I have been dating a great guy for three months but he still won't commit. We spend every day together, talk on the phone several times a day and we spend time throughout the day together, sometimes just meeting up for coffee or something as simple as that and then see each other later that night. I want a commitment but he won't give in saying that he doesn't "jump into relationships quickly". If I am not his girlfriend then what am I? Also, he's been telling me lately about all of the women who flirt with him and I'm starting to get jealous.
By the way... I pretty hot myself and I don't understand what more he could want. I'm loving and caring and take care of myself. I'm starting to feel really insecure and depressed. Also, he frequently says things like "let's just get married" and "let's have a baby" HELP!!!
2007-12-21 04:05:53 · 12 answers · asked by Havent I learned anything yet 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
3 months of dating and you want him to commit already?? you are absolutely crazy....
there is no guy out there that will commit in 3 months...hell I am a woman and I would not want to be committed after 3 months....think about what you are expecting.....
2007-12-21 04:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by My Sharona 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy as 1-2-3:
1. Learn to accept that if he isn't ready, he isn't ready. Three months for most people is a fairly short time.
2. Don't rush him, directly or otherwise. That's the best way to turn him off at this time. When he talks about marriage or a baby chances are if he's not kidding he's testing you. Or, better yet, that's his subconscious way of getting ready to make a commitment.
3. What are you, if not a girlfriend? A friend. Be grateful. I've been married 40 years and believe me, there's nothing better than friends who become lovers.
2007-12-21 04:31:49 · answer #2 · answered by davidcmartinez@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a choice... you can either go along with this fwb. By the way are yall? Have you and him had sex yet? If so, he clearly likes you, and maybe afraid that he cannot be faithful right now, so he just maintains a relationship with you that is quasi-committed. Just in case any drama happens, he can always say that you guys were never committed.
On the other hand, maybe he just got out of a long relationship and has cold feet. Us guys always have cold feet about relationships.
I suggest you tell him how you feel. Give him about a week to think about it, then serve him with an ultimatum. Let him know that if he does not commit, you and him can still be friends, but you will start seeing other people because you want a committed relationship. Also, don't be so accessible to him. Ignore his calls, and don't meet up with him as often. Trust me, he will come around so fast!
See, we men, we like to think we got our women sowed up. The second you treat him like he doesn't matter, he will start to shower you with attention... and most likely some commitment too.
2007-12-21 04:19:33 · answer #3 · answered by ScottieBoi3000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's the rush?? If he doesn't want to commit after only 3 months, it's not the end of the world. After all, he could try to sweep you off your feet, get all involved with you and you drop him like a hot potato. Maybe he has had a bad relationship somewhere along the line. People that have been hurt tend to be sort of careful next time. (of course this doesn't mean everyone) Go with the flow, and have a good time. Besides, once a commitment is made, sometimes it changes the relationship
2007-12-21 04:15:08 · answer #4 · answered by MamaSmurf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By commitment, I assume you mean being labeled his girlfriend (becoming part of an exclusive relationship, where you're not dating others). Talk to him about it. Tell him you want to only date each other, not other people; that's the only commitment you're looking for right now. If he's not interested, find somebody who will. You can't force him into something he's not ready for.
2007-12-21 04:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too am a programmer and I know how you and he feels. Programing is like a drug habit, It is hard to explain, It is a very demanding challenge. To produce code that does exactly what is called for is a real rush. You acually dream code when you are sleeping and will get up in the middle of the night and write it out! I know this sounds stupid, but it is a fact! If you really love this guy, then tell him so, If not then just remain friends and get on with your life.
2016-03-16 04:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably just liking your friendship. Sometimes people just don't want a relationship with you and there's no real reason even if it would seem to be perfect.
2007-12-21 04:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by Terry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you like this guy but don't get desperate..3 months is nothing. Keep hanging out so you can learn more about each other. He could be crazy..deranged
2007-12-21 04:16:09 · answer #8 · answered by "B" Bop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three months is not a long time at all..so yeah that would be considered quick. Just continue dating him.. and why arent you dating anyone else? Leave your options open.. that commitment will come..if not from him..then someone else.
2007-12-21 05:28:57 · answer #9 · answered by nikcacia3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill Out!!! your looks don't get you commitment. you want too much too early. stop trying to move so fast and let it happen if it's going to happen. forcing it will cause failure
2007-12-21 04:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by puffy2step 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋