i've been with my bf almost two yrs he's almot 26 i already hav one child her father left when i got preg after bein engaged for 5 yrs. i met him right after my fiance left. he went through the whole preg wit me and loves my daughter to death. now i'm preg wit his child but he wants me to hav an abortion cuz we're not married i told him no and he's leavin me cuz i wont do it. Mostly because he dont think his family will accept it.
2007-12-21 16:31:06 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
you do what you want to do with your pregnancy. If hes gonna leave cause you dont feel like killing his baby, then hes a peice of s*** and good riddins
2007-12-21 16:36:07 · answer #1 · answered by loquitaamericana 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Let him leave, he is clearly not worth it if he will leave you over this. I'm sorry to say it but he may just be looking for an excuse to leave anyway. The family thing is an excuse, he is the one that doesn't want the baby or any more of a commitment with you.
Do not have an abortion for his sake, if it is something you dont' believe in it you will regret it forever and will also blame him for it, so your relationship is ruined either way.
I don't know what you'll think of this, but I would suggest that you seriously consider adoption, so that you can focus your emotional and financial resources on raising your daughter. There are agencies that arrange it and in some cases the birth mother even gets to choose between applications of couples who want to adopt a baby. In some cases you may be able to work out an "open adoption" where you know who they are and you get to visit, or at least get sent letters and pictures over the years. If not that, you may be able to have an agreement to write a letter that they will give the child when he or she is 18. and they may choose then to find you.
I know it would be really, really hard to surrender a baby you carried 9 months but this might be the greatest gift right now you could give to both the new baby and to the daughter you already have....as well as to another couple who is not able to have a baby and really wants one.
Good luck, hon. Hang in there.
2007-12-21 17:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by Ariane deR 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that, don't do it. Listen to your heart and your head - they are connected. Any dad who wants to kill his child for convenience is not worth hanging on to. I listened to my husband and got the abortion. That was 27 years ago and I have watched that child grow up in my head ever since. First birthday, he'd be starting kindergarten, my daughter should have an older sibling, she'd be driving now, he would have graduated this year, she have been married by now, maybe I'd be a grandma.....(due date was week of Mother's Day - that was tough). The marriage lasted less than a year and i regret it every day. This guy is not a keeper, your baby is. I had an abortion at about 10 weeks and when I was pregnant with my daughter 9 yrs later, I was ill and had a sonogram at 11 wks. She was completely recognizeable, doing somersaults and waving at me. I was thrilled and crushed at the same time because of the one I had killed. Find a church who will help you if your family won't. I wish I knew you, you could live with me and my 2 kids till you get it all figured out. I will pray for you.
2007-12-21 19:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by vali 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Alright, you already have one child right? And the father from her left you....and you are making due by yourself raising her. Awesome! Now you are faced with the decision of getting an abortion to save a relationship that might end anyway....I suggest that if you don't believe in abortion DON'T do it. I was faced with the decision when I got preg. with my daughter almost 6 years ago. The father said the exact same thing, that we weren't married and that his family wouldn't accept it. Well I told him to f*** off and I left him before he could leave me. I had my daughter and if any man loves you he will NOT make you make that decision. It sounds like an ultimatium, either me or the baby...and that's not love.
Good luck with your decision and I know you will make the right one. You sound like a strong woman!!!
2007-12-22 03:52:58 · answer #4 · answered by Patriciamommyof3 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being married or unmarried should have no bearing on whether or not you should terminate or continue a pregnancy. Your boyfriend, I'm sorry to say, sounds as though he wants you to do this because he doesn't want to take responsibility as a father. In my book, that makes him a miserable excuse of a human being...someone you are better off without!
Just as it is your right to have an abortion, it is also your right NOT to have one. If you have an abortion due to pressure or intimidation or fear of losing the relationship, you will regret it the rest of your days...and he may leave you anyway...and even worse? throw it up in your face in the heat of anger. I've seen men do this sort of thing. It's dispicable!
I'd say if you want the baby, then have the baby anyway, and be prepared to raise it on your own...or consider adoption. If he wants nothing to do with the child then have him sign away his right to paternity.
Take courage. Millions of women worldwide are raising children on their own, and if they can do it, so can you. It won't be easy but it can be done. You have to do what's right for YOU not for his convenience or his family's approval or disapproval.
2007-12-21 17:14:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't even think about it its you that's Guinna go throw the pain not him and you will never forgive your self for it its like your killing a child if his not happy because your not married then its a good time for it but if its just to make his family proud then his wrong cause its you that should came first not his family if he really loves you he should stand by you no matter what even if his going to have some headaches with his family so what they will get over it one day don't let you self down and don't let you girl grow up with out a sis its in your hands and he should be happy with what ever you decide to do...
2007-12-21 16:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is NOT worth murdering your unborn child over. He is much too selfish to realize the gravity of what he's asking you to do.
[In my opinion, it is no different than him giving you a gun and threatening to leave you unless you shoot the baby. I doubt he would have the nerve to kill a child if he had to look him or her in the eye while he pulled the trigger.]
I urge you to choose life for your defenseless unborn. Otherwise, I can tell you from experience that you will regret it for the rest of your life. :(
E-mail me anytime if you would like to discuss this further. I support you in saying no to abortion.
2007-12-21 21:00:48 · answer #7 · answered by clayinspiration 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is leaving because you won't get an abortion, I would get rid of him no matter what you do. But I would suggest not getting one, as you are already not sure, then it tells me that you really don't want to have an abortion. So do the right thing and keep it!
2007-12-21 17:21:13 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay. If you decide to have sex with someone, you should discuss, beforehand, what would happen if you had one.
Bottom line, however, it's the woman's choice.
If he leaves you, good riddance! Do you want a man in your life who forces you to get an abortion? God no. He's an idiot, clearly. This is why child support exists. Or, if you don't believe in abortion, you can always put it up for adoption. =/
2007-12-21 16:37:55 · answer #9 · answered by Cher Bear 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if he leave yous..then his an a$$hole and doesnt deserve to be with you.
if you want that child then you keep it.
It doesnt really matter what his family will think ...they wont be waking up every 1-2 hours to feed a crying a baby.
sorry i just hate it when a guy and a girl get pregnant..and then the guy wants the easy way out.
it is not fair ..and like i said..if you want it ..keep it..if he leaves you..then he is an a$$hole.
2007-12-21 16:48:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Then dont get an abortion - once he leaves he has no say in what you do. You know in your heart its the wrong thing ( at least it sure sounds that way from your question). So dont do it. He will either accept your decision or not - you can only control what you do not what he does.
2007-12-21 16:36:36 · answer #11 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋