Whos right and whos wrong? My mother or my father?

Question

This year for christmas my mother, father, and I were gonna go to see my fathers side of the family. So far nobody has planned anything to do with my mothers mother (my grandmother) who lives next door to me. My grandma has 4 kids. None of them have invited her yet for christmas. Shes a sweet lady not hard to get along with by any means. My father took it upon himself to ask his brother (my uncle) if theres room for one more person, my grandmother. Now my Mom is pissed that my father did that without talking to her about it first. Usually im taking my moms side when they argue and she never tells me to mind my own business but now suddenly when i agree with him she tells me to go away. She said to me i have 3 other siblings. why doesnt she call one of them? why do i have to be responsible for her? She's pissed at my father for calling his brother and asking him without talking to my mother about it first.

A couple of days ago i told my father i dont want my grandmother spending christmas alone. If they didnt have room at the house to sleep over then i wouldnt go and let my grandmother take my place. Now my mom is mad at both of me and my father.

my mother has no problems AT ALL with my gramother (her mother). they are the best of friends.

Answer 1

Your dad is right. I think it was nice of him to ask your uncle if she could come along.

Answer 2

Neither one of your parents are right or wrong. Your father probably doesn't want his mother in law to be alone this Christmas. Your mother probably has a bad relationship with her mother and would of liked her husband to consult her about her mother's invitation. Your mother and father both have different types of problems. Some families don't get along well, so they avoid another and don't talk to each other. You should leave the situation alone, so that you don't have to be responsible for anything. They should see eachother's faults. Technically, they have make a compromise and understand eachother's feelings, so then they'll be able to get over it and laugh about it in the future.

Since your mother and your grandmother are best of friends ask your mother why she has problems with your grandmother coming. She shouldn't be mad at you since you set an example to help your grandma.

Answer 3

I doubt those are all the facts. The way you put it, it makes it sound like your dad is right.

Is your mom fighting or annoyed at her mother? I mean it's not a major decision, but a healthy marriage is based on communication, and it doesn't sound like there was an ugent need for that decision to be made. The right thing for your father to do would be to tell your mother that he doesn't want her mom to spend Xmas alone and since none of her siblings are inviting her, he wants to invite her.

If your mom is fighting with your grandmother, you dad just put her in a REAL bas position.

Answer 4

If your grandmother was left behind and became ill or died, I am sure your mother would deeply regret not bringing her along for one last Christmas. I think your Father is correct.

It is Christmas, a time for family, love, caring and giving. We take for granted the time we have together and can easily assume we have tomorrow. Then when something happens and tomorrow is here and that person is no longer with us. We mourn the loss and regret what we should have done.

I hope this is something your mother won't regret..

Answer 5

You're Dad sounds like a good bloke. Christmas is the time for forgiving and being generous. Remind you're mother about the reason for Christmas.
Whatever issues she has with your grandma she needs to deal with and get over. There is nothing worse than family disharmony at Christmas.

Answer 6

I think you should bring your other Gram along ....It's the right thing to do. No one should spend Christmas alone. Tell your Mom you will take care of Gram as one never knows if this could be her last Christmas. As for your Mother's anger maybe she could stay home by herself for Christmas and enjoy the solitude. You are a wonderful grandson and son as well....Good luck sweetheart...Just do the right thing. Palin

Answer 7

well seems your mom has issues over her relationship with her mother. There isn't jack you can do about it either, it's something she has to come to terms with on her own. In the meantime, she is going to be angry at the whole world be-cause it's pretty obvious she doesn't want to spend Christmas with her mom.
The remark about her siblings was revealing. She feels burdened, probably because your grandmother is next door, and the other siblings expect your mom to take care of her, and take it for granted she will. No one likes to be taken for granted. Your dad would do well to call one of your mom's siblings to arrange for grandmom to spend the holidays with one of them.

Answer 8

They aren't the best of friends if your mother has to be talked into including her mother. My question is, did you ask your grandmother how she wants to spend Christmas? Maybe she is just fine being alone.

Answer 9

I would have to side with your dad on this one. Grandma does not need to be alone. Heck, if it wasn't for her, her kids wouldn't even be here. It's really cool that you are watching out for your Grandma. I'm sure it will all work out. Asking God for help wouldn't hurt either. Merry CHRISTmas.

Answer 10

those are your little ones and you're taking a solid stand on not letting the two grandparent be on my own with them. i'm sorry that your companion's mom can't comprehend the seriousness of the placement and merely rejoice with the grandchildren with you. shifting away won't settle the placement and merely reason harder thoughts, desire your husband can communicate to his mom and in line with risk she would be in a place to soften her coronary heart for the sake of the kin.