It just a rumor that started way back in my high school days so I dont know how much water it holds. However I do know they were intimate and it might be true...a lot of people know the rumor. I havent been going out with her long enough to ask such a personal question and I dont think it will go over very well if I ask her to get tested before we do anything together...what do I do here? Just avoid the situation and dump her or what?
2007-12-21 04:31:45 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
there are way too many girls on earth to be wrapped up in one that might have aids, dump her. this is your life we are talking about here there is nothing that could be placed ahead of that who cares what she thinks, tell her this 'go get tested'
2007-12-21 04:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by justin k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no, I most certainly would not avoid the situation-however, I don't think a rumor is worth dumping someone over. I think it would be in both of your best interests to both get tested. She certainly needs to, if only for herself! That is just the resonsible thing to do. Also, I say you should get tested as well-for two reasons: 1) she won't feel so uncomfortable with you asking such a question and 2) it is always good to know! That way you can both be in the clear!
2007-12-21 04:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask her and be honest from the get go, if she has it and shes not telling you, then thats basically murder. AIDS is one of the worst pandemics plagueing people today, most of which get it because they A. dont know they have it or B. they dont want to tell the other in fear of being rejected/dumped. THere is nothing wrong with asking her such a person question when it includes your own well-being, ignoring it simply puts you in the wrong for not doing it.
2007-12-21 04:35:46 · answer #3 · answered by billyjoeelkhorn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As was suggested, get yourself tested anyway. It's a good idea to do it regularly -- what if a former partner of yours was infected and didn't know, and you inadvertently infected your new girlfriend?
As for how to approach this -- yes, it's delicate, but I see two options. First, get on the subject of the value of testing in general. See what she thinks of regular tests (it's just like getting your PSA test or mammogram), and if she agrees emphatically, you're in luck -- if she didn't think of it before, she'll get tested on her own, because it'll be her own idea.
Second approach might be to start talking about both your exes. Not in a serious tone -- look for something humorous. Like ... do you know any rumours about people you went out with? Embarrassing ones? If you come up with a few gems, she may bring up the rumours about her ex. And if she's *aware* of the rumours, she (or they) may have investigated and dealt with them.
Better yet, do both.
2007-12-21 04:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would keep seeing her but hold off on anything intimate until you have been together long enough to talk about it. Don't accuse her, but instead maybe suggest that it would be best if you both got tested. If you want to be with her then I wouldn't dump her before you even know if she is infected...you could be missing out on a great girl for no reason.
2007-12-21 04:35:45 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you can't ask her to get tested before you have sex, you're not mature enough to have sex. This is a question everyone should ask because you're risking your health for the rest of your life. It's perfectly reasonable to talk about this rumor: since she was with him she probably knows more than you and might be able to dispel the rumor.
Everyone should be tested before you have a new sexual partner!
2007-12-21 04:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by smartsassysabrina 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you want BOTH of you to get tested before you two do anything - you don't have to say it is because you heard the rumor, just say that you think it's a good policy to keep you both healthy. Don't make it just about her, offer to get tested yourself also so that you can both have greater peace of mind.
2007-12-21 04:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age, if you don't insist she be tested before you become intimate, you are an idiot. You can suggest you both go for testing, so you can both be sure of entering into a relationship clean.
2007-12-21 04:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it is a rumor but it could still have some truth to it so I would ask her about it and see if she will get tested and if she want then you just need to break it off with her it is not worth your life :)
2007-12-21 04:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by Nish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a rumor but i wouldnt mention it to her...she should understand an get tested...just tell her that your not tryin to be rude but u want her to get tested to make sure she is safe from it an if she has it that u two can work through it...
= )
2007-12-21 04:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋