ive been seeing my guy for almost 5 months. doesn't sound like a long time but in short, it's been a real whirlwind. he admitted when things began to escalate that he was having a kid with a friend (short-lived encounter). they were never together, just good friends that got some alcohol into them and obviously, this is what ended up happening. he's a responsible man, working day and night to save up for his baby girl that comes in february. i really care for him and i wanna keep pursuing this but we both decided to hold off on getting serious and just see where things go and how much time he will have for me when his baby comes. idk what to do. its like i know i care about him in ways i never felt about any other man. but at the same time, this is a hard situation to deal with. the girl doesn't like me that much b/c she claims she loves him. i respect her but she's a nut and i dont know what her next plans are. uggggh i dont wanna leave but idk what to do. any suggestions...?
2007-12-21 19:22:24 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be careful? What happens when money is tight and it's a choice between spend it on you or spend it on the baby???
You realize if you do get serious , the baby will be excess baggage. Can you handle that?
This is the sad fact about casual, alcohol based relationships. The consequences stay around forever, even though the relationship doesn't.
2007-12-21 19:29:23 · answer #1 · answered by TedEx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plenty of fish in the sea. Obviously they've been friends so he can tolerate her. I say let her try to get with him because there is a child to think about and a kid needs two parents to work things out. Love isn't essential in marriage, just respect and compromise, maybe those two can work something out for their daughter's sake. Not sure if it will or won't, but it could be something of a nagging burden on your concious to know that you were a wall in the relationship between the two baby makers and baby in some shape or form. Not saying you wouldn't be a good mother or anything but things get confusing when kids come into the picture and there's no rings involved. Kinda like claimed terrority without a flag there to represent your claim.
2007-12-21 19:31:26 · answer #2 · answered by A55H0L3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She loves him but does he love her? If there is any chance that he wants to be with her I would back off. If not since he is everything that you want in a man I would take it as he wants and see where it goes. If you stay with him love that baby like your own. She did not ask for this. He will have time for you but it will probably be mostly with the baby. I would wait it out. I think that would be better than giving up now and always wondering if you did the right thing. Hope things work out for you.
2007-12-21 19:29:55 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey...
Here is what i think:
1. She loves him / wants to be with him cause he is the dad. She'll need him and his support (financially & emotionally). So she wud want to be with him.
2. He is responsible and even if he doesnt really love her, he is workin n saving for his kid. i.e., when the kid comes - his interction with tht girl will only increase.
Don't just go all out n be very very emotionally Dependant on him... though i know its nt possible to control d way we feel, but he might nt have the time / emotional space to go fr a serious long term relationship. for all u know, he might land up with the mom of his kid...
Dont shut him out... be with him, but dnt get so involved tht u hurt urself...
all the best & take care.
2007-12-21 19:29:53 · answer #4 · answered by ... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. It sounds like you are the only one that did any listening when he suggested holding things for now. How can you deal with your feelings together when he's the only one putting them out there? I'm sure it's a very difficult situation for you, but communication will help.
2007-12-21 19:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by James Bond 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id check out the dates 1st when u siarted seeing him when baby concieved its the guy u like the kid will like u or wont thats up 2 u bottom line if u dont trust him or have doubts cheese it get out now b4 u hurt l8tr hows the x do u get on with her ? if not shel make ur life a misery by melting his head coz of the baby used as a weapon
2007-12-21 19:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by markykno1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg, this is so similar.
my bf has 3 yearsold bbygirl wth his ex. they onc ever got maried but they were divorced 2 years ago.
he's not that wealthy guy that he needs to work hard and harder to be able to provide for his life n his daughter.
he loves his baby so much until one day hi ex said that he is not allowed to see his baby anymore right after he told her how mush he loves me now. she used the baby to state a war against me. i was bothered so bad. i kept on nagging and did stuipis stuffs. i easily got angry to him and even insult him somehow.and this is only because of her made the fire.
and then i realise, im much more better than this woman, unless it is, my man will never chose me at all.
im pretty, im smart, im a lawyer, im so successful, and got his love in myside what else i need?
this is how i deal with it, i talked to my bf my feeling and how much i feel bothered, and i asked him to let me to talk to his ex face to face. at first he thought it aint necessary, or maybe he's afraid that we'll make some girlsfight,hehe, but i convince him it'll be ok. then i talked to her, i told her ho much i love her ex, and how much the love he had for me. i told her that i will always keep in is mind to be always be with her daughter like i always do all the time.
i told her that i understand the situation and ask her to understand it aswell.
i knew that she was suprised that time, but she finally be ok with me and with us.i was so confident and i knew i was doin it fo mylf, my lover, and th rest of us. but if she wanted a war, then war i'll give her (hehehe).
be brave baby, no one can fight such a confident lady.
p.s: i want to hear more from you, maybe we can share more
2007-12-21 19:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by aleea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Complicated situation. If you become a part of this man's life, you have to deal with the nut forever.
2007-12-21 19:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by Helena 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you're already in deep. Just be careful and keep your eyes wide open. If you're going to try and make it work with him,you're going to have to deal with her for the rest of your life. Can you do that?
2007-12-21 19:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by big_tree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, now that is a hard situation to be in,
Does he have feelings for her??? I think it might be better for you to just hang out and see what happens,
If you really love him, then you would stand by his side no matter what.
2007-12-21 19:28:50 · answer #10 · answered by Krazy In Love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋