My step daughter has been causing problems before and after I came into her mother's life. We've tried everything we can do to work with her, but she still refuses to accept responsiblities for her actions and doesn't recognize her and other peoples boundaries.
Her father isn't helping at all. When we tried to assign her a task like taking out the trash everyday, her father says that isn't her job in our household. Tonight she tried to manipulate her mother in getting her nails done. She stated earlier that she wasn't going to spend Christmas with her mother just to hurt her feelings is she couldn't get her nails done tonight.
This child is out of control & continues to push my boundaries by making unpleasant remarks to me when her mother isn't present just to get on my bad side. I do not wish to leave my wife since we have a daughter together.
My wife suggested putting her in a home for trouble kids. Is this possible & will there be expenses involved with it?
2007-12-21 12:00:43 · 6 answers · asked by rascoe627 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You cannot do that without the consent of BOTH parents. And you shouldn't either. I have 2 step daughters, one was like yours is now. We took her to a counselor and did family counseling as well as individual counseling. She has made such great progress and she is getting better every day. Please try counseling because sending a child away will never solve anything.
2007-12-21 12:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by TLS (Caitlin is coming! 5/15/08) 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Both parents need to consent to something like that, specially if they are divorced. She sounds like she's trying to vie for attention at every cost. Your wife and yourself should sit down with her and should ask her why she feels she needs to do these things. Reinforce your rules, but remind her that you love her, but everyone has rules they have to follow, the ones you are laying down for her are pretty normal. Sending this child away right now would be mean and cruel and only reflect in her eyes as you just trying to get rid of her, despite how much her parents might have fought before you arrived, she might see you as the reason they never got back together. You have no idea what is going on in her head, and you need to talk to her first.
And most "troubled kids homes" are very expensive so it's doubtful you'd be able to afford sending her there on a limited income.
I'm also hoping this is in the wrong section and the child is neither a toddler or a preschooler.
2007-12-21 22:51:24 · answer #2 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl is having difficulty acepting you as a step parent. Is she used to spending a lot of time alone with her mother? Was she badly affected by her parents' divorse? Please don't put her in a home, she will only become more resentful. You are in a difficult position, but you have to see things from her point of view. Don't tell her what to do or try to be her father. She doesn't want this - she has a father. She doesn't like you, and it isn't yur fault, but it is very common. Don't take it personally. I think she should see a counsellor, and maybe you should too - just for a few tips on how t manage her.
Give her time, and don't push her. When she gets older and more mature, hopefully she will calm down.
2007-12-21 23:28:28 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your wife should contact juvenile authorities, and ask the questions. They would be the best to answer, and be able to explain your legal rights.
It might be difficult to place her in a home for troubled children without her natural fathers consent.
2007-12-21 20:11:13 · answer #4 · answered by snovak49849 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Is there anyway for her father to have custody of her so she wont be causing problems in your household? Let her dad raise her and see how she doesnt help around at his place....
I bet he will refuse to have custody because he just wanted to see his ex-wife's relationship with you failed.
2007-12-21 21:09:21 · answer #5 · answered by sxysalsa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
send her to a boot camp, home for troubled kids is for like kids whose parents dont give a crap about them.
2007-12-21 20:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋