I am currently separated and in the process of getting divorced. Because she is in New Jersey I have to be separated for 18 months to file for the type of divorce that we want. We are still friends and we talk, we just can't be married anymore. Its been almost a year that we have been living apart. I give her the required money and we are not mad at each other at all. Problem is, my Chain of command is threatening me with UCMJ because of a friend that I talk to. Can they give me UCMJ? Why would they even care what I do with y personal life? No one is complaining. I have terrible leadership and I think they should be worried about more important things. Anybody have some input???
2007-12-21 16:36:40 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
"friend that I talk to." TALK... no. That's not adultery. However, if you've been doing more than just talking... You are still legally married.
I do find it odd that your command would be initiating adultery charges... if you're just talking. Usually that's something a spouse does.
I'm trying to imagine the kinds of questions you might be asked. "While it's conceded that you were just talking over drinks at the bar, and over dinner, but were you 'just talking' at the motel in the dark between 2200 and 0500?" I'd say that if there's a chance they could ask a question like that, all bets are off.
2007-12-21 17:54:58 · answer #1 · answered by gugliamo00 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the military, the codes for adultery stand even with a legal seperation. Any sexual activity or intimate relationships with someone other than your spouse prior to the legal dissolution of the marriage are considered adulterous. However, the reality of it is they rarely act in those circumstances, especially if the ex-spouse is ok with it. And if you are simply talking to someone, there really is no basis for the charges. It sounds as if they are looking for someone to make an example of, possibly because this has been an ongoing problem in the area or unit. It could also be...and this is unfair, but happens...that you simply pissed someone off along the way. MY suggestion would be to contact JAG to find out exactly what the regs are concerning this and to ask what would happen.
As for your comment about your personal life, if you have been active duty for any length of time, you should know that what you do and how you behave off duty is often times just as important as what you do on duty. The military is one of the few careers where you can get a poor performance rating if you bounced a few checks, weren't active enough in community activities and had guidelines for what you can wear in civilian clothes on base (and even off base in some over seas posts). Adultery has become a huge issue for the military..both internally and image wise. So many people assume all military men cheat while deployed or that military wives have lovers. To combat it, the military has started to be far more proactive, especially as the divorce rate in the military is higher than similar statistics for civilians. Domestic issues have come under increasingly close scrutiny. Keep that in mind while dealing with this.
2007-12-22 13:17:45 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your chain of command is correct you are still legally married and according to the UCMJ it is considered adultery if you start any kind of new relationship while you are still married. Seems like your chain of command is not a big fan of you or maybe you are standing out like a sore thumb in your workplace. Either is a bad thing. Lay low and just wait until you are divorced to start a new relationship. You need to recover because the rebound relationship is usually not that great for your career anyway.
2007-12-22 10:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you a little story. In the 90s, our Commander in Chief commited adultery and was not bound by the UCMJ. However, there were many soldiers who lost rank, pay, locked up for adultery.
As long as your relationship is completely platonic, you will be ok, however, someone could get the wrong picture if you spend too much time with your friend. Play it safe, and wait it out for the divorce to be final. If your new friend cares for you and wants a relationship, she will understand. Some states only require 90 days for a divorce to be final. Contact your legal office for more details and advice.
2007-12-22 04:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by Red 7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Separation means nothing to the military, only divorce. If you do anything before the divorce, you can get into trouble.
The reason they care if for security. Adultry is something someone could blackmail you for. Thats how spies often get people to be stooges for them. Not only is UCMJ a risk here, so is your clearance.
2007-12-22 00:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by mnbvcxz52773 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The chain of command isn't after you, per se. The damage to unit morale and cohesion is the underlying rationale for coming down hard on what would otherwise be a personal issue.
If the friend you talk to is married to someone, your social interaction is causing someone else grief, and it's come to the attention of theose in command.
Bide your time, find a new friend, and work on improving yourself as a person for the next "Ms. Right" that will come into your life.
Thank you for serving, I know exactly how hard it is for you.
2007-12-22 00:45:27 · answer #6 · answered by What to do? 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
short answer, yes. but adultry is really hard to prove and usually isn't that big a deal by itself. it's usually added on to other charges for harsher punishment. technically since you are still married than in effect you could be charged with adultry. there is no specific article in the UCMJ it is covered in Article 134 (the catchall article). They care because you are violating not only the UCMJ but the values of your service. you might see terrible leadership but they might see a terrible Soldier or whatever you are.
2007-12-22 00:45:09 · answer #7 · answered by Scott S 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If you have bad leadership I would be wary. It is against military law to commit adultery. In my last 6 months active duty I saw a SGT get busted down to Pvt put in the brig and then discharged from the marines because of adultery. again it all depends on your unit and what your CO wants to do, but if he can prove it in court and he wants to press it then stand by.
2007-12-22 01:49:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are legally separated.
Ie: been to court/lawyer, etc.
Then no, you won't be charged.
If your not legally separated, and just separated on your own,
Then yes you can be charged.
The military doesn't charge many people with adultry anymore.
Generally only if it involves the spouse of another service member or a married service member.
If they catch a service member having an affair with a civilian, they will just order you to stop.
Now if you continue, then they will go after you and charge you with disobeying an order.
2007-12-22 00:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by jeeper_peeper321 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I just went thru a divorce before my last deployment, and YES you are subject to the adultery charge if you are "having sexual relations" with anyone before your divorce is final and you have the DIVORCE papers IN YOUR HAND
2007-12-22 00:52:53 · answer #10 · answered by SGT O 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋