I work for a small law firm. One of our clients decided to bring a catered gourmet lunch for our firm to thank us for the good job we did on their case. I have worked at this law firm for almost 2 years, so everyone knows a. I'm vegetarian and b. I'm 20 weeks pregnant.
The catered lunch consisted of beef, chicken casserole, tuna tartar (raw tuna), spinach salad with bleu cheese (pregnant women aren't supposed to eat unpasteurized cheeses such as bleu cheese) and rolls. I whispered to a coworker that I felt uncomfortable not eating while everyone else was (I didn't want to seem rude or ungrateful) and she said I should just step out quietly and go to lunch elsewhere. After thinking about it for a minute (everyone else was milling around and talking, no one had sat down at the table yet) I decided to make a quiet exit like she suggested. When I came back, no one was upset with me for leaving the lunch, but I still feel a little embarrassed.
What would you have done?
2007-12-21 06:20:58 · 23 answers · asked by Kiwi 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Kaliman, it had bleu cheese mixed in with the salad. I do regret that I missed the company of everyone at the lunch though.
2007-12-21 06:26:14 · update #1
Lola, I actually did mention it to a coworker who told my boss real quick before I left. I didn't want to leave without saying anything and I also didn't want to make a big stink of it either. I hope I never find myself in this scenario again, at least not at work!
2007-12-21 06:27:35 · update #2
Santa Baby - to answer your questions - I eat lots of pasta, cheese, vegetables, and just in general whatever my body tells me to eat. I take a vitamin. I am healthy and my son and this new baby are healthy as well. I don't eat nuts much, but like I said I try to eat a healthy diet and if I crave something, I try to listen to my body and eat that. I never have been a big meat eater, so that helps me a lot.
2007-12-21 06:45:45 · update #3
Don't worry about it.
I often skip out on work-luncheons because the food isn't appealing to me. People rarely ask me why I'm not sticking around, but when they do, I just smile and say that I have errands to run during my lunch break.
If someone does decide to ask you why you didn't eat lunch with the gang, answer honestly and tell them the same thing you told us - the food just wasn't for you.
I bet that in a week or two, no one will even be talking about the luncheon you missed out on.
If it keeps bothering you, offer to take them out to lunch at one of your favorite vegetarian restaurants.
2007-12-21 11:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by kaytee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have done the exact same thing, only I wouldn't have felt the least bit embarrassed by it! I'm lactose intolerant, I have acid reflux and can't have caffeine, so it makes guessing what to feed me a real challenge for some. I don't usually get mad in these situations, either, unless it's a close friend or family member who made the oversite, just because they're supposed to know better and I make sure to look out for their dietary needs. You were in a spot where the only thing you could do was go get yourself something else. No one should expect you to go against your principals and eat meat (although I have dealt with people who call themselves vegetarians but think that it's okay for them to eat fish, like that's not meat), or make you or your baby sick by eating the blue cheese (although I worked in a shelter for pregnant women for two years and never heard that one), so you had to go get something you could eat. Hopefully, next time, they'll put a little more thought into it.
2007-12-21 06:52:55 · answer #2 · answered by bainaashanti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You handled it perfectly. Why are you embarrassed? The only thing I might have done differently is done a little discreet detective work on the menu beforehand, brought a vegetarian lunch into the office that day when it became obvious they didn't have any food I could eat, and then joined everyone for the meal with my own lunch. That way, you could have still enjoyed the festivities while staying true to your dietary standards.
Other than that, though, you couldn't have handled it any better. Best wishes with your pregnancy!
2007-12-21 07:06:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate it when that happens! lol.
I'm a vegetarian as well and it seems that despite the fact that everyone knows that, luncheons and potlucks ALWAYS lack a meatless dish.
I would have done the same thing....just quietly excused myself in search of food that is more conducive to my lifestyle. If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be the lady who brought in the food and the other staff at your office- not you. To have one person out of the whole lot who isn't eating really should have made the others uncomfortable. (Maybe that's just me....but I hate seeing one person not partaking and everyone else in the room mowing down. It literally makes me sad).
You did the right thing. What else were you supposed to do? Starve? Nah. All's well. Don't worry about it!
Merry Christmas!
2007-12-21 08:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by YSIC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would have done exactly what you did.. you handled it in a well-mannered, non-fussy way, and stepping out so no one noticed was the polite way to go. I must ask though.. as a vegetarian, is it difficult trying to make sure you get enough protein for the baby? What are you eating in place of meats? Nuts are also not supposed to be consumed heavily due to allergies in infants.. so I am just curious what you are eating. Best Wishes!
2007-12-21 06:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by Cupid 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your co-worker gave you a good get out and your diet and pregnancy really put you in a hard place. The lunch was a lovely offer and people don't often think to cover all bases such as vegetarians/ vegans and pregnancies. Don't feel bad at all, you have to eat for yours and babies health. I would have probably done the same as you and made a quiet exit.
2007-12-21 06:28:21 · answer #6 · answered by scragatag 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I probably would have done the same thing, and would have told my boss and a coworker that I was friendly with what was going on, that way no one thinks you just disappeared and someone can mention it to others who ask where you are. I'm sure no one would blame you at all, and it would have been awkward to sit and watch everyone else eat! I would still feel a little uncomfortable though, so I understand what you are saying!
2007-12-21 06:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by Lola 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would've done the same thing. I can relate to your situation because I don't eat dinner. Therefore, whenever someone has invited me out to dinner (whether it's for work or personal - with friends), I've had to decline because I feel that everyone would think something was wrong with me if I just sat at the table with a drink while everyone else is eating.
2007-12-21 06:26:28 · answer #8 · answered by ♪♫ ßr0wn Eyǝd G!rl ツ ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did what was best for you but maybe you should have eaten dessert or a roll and chatted for a few minutes. The good thing you didn't do however was stay and explain why you didn't eat. That may have made the folks feel a little bad. So, in general, you did the proper thing.
I like your picture by the way. You are cute.
2007-12-21 06:25:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I'm invited to a party and the food is not my taste/style,I will stay and find something to munch on. Also when I was pregnant I always kept a little something in my purse just in case.
As always, write a very nice note to your client thanking them for a delicious lunch and wishing them a wonderful holiday season.
2007-12-21 06:28:25 · answer #10 · answered by Advantage-ME 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋