I need help with this roommate etiquette. There are three of us living together. I am hardly ever home (work and school full time). My roommates are always home and using the dishes and leaving them in the sink. I maybe use one bowl and a couple spoons and forks for each batch of dirty dishes that goes in the dishwasher. My roommate asked me to do the dishes because she and the other girl do them all the time. I said I don't mind helping them, but they are not my dirty dishes. Plus, I have done them before when they asked and I had done them last (when they weren't mine either). I don't understand why they expect me to do the dishes when they aren't my mess. Am I missing something or should I help out more to be "polite"? Oh, and they wouldn't have any dishes or silverware if it weren't for me anyways--all of the stuff is mine. Am I in the wrong for saying no? Thanks!
2007-12-21 05:29:15 · 10 answers · asked by Jess 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Sounds like they are going to continue to have you clean their messes because you've been nice enough to do it.
Yes, I'd consider using plastic and paperware for awhile, or just not eat at home period. When they ask you to clean the dishes, say, "I can vacuum if you'd like, since I walk on this carpet, but I'm not scrubbing the beans off your plate!" Smile about it. Even slap their shoulder. But truly, I'd offer another chore in place of dishes.
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2007-12-21 05:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by twowords 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There could be a roommate forum where basic rules are set down, just an informal chat session--where things are aired. But it sounds like you have some slobs for roomies, and they are taking advantage of you. I know my kids have run into that situation, and eventually moved out when everything they tried did not work: signs that said "Clean up after yourself, I am not your mother", to cleaning up the whole thing regularly cause they could not stand the mess, to using disposable silverware, to not using the kitchen at all and eating out. But then you pay for the privelege of using YOUR kitchen too, so its a shame it becomes a pig pen and it becomes unusable.
Your silverware, etc may have be stored with your parents, and if there is no improvement, just keep your own silver and dishes in your own room. But then there are probably pots and pans that have been stacked up as well.....YOu probably need to have roommates that are equally responsible like you are, and who have the same values, ie cleanliness and wanting a kitchen you can use. So unfortunately, if they do not hear you and respect your wishes when you have a sit down talk---you may have to part ways.
Good luck, and for future roommates, interview well, and see their current living situation!
Merry Christmas to you!
2007-12-21 05:42:35 · answer #2 · answered by Jeanne babe 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had the same problem!!! I'm kind of a neat freak, well maybe not all of the time, but I do like my house clean! I used to clean the entire apartment while my roommate and her boyfriend would watch TV and dirty the dishes. Her dog would poop on the floor and I would be the one up at 8 to let her out and then clean up the poo! Sorry to say that I got FED up with it and explained to her my problems. She started to help more, but her boyfriend never helped out! He practically lived there! Anyway, I ended up moving out due to some other issues, I think I waited too long before telling her! Don't let it get so bad that you can't STAND them! Talk to them, just explain it! Good luck!
2007-12-21 07:19:07 · answer #3 · answered by Ace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jess, you sound like a nice person. All the dishes and ware you just stated are YOURS, and they ask you to do THEIR dirty dishes.
Sounds like you are giving in. Don't be pushed around like that, girl. First of all yes, wash all your dishes and your stuff even if they use it for the first and last time. BOX all of this up and put in your room. Voila, when your friend Eunice goes to the cupboard for a bowl, all the dishes are gone, not in the sink but in your box! Ha. Just use your own dishes and wash and put them away in your box.
I guarantee this will make them buy their own, and then have consideration to wash their own.
2007-12-21 05:45:10 · answer #4 · answered by Born Valentine's Day 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Buy your own dishes and keep them in your room . . . and whatever other dirty dishes are left in the kitchen for more than a few days throw them into a part of the house that's not used very often.
2015-09-02 17:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by Albatross 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would not be wrong for saying no every once in awhile, the reason why they are treating you like this is because you let them, put your foot down and stand up for yourself, don't be a victim of your roommates laziness, as a matter of fact start investing into disposable dishes such as paper plates, by your own personal cup and keep then in your room, and wash your own dishes as you cook whenever you do, and say no to them every time they let dishes stack up and they bother washing them, don't let them push you around, tell them that they need to start taking responsibility as its just as much their place as its yours and it doesn't hurt for them to help out in maintaining the apartment, DO NOT FEEL ANY SYMPATHY FOR THEM, THEY DON'T DESERVE IT.
2007-12-21 05:41:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make a list of all the household chores and divide them up. Either always do your chores or you can rotate weekly or monthly, just keep a list of whose turn to do what. If someone doesn't do their chore, set a dollar amount for doing it for them. If you don't like this idea, Hide your dishes so they can't get them dirty. Tell them to buy paper/plastic to eat with.
2007-12-21 06:16:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is what I'd do I'd go and buy me some paper plates and plastic wear and use them and let the other fend for themselves,if their old enough to make the mess then they are old enough to clean the mess.don't you do any more dishes you let them do them,and go on with your stuff.
2007-12-21 05:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i say your are right. i would pack up all my dishes,silverware, pots & pans and put them in storage. let them buy there own. then tell them that you were nice enough to let them use your dishes, but if they r not mature enough to clean them when they use them they are not mature enough to use them.
here's another thought if each one of washed your own item as soon as you were done their wouldn't be any dishes to wash.
2007-12-21 05:41:22 · answer #9 · answered by wikkedmomma33 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
tell them that they need to clean there dishes and you clean yours they need to say please can you clean for me or something
2007-12-21 05:39:02 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica s 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋