A family member is self distructing and we don't know what to do. We have been dealing with this for years but it seems like the last few weeks have been really bad. We have tried talking to him and it doesn't work. He hangs up or tones out. He is doing very stupid and childish things like talking about removing the dishwasher so the roommates can't use it. Or he has taken the fuses out of the box to cut the power in one area of the house. These are just some of the things done..I could go on. He is in his thirties, single, renting an apartment which he shares with a couple and one other. He quit he job because he felt like he was not being paid enough (he was ...my hubby works there as well). He doesn't drive and relies on my hubby or his roommate to drive him to work. He refuses to take a bus to work. He blames every1 for his problems such as telling his roommate it's his fault that he has no money to buy gifts..he thought the roommate would quit as well. What do we do as his family
2007-12-21 15:01:10 · 6 answers · asked by queenbee 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How are we enabling him???
2007-12-21 15:12:42 · update #1
He is being a child, you all need to stop treating him like a child. He is old enough to catch a bus. If he insists on treating his friends that way he does not deserve them. Let the job go to someone who appreciates it.
You may want to help but this guy sounds like an absolute jerk who is only acting this way because everyone has let him his whole life.
As his family, it is time to let him grow up and hopefully into a decent human being.
2007-12-21 15:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should start by allowing him to do more for himself. Maybe it's time for him to start taking the bus. The biggies - DO NOT give or loan him money. Most likely he has gotten money from someone all of his life which is probably why he is in the position he is in. I think that the "concern" and attention he gets from acting like this only adds to his enjoyment of his own drama.
Continue to try to call him, but be less persistant and call less than normal. Using words like "self destructing" is dramatic and goes right along with his behavior. If he is truly falling apart, get him psychiatric treatment. However, if he is playing everyone, let him know that you are there for him and then back off and let him take care of his 30+ year old self.
2007-12-21 23:35:03 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a mess but until he threatens to hurt himself right now as usual hes playing games and guess what he has people to take of him so why should he work he hasn't hit rock bottom yet hes also very lazy so family stop taking care of him you can not get him help because he doesn't want help and he has to learn that he is not always going to have someone bail him out and tough love is hell for your family so have a family meeting and have this guy attending and then see what happens or ask any pastor or therapist for advice
2007-12-21 23:08:14 · answer #3 · answered by dreamweaver 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can try to get him evaluated by a mental health clinic but frankly you probably can't do a thing.
2007-12-21 23:06:16 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a grown man. he can do as he wishes.
stop enabling him!!!
leave him to his own devices. he can sink or swim as he sees fit.
2007-12-21 23:10:09 · answer #5 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
consult a psychiatrist.....
2007-12-21 23:08:03 · answer #6 · answered by suryakoduri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋