If you parent the same way as your parents, did they parent the same way as theirs?

Question

Similar to my last question, I know, but not exactly :-)

So, assuming your parents did a fine job with you or, good enough, anyway - do you parent the same way that they did? If not, why?

And, did they parent the same way as their parents? If not, why?

I'm thinking that part of the evolution of parenting comes when two parents from different backgrounds & parenting styles come together to start a new family and have to, then, come to an agreement on how to do things as they parent. But, I would think that parenting styles would be discussed pre-marriage and, for some, even be a non-negotiable deal-breaker in deciding to marry. That like would gravitate toward like.

Answer 1

My parents did not, they believed in conditional loving you and b/c I was the girl in the family and not a boy I was stereotypically typecasted and not in a good way. Even to the ridiculous point of not getting an equal slice of pie b/c I was girl and shouldn't need as much as a boy!

I parent the exact opposite of my parents and so far, I believe I'm doing a great job parenting. My daughter's teacher has pulled me aside to comment on my parenting styles and my kids get a lot of compliments about themselves and that I'm a good mommy. '

My grandparents were stricter b/c that was the way back then, there's room for change in all of us and i check myself often to ensure that I am being the best parent I can be, at times to the point of being overcompensating for my parents errors but I have great kids and I love them and want to be the best for them so I don't screw them up like I am.

Answer 2

I try to emulate what was good about the way I was brought up, and to not repeat what I found oppressive. I'm not sure that I succeed. As for agreeing beforehand on parenting styles - I never explicitly discussed this with my wife, but we knew each other so well that we could be quite certain that we wouldn't disagree as to the general direction. Also, there has never been a grand strategy, just day-to-day tactical decisions.

Answer 3

I think that in the past people parented more like their ancestors than we do today for a couple of reasons:

1) The world wasn't as global--people tended to stick closer to home and marry people more like their parents, and also to involve their parents (the grandparents) in child raising, so things got more passed down from one generation to the next and traditions were common and accepted. Today, people marry people from vastly different regions, cultures, backgrounds, and are often separated from their families and have to parent on their own. So while they may in some ways parent as they were raised, they often have to figure things out more on their own, as well as compromise with their mate & family when there is a culture clash.

2) The availability of information on parenting from other sources such as TV, internet, books, etc. We have so much more to draw from besides our own experience and our parents' advice. This can be both good and bad; maybe we can "break the cycle" of bad parenting in our past, or maybe we don't use the wisdom and positive traditions of our parents nearly enough!

3) Just the difference in the world today. While old-fashioned values and morals shouldn't change, society does. Technology and other modern conveniences bring changes in lifestyle that create parenting situations our parents never had to deal with, while the pressures and spiritual and moral decline in our society provide a handy excuse sometimes to compromise from the way we were raised! I think it is much harder to parent today than it used to be, because we as parents are competing with so many other voices from the world that are influencing our kids, and not always in a good way.

Hope that makes sense, and Merry Christmas!

Answer 4

I am not a father yet and won't be until I am married and at least 24 years old. I will be parenting like my parents did and raise my children with strong values and love. I will let them read a lot of books and expand their horizons so that they can know about just every important topic. I was raised in a quiet two parent home and never been hit by either parent.

It was not so with my father though. He was never hit by his own father who spent most of his life working as an engineer in Minnesota while the rest of the family lived in Jamaica. But my Grandma used to occasionally hit her children if they did wrong--and Only if they did something displeasing.

My Dad received physical punishment from age 7 to 11 from Grandma. Before his weight gain Grandma used to whack him on his butt.
At age 11 Dad would overeat like crazy at his aunt's restaurant, at school and at home where there was lots of food so that he soon gained an immensely huge belly like someone twelve months pregnant but flabby. He also grew a little taller than his mother.
So for the time that Dad was fat and had the mega-belly Grandma says that when he did wrong she punished him by punching him in his fat belly once or twice until it jiggled and shook like jelly.
Grandma took pleasure in overfeeding him and never withheld food from him.

Grandma ensured that Dad excelled in school and sat around the table with him in the evenings when he did his homework.

My mom came from a moderately strict family and was lightly spanked between ages 7 to 10 very rarely. She was not allowed to date until she was 17 years old. Like my Dad, Mom was an excellent student right through College.

Answer 5

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So I think we tend to try and take the good parts of our parents parenting style to use and try and leave their mistakes behind. Most people then also develop their own style as well.
So I would say I have some of my parents style and they had some of their parents style.

Answer 6

i'm fairly much 17 and as of at the instant I even have been talking decrease back lots, yet i've got not disobeyed them. I admire my mom lots, yet my dad purely annoys me {meaning he i do no longer supply him the honour I often could}. of course I view my mom and father as a some distance better parent of authority in any different case i could disobey them each and every of the time. I keep on with their policies and what they ask of me, purely with some sass.

Answer 7

Yes, parenting styles are passed from generation to generation.

Answer 8

that can only be answered properly by them as far as me I try to raise my son in the same manners I was but I know my grand father raised my father differently than mine did me.