Guys n Sex - Whats the deal?!?

Question

Ok we know guys are into sex more than women"

But how does it make u feel and what do u do when u dont get it in when ur in a long term relationship.



My boyf is getting really distant with me because i havent sercum to his advances for around 2 months (when i found out he had been unfaithful). I want to repair our relationship, but the more he distances himself im even more focused on not givng him what he wants coz he doesnt deserve it - lol ..

I know it sounds awful, but im stuck....do i just give in or what?!

Thank you for all the comments. Sorry if my original detail was a little vague - by saying guys are more into "sex", i meant as a physical thing - Us women attach more emotion to sex than most guys (i think).
I do have respect for myself left and thats why i wont, i think i would probably break down if i tried out of disgust and lack of respect for myself to allow him to take something so special from me without earning it.

I think i will talk with him and see how hard he trys - This will be the decider i think - I always put in more than 50% - Its my turn to make him work for what he wants.

Thank you all - Merry Xmas and Happy 2008'S!

P.S. One final thing - ive had a massive confidence boost hearing all your comments - I can't tell ya how grateful i am for that so thank you xxx

Answer 1

My advice is to never compromise yourself to please someone else. His becoming more distant should open your eyes to his selfishness. He is not about you...just himself, otherwise he would be more sensitive to your feelings. After all...two months is hardly enough time for him to be so demanding.Holding out has revealed where he's coming from. You should feel good and proud of yourself for not giving in and finding out much later where his true interest, as well as his true character( or lack of) really lie.

Answer 2

You make a lot of assumptions in your piece which you did not have any reasons or proof for.First, how do you know that men are more into sex than women. Men may talk about it in a more open manner(something that is changing) but talk does not mean deeds.You suggest that the reason for your boyfriend's distance is because you have not had sex with him. While this is possible, it is also possible that he is withdrawing from you based on how you have been treating him because you think he cheated on you.if you have been treating him in a nasty manner, you do not expect him to draw close to you sex or no sex.While you say you want to repair your relationship, you gloat that the more he distances himself, the more you are focused on not having sex with him. This seems to imply that you are using sex as a weapon to control or reward him( he does not deserve it) and not as an expression of love and affection. There is a saying that says "what goes around comes around", plus" treat others the way you want to be treated".Think about it.

Answer 3

holy if a guy does anything with another person out side of your relationship he absolutely does not deserve you and if he is only in it for the sex he's not good enough, with my girlfreind we went for almost a whole year with out engaging in sex.

if he prooves that he loves you and prooves that he is worth it then maybe you can give in but dont be too light about this be tough be strong and dont become just a meaningless sex toy for him seeing as you said he had been unfaithful. he really doesnt seem to care much about you im sorry if that sounds harsh but if a guy is like that he dosnt deserve a relastionship with a women

Answer 4

Guys are not into sex more than women. I don't care what anyone says, but I think that women enjoy sex just as much, sometimes even more than men. Not trying to be rude, but I don't think it's right that you deprive him of sex. Especially after he's been unfaithful. that would just push him away more. I'm not saying you should have sex with him if you're not ready, but it sounds like you guys have had it before, right? If so, I think depriving im of sex is wrong. You're no longer teaching a lesson, you're holding a grudge. You two should be able to work things like that out without being immature. Hope things work out :)

Answer 5

first of all I disagree about men wanting sex more than woman. Woman just want 'other' things as well, such as knowing that the guy will come back afterwards, and not feeling like a s.lut.

To answer your question, in any other situation witholding sex is always always always extremely unhealthy for a relationship. But in this case, you are completly justified (hell, he can bring you back some kind of disease!) But dont just withold sex, withold other things like your full trust and compassion until he earns it back. If not, leave him.

Answer 6

I think that you are right for not giving him any since you found out that he was being unfaithful. He could have easliy gave you an STD or anything. Do not give him.Both of you need to sit down and talk. Let him know how you feel and why you are not giving in to his advances.

Answer 7

We feel cheated when we dont get sex.What he did was wrong and usually unforgivable.Thats a choice you have to make.Can you ever trust him again.

Answer 8

i disagree, it makes sense that youre not having sex with him, because with trust comes sex, and if you cant trust him, then how can you be so intimate with him? you need to fix these trust issues first, then go ahead and get it on.. otherwise, you need to move on to someone else you can trust.. good luck!!

Answer 9

DO NOT DO IT. He could give you aids or hiv. Wait untill you love him and are married

Answer 10

tell him not to distance himself from you. tell him to make an effort and then you will give him what he wants. tell him to prove his trustworthyness.