If spanking is the best way to raise kids to be responsible adults and everyone used to spank?

Question

Then, what happened?

All of those kids who were spanked should, in theory, recognize that spanking is what made them into responsible adults and, therefore, should decide to responsibly spank their own children, right?

But, there are all these claims that spanking is on the decline and, therefore, bringing about moral & societal decay.

How could it be on the decline if everyone was spanked in the past and, therefore, has learned that spanking is the best way of doing things?

Are people who were spanked growing up and deciding to do things differently from their parents? Didn't the spanking in their childhoods make them respect and honor their parents?

Could it be that, in the past, *everyone* didn't spank - that spanking was just as likely or unlikely in a family then as now?

And, where do the abusive spankers fit into all of this? The parents that push it too far? Were they spanked? Abused? Not disciplined at all?

Can anyone come up with any explanations?

Answer 1

Can you say Dr. Spock? Or the nut case liberals who attempt to have spanker's arrested now-a-days. People cower to fear. People fear what researchers tell them, fear of getting in trouble. I've met many parents who literally think spanking is illegal, they wine and moan about how badly behaved their child is and say if they spank, they go to jail. This is what the anti spanking movement wants. Others who pay attention, and use their heads know spanking is still very legal (and works too)

People don't spank now as much as they use to, because spanking suddenly became very non-PC. As parents turn away from proven methods you witness society going down.

Answer 2

Well the logic is flawed by an oversimplified generalization.
There are many errors in this line of thinking... A. That all people were spanked in the past. This is nothing but an assumption and is not based on reality. In reality there are probably as many people being spanked as prior. B. That spanking turns people into respectable adults. This assumption is also not verified and cannot be accurately stated as such. Both I and my cousins were spanked by our parents... my cousins are in jail and I am not. Spanking isn't universally effective.

Spanking is regarded as a measure to use in many religions, but historically it is neither more effective nor less effective in the long run than any other type of reward/punnishment system.

Answer 3

I think a lot of issues with kids today stem from both parents often working and so there's not always someone home to be with the kids. In past generations (especially mine and before, and I'm 43) it was common for there to be a stay-at-home parent, so whether they spanked or not the kids typically got more parental attention and discipline than a lot of kids today do.

I was spanked and I didn't turn into an abusive person nor did it harm me emotionally or mentally in any way. I do not have kids of my own though but am sure if I had, spanking would've been one of the disciplinary tactics used, if lesser measures weren't successful.

There are multiple effective ways to discipline and raise kids...the key is that parents need to spend time raising their children if they want them to grow up to be decent and productive adults...otherwise they're left to caregivers that don't care as much as a parent would, the tv, computer, etc and are more likely to not learn what they need to learn to grow into fine adults (not saying it doesn't happen, but chances are greatly increased that without good parenting the kids are more likely to not be the adults their parents might wish they were).

Answer 4

Looks as though you asked about NINE questions.

WHICH question do you want answered?
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If spanking is the best way to raise kids to be responsible adults ...

BUT IS spanking the BEST way? Certainly has been one way, a very effective way. Especially in homes where parents could honestly teach their children to "do as I DO" and not just "do as I say".

The best way to raise kids to become responsible adults is to "bring them up in the nurture and teachings of the Lord".

Occasional punishment often is necessary; spanking is one form of punishment. It can be a way of quickly getting a message to a kid's brain [via the butt].

And a hundred years or so ago, there were many fewer ways to punish a kid. No car, no i-pod, no computer, no television, no radio, etc., etc. Basically, there was the razor strop or the belt, and there was the kid's butt. Every kid had a butt; most homes had a strap or belt. What more was needed.

Now there are so many more methods. However, many kids can still well understand the meaning of a thoroughly well-warmed butt. Quickly gotten, soon gotten over. But lesson learned and remembered.
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Answer 5

I agree with Jasmine, and I can also categorize abusers as those who push it too far (spank too hard and too long, hit anywhere else than on the buttocks, or use another weapon besides the hand, usually a belt or a switch, which was quite popular back in the days; people who spank mentally retarded children, or other children who will never understand why they were being punished.)

Also, though I don't personally know these adults, there are people who decidedly shut their parents out of their lives, and are NOT afraid to DISHONOR them because of this, or else they became alcoholics, drug abusers and/or criminals with prison records. Some become obsessed with having lots of power, and even sharing some with their children, because they themselves felt powerless. Some men who were spanked forcefully out of parents' anger even went on to beat their wives as they were beat. Some even decide to forgo marriage and children their whole lives, and refuse to care for their aging and elderly parents because they don't want the cycle to continue.

And just for the record, the husbands and fathers who were encouraged to beat their children in the era you speak of were also encouraged to beat their wives... at least the non-submissive ones, probably.

(God, I hope my answer doesn't get reported for the last part.)

Answer 6

That's a complex question. For all I know spanking as a method of deliberate punishment (as opposed to the occasional pop on the bottom) is in decline, certainly in Western Europe and probably in the U.S. as well. And yes, if spankings were experienced as such great teaching tools that should not be the case. But there are so many instances of social change, and they all involve departures from tried-and-true ways of doing things in the past. There is generally less emphasis on raw physical power and more on mental processes, more subtlety in social relations, and (in Western Europe at least) a pronounced trend toward tolerance and "liberalism", away from authoritarianism and moral rigor. Abandonment of spanking as a disciplining tool is just one aspect of that general trend, I think. In the U.S. it seems that social conservatives, who afvor spankings, still have strongholds. But that too may change over time.

Btw, reading some of your answers here I have great respect for your rational and humane approach toward parenting. Your kids are very lucky.

Answer 7

Its all about the person. I was physically and verbally abused as a child, but I'm not that way with my own children now that I'm a mother. My father (who abused me) was never abused as a child and rarely physically punished, yet he still became abusive as an adult.

In other words, spanking is not the only factor here. There are FAR TOO MANY variables in a persons life that may make them act (or react) in one way or another.

Answer 8

Spanking Wrong? Well you have to look at the people who abuse there kids starting with (I think) there inability to control there own anger.Then these kids who were abuse not knowing what to do as if the spanking is what started it,and then collaborating in this whole"Spanking Is Abuse" era.There is so much more to abuse then hitting. I was spanked, Hey if I was saying swears,fighting in school,ect. I got on acrossed the backside.Did I call my parents abusers? No.Did I become an abuser to my kids.No.My son is in a bitting,hitting stage,I give him a smack on his backside,he pouts,cries then goes off and starts playing but not before giving me "I'm Sorry" hug and kiss. Now will he abuse his kids, well I should think not. He is learning that hitting/bitting is wrong,but if it's to stop something more dangerous then it's acceptable in my eyes.

Answer 9

Personally, I think there are two forms of spanking.

1. There is the form that is used out of frustration and, to the child, seems as a beating because their parents are angry.

2. There is a form of that is used for punishment, in which the parents deliver the spanking in a manner that does not show excessive anger towards the child. This form is clearly used as punishment, and after the spanking, the child sits down with the parent, and the parent tells the child why he/she was spanked.

I think that the reason why spanking isn't as common as it used to be is because quite often, parents spanked out of anger, instead for the use of punishment. The only adults I know who respected their parents for spanking them were those whose parents were not overly angry when hitting their children and after they beat them, they sat down and talked to them, instead of sending them to their rooms or walking away and ignoring the child.

Answer 10

To be completely honest, spanking is not what makes the person, it is a matter of punishment. I was spanked as a kid and I still got pregnant at 16- which might I add was no fault of my parents. It is all a matter of that individual person, not the parent.