants will help regulate his moods so that he can get back on his feet and be happy.

Answer 5

As the old saying goes, you must first love yourself. I agree with the idea to run or if you don't like that then maybe weight lifting, as you see the changes in your body it will help with how you feel about yourself. It will be almost like magic that is really all you have to do. Help yourself and you will attract people to you because your attitude changes.
I also recommend keeping a journal that you write in everyday. Make yourself write something every day regardless if you think you have anything to write about.
Good Luck

Answer 6

i kinda know where your coming from. my problem is: i dont know how to love. i am incapable of loving anyone, i was neglected and abused as a child so i never learnt trust or love. i went into self destructive behaviour too, mainly self injury. i am on anti depressants and i feel you would benefit from them too. seeing a therapist would also really help but as for the love... thats a tough one. love is complicated and it brings more pain than its worth - i think. i cant show love but i can still be a good friend, if you ever need someone to talk to, im here for you, i respect you and i care! please IM me if you want

Answer 7

as Jim Morrison used to say,
Nothing left to do but run, run run.
just start running, like gump.
you will get fit and get runners high and if you do good things for others, it will get your mind off of yourself. you will meet others and share your desire to help your fellow man, and you will feel less alone and maybe you will even find someone to love you back. and try to develop a sense of humor, because if you make people laugh, you will always have friends.

okay, now go out there and win!

Answer 8

The best way to receive love is to give it. Do things for others. Volunteer to help people or animals. The feeling of helping others is very satisfying and makes you feel worthwhile and therefore loved.
Also, you will focus on the needs of others instead of just yourself. Mother Teresa was one of the best loved women in the world. I bet she never even worried about herself because she was giving herself to others.

Answer 9

anti depressants? only if you are about to buy a noose. this will probably sound a bit corny or you've probably heard it millions of times, but first you got to love yourself. how do you do that? well surely don't blame yourself for things out of your control and forgive yourself for the things you do wrong that are in your control. i like how you got some positive thinking in there. people who are in really bad shape have none. i have learned a lot from reading classical pieces and also from quotes. people will laugh at quotes and song lyrics, but people have felt the same way you do right? they also express them in wisdom(quotes) and song(lyrics). they provide answers you don't yet know. so check out my sources and take the time/effort to help yourself.

don't get too down bud. I'll always have your back. you sound like a righteous dude. hit me up with an e-mail. I'm basically a therapist and love helping people. goatsrrunnin@yahoo

Answer 10

Try to talk or mingle with them. Or maybe try to do something different so that they'll notice you. Don't think that no one loves you, because you should bare in mind that "no man is an island." Everyone of us needs someone to be happy in life. Good Luck, friend!!!