Young "expecting father" needing some guidance!!?

Question

Ok heres the thing, I just turned 21 about 2 months ago (which tells you I'm a young guy), only have had a years worth of college done (no degree yet..), and living @ home w/ parents. (sounds loserish), my girlfriend is also young (19), and we dont have bad credit but we have NO CREDIT, both live at home, and she cant work, baby due in about 6 months, I found a job (only making 35,000peryear), and I'm trying to find out what are some of the things that i should do other than just save my money...we want to try to move out in the next 5 months.....other than penny pinching, what should i do (it is my responsibility to make sure i take care of her and the baby..not anyone else)...what programs...be it government..or even types of bank accounts i should set up for future things....im clueless!! HELP!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I am a father of three children and much much older than you and I can tell you right now, you are not in some strange vortex of misfortune, you are simply feeling the pains of maturity and responsibility.

Although it might not seem so in todays materialistic world, but 35,000 is quite a bit of money for a guy your age and there's alot that you can do with it. The best advice I can give you is not to allow the stress of life to invade the happiness that you and your family can experience with even the simplest lifestyle.

Practically, here;s some thing I have learned through the years as a father and husband.

1. Join a church or support group. You will need them in times of struggle
2. Set aside one day a week to spend solely on your family. Guard it carefully and don't let anything or anyone invade it. This will yield much better dividends than any monetary investment you will even make.
3. No matter what your lifestyle, make it a point to save. A good number is 10% of your income but if you can do more that's even better.
4. Live in an apartment for a few years until you have established enough credit and savings to buy a home. Make sure that the apartment you choose is one that you will enjoy and feels like a temporary home to you.
5. Stay completely out of debt with the exception of your rent and eventual mortgage. I can't tell you how important this.
6. Get one (and only one) credit card with a limit you can easily pay off with a chunk of your savings and use it only for items you would otherwise buy and would be able to afford without it.
7. Take your wife out to dinner at least once a week, even if it is at McDonald's. Get your parents to babysit if you have to. It is important to replenish your motivation for the things above by planting some quality into your life. You don't want the pressures of responsibility to overwhelm you.
8. Become givers. You will be surprised what an investment in the lives of others will do for you financially, socially and emotionally.

Work hard, and love your family, the rest will follow.

Answer 2

You don't sound like a loser to me. Yes, you are young and being a parent is a very serious thing to be faced with, but you sound like you are committed to your family and want to do the right thing. I think you should both talk to each other and to your parents about it. Can you do that? Your parents would probably have experience with what it feels like to be having a baby on the way and money management concerns and questions, and want to help you plan for the long and short term. It will be their grandchild too. If that is not possible, maybe you can talk to the social security department about benefits and programs, and to the bank about term deposit accounts and accounts with the best interest and least charges etc., and ask at the clinic about parent's groups and support resources available. Good luck and hope things go well - might not be how you expected things would be, but that is life and if you have health, that is important.

Answer 3

For your child, open up a 529 plan to save for his/her college education. You'll need to scrimp and save, but even $50 a month can make a huge difference when it gathers interest over 18 years. A college education is one of the best things you can give a child. (http://money.howstuffworks.com/529.htm)

Also, consider asking your parents if you can stay under their roof a little longer. It might help you save on expenses if you can agree to pay part of their mortgage and bills at a rate lower than rent in your area.

Look up medical care for expectant mothers in the yellow pages to find good prenatal care--it helps spot problems early. Many places offer this for free.

Continue with school if you can. If you can finish school and get a better job, that will allow you to better provide for your family. See if your girlfriend will get a job/education and will contribute; after all, it's both your responsibilities.

Having a child at a young age is not the best idea, but you can't stop what's already occurred. Just remember that you've got to work extra hard for your first child, and that maybe you have to plan out when you'll have your next one so that you're older and have more financial stability.

Answer 4

As a Mother of three grown children, two boys and one girl, there are a number of things that bother me in your question. ( it is my responsibilities to make sure I take care of her and the baby...not anyone else) , ( she can't work ). It's great that you want to do everything "right" with your new family but, sweetie it is not just YOUR responsibility...it is also your girlfriends, why can;t she work ? Being pregnant doesn't mean you can just sit down and do nothing for 9 months ! A woman is perfectly capable of working during pregnancy. It took two of you to make this baby...not just one ! So it is both of your responsibilities to care for it. Don't try and take this all on your own shoulders!, speak to your parents and hers about what the best thing is for your futures, hopefully you will find some way to continue your education and your girlfriend will too. as that is the best long term plan you can make for your future.

Answer 5

See if she can stay with her parents for a little while longer... moving the month before delivery might be too much for her, and moving too soon afterwards will certainly be as well. This is about comfort level.

Get a credit card and take yourself to lunch at Taco Bell once a month with it... and pay it off completely when the bill arrives. That will help establish credit history.
When you become eligible, sign up for a 401K at your job and choose the mutual funds that are the higher-yielding "international funds".
Consider hitting the nearest investools seminar and use information from the "mad money" program and site to start building a nest egg. There are extremely cheap on-line stock trading sites.

Answer 6

First off, I don't understand why if she's only 3 months pregnant she can't take a part time office job? This way whatever she makes, she will also be able to save something.

I'm sure you have a checking account right? Go to your local bank and borrow the minimum amount that is non secured.
Meaning it's an Installment loan not secured against a home or any type of personal property.

You need to start estabishing some sort of credit, so we'll start here. Let's say your banks minimum amount is $1,000.00. You get approved and get the check. Deposit it into your account. Ask the bank if you will recieve a monthly statement or a payment book.

The FIRST thing you do is payback $750.00 immediately, then make monthly payments on the amount borrowed till paid in full and make sure it is paid ON TIME.
Now, you have a little credit established.

The second thing you do is apply for a credit card. Shop around and get the lowest rate (APR-Annual Percentage Rate) as possible.

Charge only a few items on it, enough you know you can pay back and ON TIME.

Now, you have some credit established.

Who's insurance is going to cover your girlfriends pregnancy?
you two aren't married and I'm sure your company will not cover her, if you get married now because she's already pregnant....like a "pre existing" thing.

If you know you will be moving out in say 5 months, take a saturday and visit a few apt. complexes and go into the rental office. They are open on saturdays and some are only open a half day. But what you want to do, is ASK them NOW, what they will require for you to rent an apt. say in 6 months.

They will need your paystubs, so keep those in a safe place now and in order in case they ask you for a months worth.

your rent qualification will be based on a ratio of your earnings and the cost of the apartment.

So, see what they have to offer (DON'T sign a lease yet) tell them you are just starting to look around and want to know if you qualify. At this time you don't have to provide a paystub, just tell the girl or man how much you make and DO NOT let them run your credit report. It is NOT necessary at this stage in the game. Plus it goes against you everytime your credit is ran. It's called a credit score. Based on the number of debts you have, how you pay, etc.
don't worry about that yet, you need to get credit first.

Having a baby today is very expensive and if she isn't covered by insurance, you might want to find out if she's covered under her parents insurance. If she isn't you better be prepared for an extremly high expense coming up.

If she's diffently covered, then ok.

Now, there is a web site called Craigslist, just go to www.craigslist.com select your CITY.

It's pretty much free advertising and they have a "FREE" listing in there, just look around.

People are actually GIVING away good stuff. Baby items, Living room furniture, beds, you would not believe what some people HAVE to get rid of. Just be careful there is some junk on there, but if you check it all the time, you will always find things you need or for very cheap. Just starting out, you'll have a lot of expensives and with a baby coming, there will be more.

You could actually get most of your things on this site, but never get a car seat or such on there. There have been too many recalls on them, so new is the best when it comes to the safety of your child. Maybe she could ask for that on her baby shower list at BabiesRUS or some other baby store.

There is so much getting ready to come at you, ask your parents, co-workers and they do have classes for parenting and preparing for baby.

The first thing you need to do is get "some" credit in your name. You need to show you can borrower money and pay it back on time. (Discussed toward the top)

Secondly go and visit some rental offices and get some prices now on what the rents are in your area. FIND out, what "IS" included and what is NOT included in the rent, like water, electric, gas, trash usually is, but find out.
Are you going to have a home phone?
Call now and see how much the deposit is.

Do you both have reliable cars?
If not, could you afford a car payment and rent and food and gas and baby formula and diapers and Dr. appointments and the utilities and furniture and all the other little things in life?

OH, If you don't already have a bank account, get one now.
Go to a bank that has no minimum amount you don't want to be paying high monthly fees if you can't keep up with a minimum amount. That gets costly and could be anywhere from $20.00 to $35.00 if you fall below that amount.

Wachovia offers checking accounts without minimum balances. Google your local banks and call them. Ask what types of checking accounts they have. How much do they charge for checks, do they have a no minimum balance checking account? What are their fees for everything or anything that could go wrong.

If you don't ask as many questions as possible, you won't get a lot of answers.

But really, your girlfriend is out of high school and it wouldn't hurt her to obtain a parttime job even if she went to a temp. agency. This way she could work for at least 3 months and help contribute for both of your 'START UP COSTS".

But you both need to stay home for as long as you can in order to save. While you're saving you can also do these other things...awh the benifits of the internet :)

Well good luck to you both and congrats ~

Answer 7

If you plan on opening a savings account, make sure you get one that has compound interests... make more money that way.

Beyond that, I really don't know. Learn to manage money, not necessarily penny pinching, but learn how to get rid of erroneous expenses.

Also, I'd talk to the parents. See if they'd be willing to help, and see if you can't get really easy jobs that help bring in a little extra money. My aunt made an extra 500 dollars by helping three local churches stuff envelopes for four Saturdays. It's good money.

Answer 8

Go to an expectant parents' group and get some advice and support. It is good you have a job and want to be responsible for your baby and wife. There is more to think about besides money, though. It is good you are thinking of money, but you will face a lot more challenges along the way, as far as communication, parenting, medical care, etc. Go to an expectant parents support group. Ask in the clinic where your wife goes for medical care if there is a counselor you can speak with. Go to planned parenthood and get advice through them. You have a lot ahead of you. Good luck.

Answer 9

It's okay to be overwhelmed,that's normal.Sounds like you are already doing everything that you should be.Extra points to you for stepping up and being a man!The only advice I can give would sound like that country song..."Don't worry 'bout what you don't know,life's a dance,you learn as you go".So relax,and enjoy the total experience of becoming a father!Besides,35,000 a year isn't that bad.Some families make it on less than that.Congratulations to you both,and good luck!

Answer 10

35,000 grand a year, you have no problems, go with the flow and enjoy your life.
go and see a bank manager or financial advisor as regards finance.
pop down to your local housing office for housing needs.
best of all see your parents and close friends
good luck and enjoy