need lots of help
2007-12-21 11:04:34 · 9 answers · asked by Mcedes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you DON'T Love him - then tell him so...
Think about it - if people HAD to stay with someone JUST because THEY loved you, there would be NO happiness in the world!
Love ONLY works if it is mutual - and there is no point in leading this poor boy on by PRETENDING that you do want to be with him. Just try not to break it to him too hard - but don't wimp out either ;);)
2007-12-21 11:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by kr_toronto 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be honest but careful with your words. Saying you want to be friends, might sound good, but it would be very hard for him to hang out with you if you were once romantic and now you're "just friends". Tell him you think the relationship needs to go a different direction and that it might be best to put some distance in your relationship. Then, do not dangle you emotions in front of him. He will be very upset and any type of call or text from you will get his hopes up. Guys grieve the loss of relationships much differently than girls. Society doesn't really give them permission to talk to their buddies about it as it's often seen as a sign of weakness. So, he will likely sit silent and hurt deeply, if he really loves you. If you are sure that you do not love him and have no intention of getting back with him, then make a clean break. Be nice, gentle to his feelings, but do not give him false hope. Also, do not flaunt any new relationships you might have with other guys in front of him. Hopefully, he's not the jealous type and will let the relationship go. If he is the clingy type and seems distraught or stalker type, then protect yourself and be careful.
A clean break with kind words is best. Don't let him hang if you don't have feelings. That hurts more in the long run. God luck!
2007-12-21 11:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by sadsack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience, I know that you're gonna want to be as nice about it as possible and that might entail saying something like "right now, i can't do it" but saying anything that dances around the fact that you dont feel the same will only confuse him and give him hope that he shouldnt have. He'll think theres a possibility that in the future you may feel differently, so he'll hold on. and thats not fair to him. My advise: be completely honest (not BRUTAL, but honest) and give him space afterward. Dont suggest being "just friends" right away because that'll only hurt him. Take some time APART and maybe ina few months you can start contact as friends.. once you've both had some time to get over it all. He obviouslly knows you well and cares about you alot so he will appreciate the honesty. This is what may allow you to be friends later on.
2007-12-21 11:25:30 · answer #3 · answered by x0xaussiechick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagine your roles were reversed.. you gave your heart and were about to get it handed back to you.
How would you want it handled?
Now wait, your job isnt over with yet.
You know what you would want, but he isnt you. Look deeper inside yourself and figure out what deep things are being served by how you would want to be broken up with. Does it protect your beauty, your sense of worth or dignity? Men dont want to be beautiful - they often would rather be strong, or have a sense of "I can do it". What are the deep things in him that correlate with those deep things in you.
Now that you know the deep things in him that need to be served, you can start asking how.
If you actually follow this then before the universe, you have earned that the boy who you give your heart to, who breaks up with you, serves you in the same way.
There are going to be misunderstandings, and tears.
This cant not hurt. It just doesnt work that way.
Next time, before you receive a boys heart, make sure you can treat it like you would want your heart treated.
2007-12-21 11:12:14 · answer #4 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make sure that you really dont want him in ur life at all anymore before you do that. then just tell him the reasons why he deserves an explanation. then just dont pick up the phone when he calls b/c it will give him hope that u 2 may still have something. its not going to be easy. good luck
2007-12-21 11:11:53 · answer #5 · answered by NAF SREWSNA OOHAY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him nicely that:
1) You need some space or "alone time"
2) That it would be best if you became 'just' friends.
3) That you need time for yourself
2007-12-21 11:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by Kapes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do it now before he go s crazy of u dont feel guilty ure doing him a favour he s wasted on u anyway
2007-12-21 11:08:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If i were you I'd just go up and tell im that you think we'd be better as friends
2007-12-21 11:07:39 · answer #8 · answered by Band_Geek LOL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for a first make it face to face
2007-12-21 11:07:19 · answer #9 · answered by amandanl95 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋