If you were in love with someone of a different religion would you convert to be with them? Thats my situation

Question

He is Jewish
I am not

I would be changing my lifestyle, essentially...
eating foods I never ate
Giving up food Ive always eaten

I would be learning a new language
Learning new religious duties like
resting on the sabbath

---------------------------

I love this man so very very much
and I want to spend the rest of my life with him

I mean....its a big big thing to convert
i want to convert on his behalf but also I want to convert for the sake of building a relationship with God as well

If you are christian, athiest, jewish, catholic, agnostic, etc...

I just ask you to not attack and to offer feasible advice can take into consideration

If i could advise myself I would say...

Know what youd be giving up
and be sure that essentially he would do the same for you
as far as sacrificing a part of yourself...

What would YOU advise? I'm listening...

Thank you all for your words of advise it is all so very mindopening!

He is Jewish-Romanian
he doesnt force his faith on me and feels it is up to me but he will support my decision, he doesnt want it to be just for him, he stresses that he wants me to convert for the sake of seeking truth...

...i just wish it didnt matter... he is beginning to mean the world to me..and I dont want to lose him...

Answer 1

Here's the key issue - how important is your faith to you?

How strong are the beliefs and principles you hold?

If you would consider changing them simply to marry this man, then obviously your faith and beliefs are not important at all. You would be putting your feelings/emotions first, and not God.

In that case, marry him and become a Jew for convenience sake and pray for God's mercy.

Otherwise, put God first and truth first.

Pax Vobiscum+

Answer 2

This can be a very hard question to answer. From my point of view my religion and spirituality are inseparable from who I am, I define myself by my beliefs. For me I could not give up such an essential part of myself, it would be a betrayal of my own soul.

I do however believe that two people of two different religions can love each other and co-exist. A relationship should not be based solely on the individual beliefs of the people involved. Yes, those beliefs are VERY important but if the love is true and pure then there will also be understanding and compromise.

When converting to a new religion it should IMO never be for the sake of someone else. A conversion should always be done because that is what you believe to be true in your heart. Any other reason to convert could eventually lead to resentment for the person you converted for, especially if for some unforeseeable reason the relationship does not last forever.

My advice to you is to follow your heart and your current beliefs. If he truly loves you then he will love you just the way you are, including your spiritual orientation. If you do on the other hand decide to convert to his religion then make sure that you are doing it because you love his religion as much as you love him. Any other reason would be a betrayal to his faith in you.

Answer 3

I would say that you have to believe in what you are converting to - there should be no doubts in your heart.

As an atheist, there is no way I could convert to a religion but perhaps if you already both believe in the same God, it isn't such a big deal? Eating new foods and giving up old ones and adapting to new customs don't seem like a huge issues to me if the compensation is that you can be with someone you really love and make him happy.

My husband is strictly vegetarian while I love meat. Giving up eating and cooking meat (in the home) as well leather products was nothing to me compared with the reward of being able to live happily ever after with the love of my life.

I hope you make the decision that is right for you and wish you every happiness.

Answer 4

is he an orthodox jew? If not I don't think it should be an issue. I know people who have a jewish husband (not really practicing though) and it never was any issue and they have absolutely no problem with having different faiths.
If he is an orthodox jew I can't imagine there is a way around it, or you never can share food and use the same cutlery, my impression is being orthodox is very complicated. But it also means that being with your family at family events will get complicated, you'll always have to bring your own food.
And you better want to have a lot of children too.
Depends if you think it's worth it and if it wouldn't work out in the long run with him you would regret having done it for him.

Answer 5

Most serious religions, like Judaism and Catholicism offer pre marital classes, and they are to prepare those who are interested in finding out more about the faith they are marrying into and the challenges you might face in the future. Love is a very powerful thing and it will overcome a lot of obstacles,religion and one's belief can definately be one if not careful, but you must first be willing to embrace the differences in you both, likewise him as well, and then dialogue is important as well, find out is he truly a practicing Jew or not, and then finally discuss the importance of the religion upbringing of your children.
These matters are very important, Love is the base, the grace to pull you through, but it needs nurturing and to be fed as well, if you feel you are not ready, talk and seek help within the faith community you are about to enter.
God bless and good luck, may you be guided with God's grace always.

Answer 6

I would not change my religion to be with someone unless it was something that i could truly embrace for myself. Meaning i would have to feel that this is a good decision for me and my values and beliefs not for love.

My husband and I both have different spiritual beliefs. he has been pursuing a religion lately that i don't necessary find lines up to my beliefs. But that is what love is about.. acceptance of the other for who and what they truly are. He would not ask me to follow this path any more than i would ask him to stop following the path he has chosen.

Religion should complete you and offer peace to you. It should not fit like a shoe that is two sizes too small where you force yourself to walk in it each day while sacraficing what is more important to you.

Answer 7

Never, ever convert "for someone else." If you must convert away from your current ideology, do so because you feel it's the best thing for YOU and YOUR SOUL. If you already doubt that Jesus was the Messiah, and feel that in all likelihood he was not, or straight out believe that he was not, then it's not a huge stretch for you to convert.

If the only way you can be with a romantic partner through marriage is to convert when you don't really believe what you profess to be converting to, then you'd be living a lie simply to make someone else happy. I couldn't ever be with someone who would be willing to let me denounce my faith in favor of his own if my core beliefs still led me to believe that Jesus is the Christ. I would also NEVER ask someone else to do such a thing for me... convert to my religion simply to get around a technicality for marriage, especially if it meant turning his back on his true, core beliefs.

I would also ask why YOU have to be the one to convert to be together? Why do YOU have to be the one to turn away from your faith? Why is it implicitly assumed that his faith is stronger than yours? If you are weak of faith, then it's really a moot point, I suppose.

So again, I say... if you truly believe that you can convert and your faith in the Jewish religion is the true way for you, your true path to God, then do it. But don't do it "for someone else." It must be for yourself.

Answer 8

I did convert to the religion my wife held, but I think that had more to do with the fact that she walked the talk than any feeling I had that I had to have the same religion as her, for the sake of family peace.

If he loves YOU, he will not pressure you to change religions. He will let you choose what to do in your own good time. And then someday, if your heart is so moved, perhaps you will convert all on your OWN initiative.

Keep in mind these words of Khalil Gibran:

"Sing and dance together and be happy, but each alone, as are the strings of a lute, though the same music vibrates in them. Give your hearts, but do not give them to each other for safekeeping. For only the hand of life can hold your hearts."

We're all journeying to God on our own. A respectful husband will encourage you on that journey; but he will not tell you how to do it.

Answer 9

If you're genuinely interested in the Jewish faith, I say, pour yourself into the studies and see if it's for you. I have a friend who is "pre-engaged" and in your position. She's not a very religious person, but she's converting anyway because she likes and respect the beliefs and culture.

Answer 10

Be sure that your new religion can be one you can follow with all your heart. Don't just go through the motions because you feel pressure to in order to be with him.