I usually only buy gifts for my mother, brother and grandmother (my mother’s mother). Sometimes I get my father something – if he isn’t out of pocket. My husband is a Jehovah’s Witness and doesn’t celebrate holidays, so I don’t have to worry about him. I am extremely close to my mother’s side of the family and I have five aunts and one uncle on her side. However, I don’t worry about buying gifts for them because they are way too picky and ungrateful. Three of my aunts are always concerned about the value of things. If it’s not name brand and high dollar then they don’t want it. I have four aunts and three uncles on my father’s side, but I am not close to them at all. We have never had a relationship and I rarely see any of them. My grandmother (my father’s mother) is still alive and I feel guilty because I never buy her anything – but we don’t have a relationship either.
2007-12-21 02:50:49 · 10 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Nah, buy gifts for those you are close to and want to get gifts for. It's as simple as that.
There are cousins that I'm close to and buy for, and there are some I see maybe once every 10 years and would never think to buy them a gift. There are aunts and uncles I am really close to and see all the time and then there are some I never see. I am really close to my siblings, but my husband's siblings, I seriously have not spoken one word to any of them in 3 1/2 years! So I don't buy for them. Not because I'm wanting to snub anyone, I just figure if these people are not in my life ever, then why would I get them a gift?
Just buy for those that are close to you, and have a Merry Christmas!
2007-12-21 03:53:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We say "out of pocket" here in Houston too!
No, you would not be wrong. Only buy gifts for your loved ones you know will appreciate the thought behind your giving, and not scrutinize the price tag. Just because they are your family doesnt mean they are obligated to get a gift from you. Nor does it doesnt give them a free pass to make you feel bad because you didn't spend alot of $ on their gift either. They don't deserve anything from you. And you shouldn't feel guilty about your dad's side if you don't have a (good) relationship with him/them. That's their fault. They should value you as family. If they don't do that enough to have a relationship with you, they dont deserve anything from you at all.
Anyway, get your mom, gran & bro something great with your extra time and $. I hope you have a wonderful holiday!
2007-12-21 03:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by xtraluvly03 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LexusNoir, what is your problem with "out of pocket"? That is a perfectly common expression for someone who is short on money, and I've used it all my life, and no, I don't live in the DC area!
To the question: I hear you about the label-conscious aunts. I wouldn't even try. I have a sister-in-law that I hate giving gifts to, because I know she's just going to take them back (she asks me for the receipts), but last year I gave her a gift card, she said "thank you", kinda, but I overheard her say, "God, another gift card -- if you aren't going to even TRY, why bother?" So I confronted her, nicely, and said, "I'm sorry you didn't like the gift card, but I don't seem to have much luck buying you gifts since you always take them back, and I never get a response to my emails asking for ideas. What kind of present WOULD you like?" She was soooo embarrassed.
Getting gifts for people you barely know seems a little pointless.
2007-12-21 03:21:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm mad you said "out of pocket". I don't think most people here would understand that comment in that context. When I saw that I wondered if you lived in DC metro area.
Anyway....
There's no need to feel guilty. Christmas isn't about who got what. The sooner we realize that the better. Buy gifts for who you want. If the rest of them don't like it....then they don't have to get you gifts (maybe they already don't). I'm in the mindset that I'd prefer you not get me anything so I don't have to get you anything. It makes life so much easier.
So no it's not wrong to pick and choose. In fact I usually get presents for the kids and skip the adults all together. The kids should be catered to more than anything.
2007-12-21 03:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally dont think so. sometimes you're closer to some siblings more than others. especially when you don't have the money to spend on everyone, certain arrangements must be made. some people just wont get anything. it's not mean, neither is it wrong. i think its logical thinking. you know yall not that close, your presence and merry christmas should be enough
2007-12-21 02:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only family members I buy presents for is my mom, step-dad and brother. Other then that, I get something for my boyfriends parents, siblings and nephews and niece. That's it. No one else.
2007-12-21 03:02:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sure hope not. I only buy my mom, dad, brother, grams and favorite aunt. But I make my aunt promise not to tell my other aunts. Horrible, I know.
2007-12-21 03:04:37 · answer #7 · answered by Nicole 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Paul said that 'all giving should come from the heart'.
So if you are not giving from the heart, you are not giving from the Christian point of view.
Paul also said 'God loves a cheerful giver'.
If your giving is not cheerful, it is not pleasing to God.
Now you still need to make your own decision.
.
2007-12-21 03:11:56 · answer #8 · answered by TeeM 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to buy for anyone you don't want to. It would be nice to recieve something when everyone else is, however. But it is completely up to you.
2007-12-21 02:57:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only buy gifts for those you want to.
2007-12-21 02:55:59 · answer #10 · answered by American Spirit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋