My boyfriend goes over the top when he buys presents for me, and I can't compete with him because I don't make as much money. For example, on my birthday, we had been dating for 2-2.5 months and he bought me a $1,300 bag. He didn't tell me how much he paid for it I just knew because I wanted that bag for a long time. I thought that was too much money to spend on someone you've been dating for less than 3 months but I just thanked him anyway.
I know that for Christmas, he's going to be over the top again, and I'm not sure if he'll like my gifts. He SAYS that he loves them but it's sooo hard shopping for a guy. He likes photography so I bought him a camera that he wanted. And I'm a painter/artist so I made him a painting. I give my friends drawings/paintings as presents sometimes and they seem to love them, so I don't think I could go wrong with that.
2007-12-21 13:42:24 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's the thought that counts. It was his choice to buy you a gift that is expensive and it was your choice to buy him a gift that you think he will like.
2007-12-21 13:46:03 · answer #1 · answered by scotch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't care about how much you spend. Chances are, we will just throw it to the side and not look at it twice.
What we do care is the thought you put into it. In guys eyes, at least in my point of view, stuff we can buy ourself. We love ourself enough to buy it if we think we need it in any way or form. What we can't buy is your love and thoughtfulness.
What can you get a guy that has everything....? Your love and time.
Honestly.
Sorry, I did not read your question carefully. I thought you and him have been dating for 2 years and 2.5 months. If you only dating him for 3 months, a $1,300 gift is a bit weird. Unless he is rich, I mean making 100,000 a year, giving you that expensive gift is not a good sign.
He might be a fanatic where it's all or nothing. Be careful. It's a sign.
2007-12-21 13:49:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not in a competition, you're in a relationship. I suspect he gets a lot of joy out of giving you things that you really want. Is the issue that you feel guilty, not guilty, but obligated. Like if things weren't going well, and you thought about breaking up, you might have these pangs of "he's given me so much, how can I just walk away". In a way, this type of thing can make you feel trapped, trapped out of obligation. Is that what bothers you about the gifts?
I am sure that he doesn't feel that you are obligated in any way. He likes to give you nice things - nice things that he knows you would like. He apparently can afford them.
I'm sure he would treasure a painting more than anything you could buy. He probably feels inadequate that he can only give you material things - that he doesn't have the talent to make you something special, like a painting. He may well go over the top because he doesn't feel that his gifts are as nice as yours.
2007-12-21 14:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by Damocles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you're right. That *is* a lot of money to spend after only dating for 2-2.5 months, but maybe he just likes to use his money to buy really nice gifts for you.
In any case, as long as he's not really materialistic then I'm sure he'll love whatever you give him simply because it came from you--even if its a rock, lol. The presents you got him sound great. Besides, it's not about how much money you spent...it's the thought that counts, right?
2007-12-21 13:52:29 · answer #4 · answered by Sparklemoon14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He buys you expensive presents because he feels like nothing is good enough for you. That is easy to do when you can actually afford those type of presents. But it is true. A man that really loves you (as he obviously does) will be happy with whatever you give him because it came from you. Sounds like you are on the right track. Buying him things that relate to his interest show that you know what he likes and that will be more meaningful to him than some really pricey item whose only quality is that it was expensive. Besides, he knows you dont make as much as he does and he would probably not be happy knowing you are getting yourself in debt to match his gifts value.
2007-12-21 13:49:51 · answer #5 · answered by disneyredgirls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well "they" say its better to give than receive, but there is no advice on giving.Over a long long period of time I have drawer and cupboards full of "nice " presents from people most of which I have no use for except to pass on as presents to charities and other people.If you were to ask me what I wanted for Christmas the answer would be a Lamborghini,but I don't think there is much chance of me getting one other than that there is nothing much I want or need. So don't worry about what , Its the thought that counts.
2007-12-21 13:59:08 · answer #6 · answered by madnob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first i have to say...when your boyfriend bought you a bag for $1,300 for your birthday and he's only known you for about 2 months...you are either rocking his world or he's CRAZY!!!...LOL! just kidding. i sure wouldnt do something like that though! at least not for a while longer. he must really like you!!! as far as you buying him a camera that he wanted, that was a good idea. and the painting...i think it is also a great idea! if he complains...kick him to the curb because all he cares about is material things and himself. also he doesnt understand your trying to keep within your budget. you could also get him a gift card to one of his favorite stores or maybe a giftcard to a bookstore if he likes to read. or even fix him a nice romantic dinner. either way, i'm sure he's gonna love your gifts.........from a very happy married man!....goodluck!!!
2007-12-21 13:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by Todd B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to topping the other's gift or having the "best" gift is getting something that you know they really love. If they are very impressed and happy about your gift, then your job is done. It's not about how much money you spent on his gift. They will be happy that you gave them something that love or have always wanted because it shows you have done a lot of research knowing about them and it means you are very thoughtful and considerate.
2007-12-21 13:51:33 · answer #8 · answered by =P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont have to spend alot of money or try to compete with his gifts just give him something that meens alot to him and is personalized like the paintings you where talking about get creative and give him something that he wont ever forget, you could even make it into a game since he likes photography set up a scavenger hunt for him, give him a list that has diff things he has to take pictures of (they could even be stuff that involves your relasionship like the place you met or had your first kiss ect) and at the end be there with another gift like the painting.... just an idea but only you really know your man and im sure he will love anything you get for him
2007-12-21 13:50:55 · answer #9 · answered by jewels22_09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me it is not about the price of the gift, it is about the meaning of the gift. I tend to get extravagant gifts for my one and only but no more than I can afford... I have given artwork that I have made to friends and I know that they love them and appreciate them because people that I have lost touch with and found via myspace, still have them.
If he doesn't like what you give him, cut him off totally for about two weeks. Don't call, don't have him come over, God, don't have sex with the guy and see where you wind up with him.
You could give him a meaningless gift. You could give him something that means a lot to you to give to him. Those are the gifts that make the difference.
2007-12-21 13:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by cat lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should not matter how much it costs at all. But I feel your delimia. I'm trying to shop for my BF, and he wants to get me stuff, but I have no clue what to give him. He cares for me so much so he's trying really hard to measure up to "my standards" which is a bunch of baloney but the whole point is it dosn't matter. It's the though of you going out, trying hard to show you care and adore him. Good luck! ~! ;)
2007-12-21 13:53:10 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋