she drew a picture that she hates this house she hates coming and she hates all the holidays. she drew a picture of her and her mom. her mom has pushed me out of her life. parent alienation syndrome. what do i do I love my daughter but I think she is being brainwashed. ahhhh.
2007-12-21 02:13:29 · 9 answers · asked by Iamdaddy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
it is not that she is not comfortable with me it is just that her mom is damaging to our relationship. her mother wont refer to me as dad
and alls I want is a happy family. the stepdad is very hostile. should I say whatever and not force the visits and let them damage her against me even more. or will me spending time with her help with the hesitation
what is best what do i do
2007-12-21 04:18:17 · update #1
I am married and have 2 subsequent children as well been married for 5 years in a relationship for 7 and a half
2007-12-22 13:44:24 · update #2
That's divorce in a nutshell. My mother was really toxic after the divorce, and it totally killed any relationship I would have had with my father. Sad, really. Sorry to hear.
2007-12-21 02:37:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should try to talk to your daughter and find out exactly what her feelings are about. Reassure her all the while that you understand that it is hard to be separated from her mom during the holidays but that you and her mom both love her very much and you both want to be with her.
Secondly, I would ask for family counseling. Discussing the issues out in the open might be good for everyone involved.
Thirdly, I would go to court and ask for more visitation. Not only is it your right to be with your daughter, it will show her that you love her and truly want to be with her.
As a child of divorce, I remember how horrible I would feel when I was with my dad - not because I didn't love him but because I felt as if I were being disloyal to my mom. I felt the same way when I was away from my dad and with my mom. I always felt guilty and bad about myself when it had nothing to do with me at all. Luckily my parents were able to have a great friendship and we ended up spending our holidays as one family so that the kids did not feel like they were choosing sides. Best of luck to you and your daughter. I hope she can understand that you care enough to try to the right thing.
2007-12-21 12:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm really sorry to hear this, its awful. my boyfriend is having the same problem with his kids. i guess you should take advantage of the time you do get to spend with your daughter (i'm not sure what your custody agreement is) and make sure that it is time well spent. you could try talking to you daughter more and maybe taking her out for some fun activiities (again, im not sure how much you see her or what your situation is). i think its important to get your daughter to trust you and have a loving relationship. i think you should just be as proactive as possible.
as for her mother, you probably can't control what she does or says around your daughter. try to reason with her...if its anything like my boyfriends situation i know its hard and practically impossible, but let her know its in the best interest of her daughter.
just don't give up. good luck.
2007-12-21 10:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by <3 FLYERS <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing my neighbor did, (he is the dad) for his 2 sons is that he wasn't satisfied with his every other weekend visits and Wednesday night visits, so he ended up taking her to court and fighting for more visitiation time. He got it too! Now he gets his kids EVERY Thursday after school and keeps them until Monday nights. I love stand up Dad's like that!! Fight for your rights, because you do have them!
This will show her, within your actions that you do want to spend more time with her also. If you aren't able to do this, just make the BEST out of the time you do have together. Divorce hurts everyone involved. Just love her through your actions because that speaks a lot louder than words. Good luck.
2007-12-21 10:39:58 · answer #4 · answered by Corona 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"alls I want is a happy family" But YOU don't HAVE a happy family. What you have is your EX wife, who is married to ANOTHER man (not you) Your daughter who lives with your EX wife and her husband...and I guess YOU are UNmarried. Sounds more like pubescent anxt in your daughter than brainwashing but of course you would believe it was brain washing because you are the "odd man out" since your daughter IS in the midsts of a family and you're not.
2007-12-22 00:11:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is old enough to decide where she wants to be, let her choose...I have raised my daughter by myself, and she will be 14 next month. I would never force her to be somewhere she is not comfortable, that just it's fair. Why add fuel to the fire.
2007-12-21 11:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by deb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
continue to visit with her, right now she is to young to understand, but when she is older, she'll know and remember that you wanted her, if you stop the visits, the only she is going to know (especially with the type of mother she has) is that you gave up, and weren't there. so no matter what keep up the visits, and have fun with her, eventually...and it will be soon, she'll see who the better caregiver is, and then, her mother will have to deal with it.
2007-12-22 11:12:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her talk it out. And keep reassuring her how very much you love her and how you understand her life is hell right now.
2007-12-21 11:21:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well take her out and have some quality dad time she is probably just going through a stage.
2007-12-21 10:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by borntotumble 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋