Why do they say things like "I want to marry you" and then say things like "when I finish school (college)" or when we are more stable... I mean we have already started making plans- without the formal engagement- so how do I know if he really wants to get married?
2007-12-21 03:45:27 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am happy with him and I am in no big rush, I will wait as long as it takes- I was just curious.
2007-12-21 03:58:51 · update #1
They want to enjoy their younger years still, hanging out with friends, e.t.c. Commitment is a big self sacrifice.
2007-12-21 03:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think a lot of guys have the mentality that they have to be able to provide for their wife/family. so in that case it makes a lot of sense for a guy to want to be done with college and have a decent job and be financially stable. I think it's much more mature and responsible to wait until you are financially ready to get married. things are too unsure while you are still in school to be entering into marriage.
but, if he is financially stable and all that and still wants to wait, maybe he's just not ready for the commitment.
2007-12-21 12:12:31 · answer #2 · answered by not margaret 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, my personal opinion is that if he really wants to get married, he will. "Intentions" of marrying you are completely different, since they come with stipulations. As long as his reasons seem to be because he wants your relationship to be strong before you get married, you don't really have anything to worry about. Now if he's just buying time to extend his "single status" or for any other selfish reason, I wouldn't get my hopes up for a proposal anytime soon.
My fiance made it very clear when he was ready to get married & basically said he was just waiting on me to be ready. However he is 4 years older than me so he was more concerned with marriage at the time than I was.
2007-12-21 14:36:31 · answer #3 · answered by sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're under 25 and he's telling you he wants to marry you but is waiting until one or both graduates college and are more financially stable, he's being SMART. This generation is all "ME, ME, ME, I want this NOW" and are not satisfied until they get it.
Communication is vital to a successful relationship. Why not talk to him and ask him what his goals, his plans, his concerns, or his ideas are? More importantly, find out within yourself why you feel the need to rush it along.
Marriage is a huge step, take it from me. If his main reason is he wants more security and stability financially then be proud you're marrying someone responsible and concerned for both your financial futures.
2007-12-21 12:00:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time its because they want to make sure things in their life are stable, like finishing school, solidifying a career, moving out of their parents house, etc. I think its pretty normal to want to establish yourself as a mature and responsible adult before committing to marriage.
2007-12-21 14:28:44 · answer #5 · answered by Katie G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Finishing school and being financially stable are good reasons to wait. Sounds like a smart guy who will take the commitment seriously.
2007-12-21 11:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by Ray 3 · 9⤊ 0⤋
If they want to wait until they are more financially secure...then they're being smart, responsible adults....a kind of person you should be willing to wait for.
If it's an excuse, then quit complaining and move on already.
Just because *your* guy wants to wait doesn't mean *all* guys want to wait and doesn't mean that he's pulling your leg. It sounds like he's trying to get his crap together before he marries you, which is a very admirable thing.
If he's making plans with you, or telling you he *wants* to marry you, then he WANTS TO MARRY YOU. Men aren't too complicated.
Good luck
2007-12-21 11:58:42 · answer #7 · answered by kiki 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If he's still in school, he's just being smart. Children must have everything RIGHT NOW! An adult understands that things happen at proper times. I personally think your BF is mature enough to know that waiting for the actual right time is necessary to make sure you have a great life into the future, not just for now.
2007-12-21 11:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Because he wants to finish college first?
Because he wants to be financially stable first?
You ARE engaged. You both are making plans!
That's being engaged. Enjoy it and plan!
2007-12-21 15:10:33 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they want to have it both ways. They want to have all the rights, priviliges, and conveniences that go with having a wife without assuming the obligations, responsibilities, and inconviences of being a husband. If you let him get away with that, he'll never marry you. I'd estimate that at least 4 out of 5 marriages only happen because the woman decides she'd rather do without him than wait forever and tells him to either marry her or back off, far far off.
2007-12-21 12:03:07 · answer #10 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Its a bunch of crap. Anyone who actually can wait to get married... doesnt really want to get married. It's all fine and good that some people make plans a few years off, sometimes thats just the only way, but if you are thinking well.. lets get married in 10 years, you really dont want to marry.
2007-12-21 11:50:39 · answer #11 · answered by billgoats79 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋