My fiance' and I are in our 30's, with children, on a budget, and neither of us drink. We are planning a small wedding with just light appetizers, finger foods, and cake with an open coffee, and soda bar. We also don't want to serve alcohol at all. However, several friends that I have asked about it say they would not attend a wedding where they were not given a full meal with an open bar....
Is it an expectation now when one attends a wedding that a full meal will be served with an open bar?
2007-12-21 07:10:59 · 16 answers · asked by vaughnc5920 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We are getting married at 3:45 PM on 6-7-08 (My fiance is a mathematician)
The alcohol thing is more to appease my mother. She doesn't believe in drinking as a "religious" thing, and therefore won't attend if there is alcohol.
2007-12-21 07:21:38 · update #1
Hi and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
What you are doing...a small wedding and small reception is perfect! Poo poo to anyone who says you need to have alcohol. Who says alcohol is mandatory?
The ONLY problem that I see is that to have this type of reception with light appetizers, finger foods, etc., it should start earlier in the afternoon (after lunch and before dinner). If your wedding is at 3:45, I would presume it would be about 1/2 hour. Then if you are having a receiving line (15 minutes?), so your reception would start around 4:30. That is getting into the "dinner" hour when you probably should serve more than just appetizers and finger foods. Now, this is just what some of the "experts" say....you can certainly do what you want!!
I think is sounds great! And, again, don't worry about the alcohol. If people don't want to come for that reason, then I would cross them off of the "friends" list!
2007-12-21 07:50:31 · answer #1 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are only "expected" to serve a meal when the reception occurs around meal time (12-2 pm or 6-8 pm). When it's not during those times, finger food is fine. Serving or not serving alcohol is your choice. While most weddings have it, I have been to plenty that have had no alcohol and the guests have been fine. coffe and soda is wonderful, I've even been to a wedding where the only beverages were sweet tea and water. If they won't come just because there's no alcohol and full meal, they're being stuck up and rude.
2007-12-21 08:36:49 · answer #2 · answered by Jordan D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been to several small weddings where just light refreshments and no alcohol were served. The point of accepting an invitation to someone's wedding is not what you are served or not served to eat & drink, but to wish the couple well. I myself don't drink alcohol in any form and would be delighted to find myself at a reception where people are not imbibing. Not to criticize your friends, but if anyone who out & out would say they would not attend your wedding without a full meal and open bar are pretty shabby "friends" and not interested in sharing the most important day of your life. And you have to consider your budget, too.
Hope this helps
2007-12-21 07:21:23 · answer #3 · answered by Warren 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can have the reception on a different day and have a family bar-b-que. Or serve cheap (priced like Charles Shaw its really good from Trader Joes $25 a case) and make your own labels with you and your guy or have a wine tasting and have people bring a bottle of wine and have a house drink in a punch bowl a gallon doesn't cost more that $20....
One more thing - Tell your friends they need some manners and they should bring there own dinner and drinks! What the hell do they think a wedding is? Not a soup kitchen that for sure...That is so rude.. Anywhoo! Congrats and good luck to the both of you! :0)
2007-12-21 07:20:10 · answer #4 · answered by Porsche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with everyone else. You should not have to have a bar if you do not drink. Your friends should be there to share your big day and celebrate with you, not to get trashed at a party.
I have been to plenty of weddings that have not served alcohol. The receptions are generally a little shorter, but they're still a lot of fun.
And etiquette states that you are not required to serve a full meal, as long as the wedding starts before 3. So your finger foods should be plenty.
***Edit***
If your mother has religious reasons for not having alcohol at the wedding, then you need to stick to your guns. Tell your friends they can hit up the closest bar after the reception.
2007-12-21 07:18:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think that there may be an expectation that wedding receptions include meals and an open bar. However many people are straying from that traditional idea.
I think having a wedding reception with appetizers and cake would be just fine. I also think it might be nice for you to include wine as an alcohol option for your guests. I have attended a wedding with no alcohol and it was plenty lovely.
good luck and congratulations!
2007-12-21 07:16:54 · answer #6 · answered by smarty pants 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is custom to provide a meal for a full size wedding. The meal is really in exchange for the gift they have brought for you. As far as open bar is concerned, absolutely not. I would recommend maybe having open draft beer, pop and coffee, but certainly not hard liquor. If you are having and early morning wedding, I would suggest maybe a light lunch. If you are having an afternoon wedding, then I would suggest going with a dinner of some kind. You can find cheap ways to provide a large meal. I had mine done very cheap and it was wonderful. Hope this helps.
2007-12-21 07:15:49 · answer #7 · answered by renees622 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all it is your choice. I did not have alchol at my wedding because I can't drink and I was having recovered alcholics at my wedding and if people dont like it tough.
and it people are not going to attend a wedding because things are not thier way that is thier problem NOT yours. do what you feel is right stay on a budget the guests are not going to pay for your wedding stand by your convictions and dont back dont to make a small majority happy. You dont need to have alchol to have a good time and I am proud of you for being on a budget. Stick to your plan. e4g
2007-12-21 07:59:51 · answer #8 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been to plenty of weddings that did not serve alcohol--for both religious, personal preference, and children reasons.
As a guest, it is already a honor to be invited. Who said they have a RIGHT to alcohol? Who goes to a wedding for the sake of drinking anyway? How juvenile is that?!?!?
Stick to your budgets and honor your mom's wishes for not having drinks. If those guests don't come simply because of alcohol, let them stay home...because they quite frankly don't care about you enough.
2007-12-21 07:40:06 · answer #9 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dry weddings stink, IMO. People really do expect there to be alcohol, and enough food that you don't feel like you have to go get dinner afterwards.
My husband and I were on an extremely tight budget back in the day and we had a 7 pm wedding with a reception.
What you are eating isnt on the invitation so you have a while to decide.
I would at the very least have a champagne toast and another glass or so available.
2007-12-21 07:25:05 · answer #10 · answered by Lilly 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋