How do I help my wife has terrible anxiety, followed by anger and depression.?

Question

My wife has terrible anxiety, followed by anger and depression.

Is this a depression thing or an anxiety thing?

She can not control herself and goes into rages I sometimes feel that it is because of myself and the children, I have asked her if it has something to do with us and she says she dosen't know? I have tried to ask her what is wrong / why she gets so anxious and angry and she says she dosen't know.

I have always been very supportive but I don't know what else to do, I don't know who this person is or why she's angry all of the time, I wish she wouldn't take it out on the kids.

We're finally getting professional help I hope it works, but the appointment is weeks away, and I would appericiate any suggestions in the meantime that may help.

Answer 1

Get some information on line about bipolar disorder for her and for you, they have some support techniques for spouses. Have her read the material to see if she can identify with any of the symptoms. That will get her open to the idea when she gets the diagnosis....and she will!!!

Answer 2

First of all you need to be very supportive and very understanding. My mom suffers the same thing and has all her life. It's taken her years to finally get something to help her. Usually it's both she prolly has bad anxiety and bad depression. Seeing a professional is a good idea. My mom see's a therapist to help with her depression and work through old issues that she didnt even know she had. She also see's a psychiatrist who works with her doc and her therapist to help her. She finally found this miracle medicine that really helps with her depression she finally gets out of bed now. She's calmer and only has the anxiety problems when something really bad happens.
I think your wife is gonna have to see a few people and continue to work with the professionals until she can find something to help her. She may need some medication and therapy. The anxiety thing i know that if you work with the doc to be a happier calmer person then the anxiety goes away, but usually not completely. When something really bad happens my mom gets all out of whack and has to take some medicine to help calm her nerves (it's not an everyday one tho). I'm 21 and have seen her suffer for a long time.
Just work with your wife and be supportive my dad isnt always understanding and that makes everything else worse. Good luck and happy holidays!!

Answer 3

Whatever you do, stay away from Prozac and other similar anti-depressant drugs. There have been a lot of cases where people taking these drugs have committed suicide.

What these mood problems come down to is an imbalance in brain chemicals. This can be the result of many things - allregies to something that she is exposed to, either in the air, in food etc. My wife had similar problems and found that a large part of the problem was a reaction to Phenols.

Phenols are odorless, colorless, tasteless chemicals that can interact with brain chemicals. She told me once that after being unknowingly exposed she did not know where she was, and did not know who I was! She seemed to undergo complete changes of personality.

Phenols and other potentially harmful chemicals are found in such things as perfumes, cleaning produicts (especially Lysol, Windex, and air fresheners), foods and medicines (as preservatives), etc. etc.

I would recommend for starters to eliminate as many of these things as possible from her environment. Use unscented and hypoallergenic soaps, deodorants, detergents, dishwashing liquids, and other products. Don't use air fresheners or fabric softeners.

Cook things from scratch ingredients and don't use pre-prepared foods that contain preservatives (it's healthier anyhow!) Avoid snack foods that contain a lot of additives, colorants etc. Use things like from-scratch popcorn with real butter not artificial flavoring, or organic potato chips with no preservatives or MSG.

A detoxification routine might also be a good idea, to get these chemicals out of her body - there is a clinic in Dallas that specializes in this - sorry I forget the name but you can probably find it in a web search.

You can also detoxify at home by sweating, drinking lots of water, exercising and repeating this routine for a few days.

Avoid soft drinks - use natural juices and mineral waters.

Good luck!

Answer 4

There has to be something if this has started suddenly. It sounds like she could be bipolar (know from experience). I agree you should try to explain to the kids that it isn't mom's fault and it isn't theirs either. Is she a stay at home mom? Has anything happened recently that brought on these changes? Or has she always been this way and it has just worsened? You may be able to call your therapist office and explain that it is affecting your children and you really need to be seen sooner if possible. It's not you or the kids. Something is happening inside her, hormonal or mentally and it needs to be checked soon. I wish you all the luck. There is an herbal supplement called dong quai that helps with anxiety, mood swings and works fairly fast. Until then, hang in there. I wish i could be of more help. keep the kids safe. and your sanity.

Answer 5

I had something very similar happen to me last year . I already was on a anti-depressant and anxiety medicine. I just raged a few times on my husband ( our kids are grown) I swore said awful things threw and broke things in our house the parts I remember were awful. God, love my husband for staying with me. The Dr. did some changes in my medicine and sent me to a Therapist, It all stems from the serotonin in the brain and she can't help it. Get her to your medical Dr. before that appt. that is weeks away and maybe he can get her on a anti-depressant and anxiety med to help her and then the the Psychiatrist may want to change it but she needs something. Be patient like you have been, and do tell the kids Mom isn't well. You sound as loving as my husband. Good Luck

Answer 6

My own experience is that when my hormones were off (low cortisol, esp.) I was completely messed up like that. It was unbelieveable. So I would check all hormones. It's easy and cheap to do that. There are even home tests using saliva. I think it's worth calling around to get in to see someone sooner than "weeks away"... that's just wrong. Although homeopathy almost never works any better than placebo in well-formed studies, SSRI's (e.g., prozac) and other anti-D's can help in the short term, but I would definitely try to figure out some underlying cause, such as dietary, hormonal, etc.

Answer 7

sounds like depression to me. meds should help. i was actually at the drs yesterday for having anxiety like symptoms, and my dr told me that the same part of the brain that controls anxiety attacks also controls panic attacks and depression, so it might possibly be anxiety and depression. in the mean-time, just let her stay calm. when she starts having these episodes just ask her to sit down, give her some water. try to stay away from cafiene. maybe a nice long bath would help. i tried that the other night when i was having an episode, 1.5 hours in the tub with a nice book. it was quite calming.

just make sure she's aware that she's taking her agression out on the kids, she might not know. if you can deal with it, tell her to focus it on you cause you understand what the kids might not.

Answer 8

I had a deep onset of depression at one point, which also brought on anxiety. Rages are no biggie when struggling with anxiety depression. I sincerely hope to God this professional help will you all. It takes time and effort. Only your wife knows what is truly going on in her head. My illness at the time came on because of outside influences, mainly family, friendships, neglect. I was only 17. Much of my recovery was thanks to a faith in a higher place. But each to their own. She will profit considerably throught really learning to relax. Meditation techniques help. Try and keep her away from anything/anyone, situations, topics that will cause her to flip. But also be sure to voice your own difficulty without causing any guilt or anger.

You may also want try Omega 3/EPA oil, and Vitamin B-complex, which stabilise the nervous system.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

try giving her a bubble bath with lavender essentials...heard lavender is a stress reliever. Give her all the "her Time" you can. Offer to take the kids out....send her to a spa for a day....things to get her mind off of stress. It just sounds like she is very stressed. Sometimes stress turns into anxiety and anger. Maybe have someone watch the kids and take her on a date just you two to her favorite place. Hope this helps in the meantime! :)

Answer 10

You poor thing, I hope things work out for you, just hang in there. But remember, just because you two have an appointment, it dosent mean that she is gonna see results right away. Just take care of your babies and yourself as best as you can while she's getting help. Believe me, it's nothing you have done or the kids. It sounds like she's manic depressive and a little bypolar. Good Luck and pray alot!!!