I dislike my sister in law with my child?

Question

Am i being alittle too over protected with my newborn son??
I dont like the way she raises her children and I hate when my hubby ask for my son to spend a day or night with her. He gets affended when i disagree as he thinks she is fine (they are close brother and sister)
She always gets smart when i remind her things or ask about my son. For example, my son takes two medications twice daily for a heart condition. This medicine will keep him alive until he has his surgery at 4 months old. I texted her or call her to remind her that its time for his meds and she snaps stating "i know when he gets his meds, i dont need a da*n reminder". What is so wrong with reminding someone. She swearly states how she raised 3 kids and I dont need to keep telling her things but I feel its my son and If i have something I need to say or remind I will.
I would rather remind someone to give my son his meds then let someone accidently forget.
Am I being over protected with not wanting her to take him?

Answer 1

First of all if you want to remind her, then remind her, even if it is for your own peace of mind. Because you would rather have tension between you two, then God forbid she did miss it and something happened.
If you don't like how shes raising her children then i understand you not wanting her to watch yours. I don't let my friend watch mine for that reason, even though she is a wonderful person. But since the father disagrees with you and it is family, unless you have actual fears about how she treats you child, you might want to pick your battles on that one. Don't worry about offending anyone by wanting your child to be raised and treated how you feel that he should be, because hes the most important thing in the world. You wouldn't loan your car to someone who doesn't keep theirs clean would you, and a dirty cars not that important if you think about it.

Answer 2

I don't think you're being over protective at all. He is your son and you have EVERY right to call and check up on him...especially if he has a medical condition. If you don't like the way she raises/treats her own children why are you leaving your baby with her? Maybe you should try to figure out a different situation if you need child care...you and you son both deserve to feel good about the person that takes care of him while you are not with him.

Good luck and happy holidays!

EDIT:
I assume that your son is being watched by your sister-in-law while you are both working...that is the only reason I can come up with to justify your leaving him for such long periods of time and over night...especially with a medical condition. He really does need to be cared for by you and your husband as much as possible, especially with his heart condition. If you are leaving him for another reason than work, then I simply suggest that you don't leave him...it's not necessary. If you are leaving him because of work, then I suggest finding a different child care situation, and maybe see if there is anything you or your husband can do to cut back on your expenses then you can adjust your work hours (or even get a different job) and spend more time with your son.

Again, good luck!

Answer 3

I don't think your being over protective at all. It sounds like a pretty serious condition and you have every right to just remind her about your sons medication, I mean its for a heart condition, its not like your reminding her to give him gas drops or something. I personally would never leave my baby who is so young, especially with a heart condition, but if you do and don't feel comfortable leaving him with your sister in law, I just wouldn't do it.

Answer 4

You sound like a first time mom. But I can completely understand about him needing his meds and you worrying if he gets them or not. I'm sure she feels a little insulted by your reminders. But like you said. He's YOUR baby. So I wouldn't care if she gets annoyed or not. I would say yeah its probably ok for him to stay them night and stuff. But, I would be calling to remind her of things also. So don't worry about it. Tell her this is my child and if anything ever happened to him because someone was being stupid or forgetful or anything. And he ended up getting hurt. I will kill you!!! Maybe not in those exact terms, but I'd make it very clear. tell her you don't really feel comfortably yet. And maybe to wait on the spending so much time over there until he gets bigger.

Answer 5

Tell her this okay? "Look, you know what? I KNOW that you have raised three kids, but this is my FIRST kid, and yeah, I may seem a little overprotective, but don't you think I have the right to be? He has a heart condition and he's my first baby. And did I mention that he has a heart condition..." Oh I could go on and on. I'll make it short and sweet. YOUR gut is RIGHT when it comes to you and your child. Your husband needs to understand your feelings also, regardless of whether or not it's his sister. And she should NOT have snapped at you for being a GOOD mother and calling to make sure he got his meds on time. if you want to be nice about it, just tell her, "Look I know you have your hands full with the little ones, and I just wanted to make sure that the time didn't slip past you" .. or something like that. But snapping at you... omg, honey he's YOUR baby, not hers. What's her number, I'll set her straight for you! (Not really... don't take me up on that... but if I knew yall, heck ya I would!)

Answer 6

Ordinarily it should not be a big deal for her to name the child the same as there is a 15 year age difference. But based on what you told us, she is an idiot, to put things bluntly. Is she doing this to provoke you or your husband or son or a combination? Is there anyone she respects in your family that can act as a go between? How well do you get along with your brother? She acts very strange, but you can not stop her from naming her child any name she wants. Best of luck to you all. Hey, try to get her on the Springer show if you can get her away from her trailer home.

Answer 7

I don't think you are over protective at all. especially if your son has a heart condition. If she snaps at you about reminding her I would just be flippant about it. Something like, well you may have three but I have just one, and he is my world so forgive me if I am a little obssesive. haha Also why do you have to leave him with her overnight? or at all. Babies are very easy to cart around when they are that little, unless you are at work or something. Don't feel bad though I am the same way and I have four! I remind my sister of stuff everytime I ask her to watch them and she just rolls her eyes and laughs at me!

Answer 8

Nope you are doing the right thing!!! Its your son. Next time she says that let her know in the same tone she's using the same thing u just told us. Let her know she's gonna get a reminder everyday she watches your son until he's 4 months. Don't feel bad. Its in all of mommies, we just show it in different ways.

Answer 9

You are just being a good mother. Personally, I wouldn't leave my newborn with anyone at such a young age & with a heart condition. Why would your brother suggest sending your son to his sister's in the first place? He's a newborn....he belongs with his mama!

Answer 10

i would not send him, new born babies are only newborn up until 6 weeks and i would cherish the time every day.
i would start barking up at sister inlaw and husband because your the mother here not her, you dont like the way she raises her 3 children, then stick to your guns and dont send your son there.
tough luck for them i say