These may sound bad but the moral at the end is a good one...
I was scared at first.
It was very wide, and very long,
and it angled straight up.
I decided I had to try it once.
I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it.
It felt weird at first.
Then I got used to it.
I went up and down, and up and down on it.
I was really loving it.
Now I ride on escalators all the time.
I took my fingers and slowly,
and gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.
I licked it once, twice ... I found I couldn't stop.
I licked it faster and faster, and harder.
I began to scrape my teeth against it.
There it was, in my mouth!
All sweet and creamy.
I was done.
And I threw away the outsides of my Oreo cookies.
I squeezed it gently at first,
then a little bit harder.
There seemed to be more and more of it
I moved it towards my lips.
It was a strange and new sensation for me.
I put it in my mouth
and moved it around and around with my tongue.
The time soon came when I knew I had to spit it out.
It was quite an experience.
The 1st time I tasted toothpaste.
They were both round and firm.
There was only the slightest difference between the two.
I took one in my hand and twisted it hard.
I used my other hand to grab the other one
and twist it hard the other way.
Now there's a brighter light bulb in the living room.
It was very long, kind of thin.
I slid it between my fingers
until I got to the end of it.
I was turning it on.
It became firm in my hands,
and the end was wet.
Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip.
Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.
I knew it could be done.
I wanted to try but I didn't know if I could do it.
I called my friend.
He said he knew how to do it and would teach me.
He put his arms around me and started.
I watched nervously in the mirror.
He finally finished and pulled back slowly.
I felt relieved that it was over.
I hate neckties.
It looked warm and dark, and juicy and inviting.
I wasn't sure just what I wanted to do with it.
I carefully pulled it apart with my fingers to look into it better.
I knew how great it would be if I just started eating it.
But I decided to put ketchup on my burger.
MORAL???
It is not the word that corrupts the mind, but the mind that corrupts the word.
2007-12-21 10:55:24 · 42 answers · asked by tastybits 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Brilliant.
2007-12-22 06:49:45 · answer #1 · answered by .... 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Actually, that's not true. I mean why would you talk like that about a hose or even a burger? I think anyone with a brain would take that as a sexual way, in the way you said it. Nobody talks like that about random objects lying around.
2007-12-21 23:33:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
True! George Carlin's the master!
2007-12-21 11:14:16 · answer #3 · answered by bjparker0385 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your answers are ok, but I prefer mine!!
(Just to let you know I think my mind was in the gutter when reading them!!)
Ha, ha, ha!!
10/10 and your star is on its way!! *
2007-12-22 03:21:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You may have just turned on a few hormoney (not a word ha) guys.
2007-12-21 11:09:48 · answer #5 · answered by Cellar Door. 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
those were great, here is a quick one for you:
what word starts with an F and ends with UCK?
Firetruck
2007-12-21 17:22:16 · answer #6 · answered by Jeff C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now I'm positive that I have a dirty mind.
2007-12-21 11:13:58 · answer #7 · answered by nic0le8984 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Huh. I guess I do have a dirty mind
2007-12-21 11:56:43 · answer #8 · answered by I♥Reba 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow very very true! awesome job u get a star
2007-12-21 11:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol, hilarious, 10/10, star awarded.
2007-12-22 04:04:25 · answer #10 · answered by xyz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋