I'm addicted to how it makes me feel?

Question

I stopped cutting for a while, about 2 months. But during that time I was even more depressed than ever. I'm what they call "clinically depressed" there's something wrong with how the chemicals for happiness are released.
But now I'm cutting again. I know it's wrong, I've heard it all before, I know I need to get help, and I have. But nothing makes me feel better.
I have no addiction history, both my parents and their family has no addictions.
I can't remember a time when I was actually happy.
I don't cut because of any reasons,or pressure, it's not something I just randomly do. I cut because it makes me feel better in a way nothing else can.
Does anyone know anything else that worked for them?
Please help me. I want to stop but I can stand not feeling anything again.

Guess I should mention that I'm a girl? Duno if that helps.

Answer 1

I never cut, but, I have been really depressed before. What worked for me was having someone close to me, be there for me and just talk to whenever I needed a lift up. I've been really depressed to the point I never wanted to leave my bed. They say when your like that to try an take your mind off of things and do stuff that you love to do. At that time, there was NOTHING that I loved to do, I hated everything. This was when I was younger, so my mother pushed me to go see a doctor. I hated it at frist, I was always thinking to myself "this lady knows nothing, she never knew me, why am I here?" but after seeing her for awhile, I realized she was only there to help me, an she really did help me ALOT. I would never concider cutting myself, but I did turn to drinking. I always wanted to be drunk, if I didn't have a drink around, I would flip out. I got help with that also. After a few month's, I started hanging out with friend's more, knowing they'd always be there for me. Then, I finally met the Love of my life who completely changed who I was, for the better. He helped me so much, word's can't even explain! I still get depressed here & there, but NOTHING like how I use to be. I thought I'd share my story with you, since your going through something similar. Try to talk to someone very close to you, friend's are always the best people (to me anyways). Also, see a doctor, they'll help you alot, just do follow up's, don't let yourself fall behind. You don't want to live your life being a cutter, it's not healthy and you don't want to die. Life has so much to offer you, try to look at the better of things. I know it's VERY hard, but you need to try, you need to want to help yourself, nobody else can help you if you don't want it. You can always e-mail me for a chat, I'll be here. Good luck & God bless!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Answer 2

I used to be like you.
I wasn't addicted to cutting, but I was in your situation.
I just had to move on completely, forget about it cold turkey (as wierd as that sounds). You have to stop living in the past and realise that the future can hold so many great things if you let it.

After a year of being practically miserable, I was just done. What was the point of living like that when I could make better for myself? Even just a different outlook can change things so much. Even if you have to fake being happy, just do it. It will help you realize how much differently life is than you see it through your eyes.

The thing that has helped me the most move on from my past has been that I started going to Church. As lame as it sounds, it is the best thing I have ever done. Becoming a Christian has just felt right to me. God's grace and love is something I will never give up for anything.

Answer 3

Cutting for many people helps release pent up feelings of despair, and can provide a physical pain that feels "good" in comparison to what they feel inside. It's a sign of depression, which you are already aware. You should be seeing a therapist to help develop new techniques for handling your internal stress. Deep breathing and concentrating on something closely can help when you feel you want to harm yourself. Find a safer activity that can replace the cutting. Exercise, call a friend, write, anything that doesn't include destroying yourself. Like any habit, it's hard to kick and you won't necessarily "want" to choose exercising or anything else over cutting when you're feeling sad, but the more you get used to NOT cutting, the easier it becomes to reject as an option.

Answer 4

Self-harming is an emotional survival strategy as a result of emotional trauma. Some people resort to this because they don't have any help from anyone to learn how to resolve the trauma. It is a way of coping. It isn't anything to be ashamed of but it isn't the best way to deal with your feelings and the trauma you have experienced (and may still be experiencing) in your life. However, it is probably the best way you know just now.

It doesn't sound as though the help you have received has been very helpful or very understanding. Counselling or psychotherapy from someone trained to work with self-harm, plus anti-depressant medication would be the best option. This would help you to work through the things that have caused you distress; which are at the root of your need to self-harm. It would also help you to learn how to deal with things in a way that you wouldn't need to self-harm any longer.

Finding a way to live which gives you opportunities to build your self-esteem and surrounding yourself with people who treat you well and respectfully helps a lot. You might look at your life right now, how it is meeting your needs, what changes you might need to make in order to be happier and more self-fulfilled.

Until you have learned a better way, please ensure that your self-harming is done in as clean and as safe a way as possible. Use a sterile instrument, cleanse the site before cutting. Ensure that you know where it is safe to cut. Avoid major blood vessels and tendons. Have absorbent towels, clean dressings and steri-strips available to dress the wound. Know when you need to go to hospital for stitches and a plan how you can get there and get home again.

You don't have to live with this, there is a better way. Get help from people who really understand what is happening for you.

Answer 5

Then you've gotten located the name of the game in being a WHOLE and COMPLETE INDIVIDUAL on this international. We come into this international unmarried and by myself, we can go away it unmarried and by myself. We are SUPPOSED to be unmarried and by myself on this existence to be unfastened from corruption as being vastly NEEDY of alternative humans! The location you're now could be the way you have been SUPPOSED to be BEFORE you get concerned with different humans searching for courting. For it is just now that you just DO NOT NEED different humans! You are eventually at a location that you'll real LOVE different humans ......asking not anything in go back! For you simply proved that you do not fairly "want" different humans to believe happiness and pleasure on this existence. You have come to fully grasp what LOVE fairly approach!

Answer 6

That's why they call it an ADDICTION - because some part of it is SO good, that you are UNABLE to stop (despite all the bad that comes with it).

As for finding an "alternative" - this is different for EVERYBODY. Some people find a cause bigger than themselves - and get their sense of happiness and worth through helping OTHERS. Some turn to things such as drugs - simply trading one addiction for another.

But regardless of which path you happen to choose - the FIRST STEP is to admit that you want to stop. And to have the WILLPOWER to ACTUALLY do so.

This is the HARDEST part - as I'm sure you know from your two month "break" - but once you get past this, the rest should follow VERY easily ;);););)

Answer 7

My friend did this a lot... while she was seeing a councillor she got her to squeeze ice cubes when she felt like cutting... when I went through this it helps because it kind of has the same numbing affect.
Please try it... it may not work for you but it's worth giving it a go.

Best wishes and Merry Christmas

Answer 8

I'm not sure but I think you feel better because your brain releases euphoria and other chemicals as a response to the pain. You may want to try masturbation or some exercises. You could also try to find a hobby that interests you. They all cause your brain to release the same chemicals that make you feel better. I hope I've helped.

Answer 9

The medicine for suffering is to stop resisting the pain and go into it.

Next time you encounter.... sadness.... I invite you to go directly into it and meet the sadness.

Answer 10

stop cutting it's bad for ya