several hundred miles away to give to someone else. He called me and asked me if it was "OK" to give it away. Then he said I was "over-reacting" when I got upset about it, telling him he should never have taken it. He is living in my house rent free. He talks me down when I try to reason with him. What do you suggest?
2007-12-21 15:20:31 · 31 answers · asked by Ruby 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Change the locks while he is gone. He is too old to be living at home and acting like he is 6 instead of 26. He has no respect for you or your personal belongings. Too cheap to buy a gift with his own money so he takes something of yours which makes him a thief.
2007-12-21 15:24:10 · answer #1 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him 30 days to get a job and get his own place. The longer you enable him to be immature then the longer it will take for him to grow up.
You two share the responsibility for creating a situation which is not good for either of you.
A coffee cup would be insignificant in a healthy relationship. It's a symptom of a more severe illness.
2007-12-21 15:27:06 · answer #2 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has no appreciation or respect for you whatsoever, and it has gone on too long and too far.
You really need to set a firm "move out" date for him, and in the meantime, hit him up for rent -- which will include his share of the utilities and groceries.
What my sister did to get rid of some freeloading relatives:
Stopped the cable TV and internet service. Had the phone company disallow all long distance phone calls. Put a lock box on the thermostat. And QUIT buying groceries... except maybe the bare minimum peanut butter and bread. They moved out.
2007-12-21 15:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't seem to have much respect for you. Give him a month to get a job, and another month after that to get his own place. Then stick to that. If he doesn't get a job in a month, kick him out. If he gets a job and doesn't get a place a month after that, kick him out. Make sure he understands CLEARLY that this is what will happen, and that there are no exceptions, and no amount of talking you down will make any difference.
Remember, people only treat you how YOU allow them to. If you've allowed him to talk you down, that's YOUR fault. You have to stop doing that. Just say NO.
2007-12-21 15:36:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get your coffee cup back and kick his butt out! He's 26...time to enter the real world! Don't try to reason with him, because apparently he is being unreasonable. Twenty-six is not a child anymore. My husband and I are 27 and we are raising a child, paying a mortgage, two car payments, and putting my husband through school.....this guy doesn't even have to pay rent?!?!
2007-12-21 15:42:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he can get his own apartment and that he has 30 days to make the move. There is no call for that kind of treatment.
It's time for him to learn some life lessons and he isn't getting them living rent free.
2007-12-21 15:24:54 · answer #6 · answered by Dan H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick him out he should be paying you to stay at your house iam sorry but how long is the free ride going to last are you going to be paying for him for ever cause that is not what a parent is about when i turned 16 my parents made me pay 150 to live under there roof and if i did not have a job i had rules to follow when i was 19 my parents charged me 400 for rent and then set rules as well they always told me if you live under my ruff you will obide by my rules and then i moved out. but your son is taking you for a free ride kick him out and if he keeps talking back to you kick him out he has no right talking back to you be strong and kick him out on his a@#
2007-12-21 15:27:38 · answer #7 · answered by playergirljustice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is a 26 year old son living rent free with his mother, taking her property ( that obviously had sentimental value to you) and giving it away? Because Mommy lets him. Do both yourself and your son a big favor, kick this thieven a--hole
out. He sounds like he needs to grow up and he needs to learn responsibility. It also sounds like he verbally abuses you , so he needs to learn respect also,respect for you and for himself.
2007-12-21 15:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. SPHIL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank him for thinking it was a lovely present for someone and made beautifully but it was still yours. Simply say I put a lot of time and effort into that piece and kept it for my own. Ask him to please return it as soon as possible and next time ask you before he gives YOUR things away.....Tell him in the real world this it the proper thing to do.
2007-12-21 15:44:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to cut the cord, and change the locks. If he can't appreciate the sacrifices you've made for him and respect your boundary's then he needs to learn what the rest of the world is like.
2007-12-21 15:25:22 · answer #10 · answered by Paul B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋