My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years. During most of that, we have had a good relationship, but it has not led to marriage, yet. He does not seem to have been interested in marriage, but just because of his idealogy. I am 33, he is 35. 9 months ago, he got a wonderful job offer in Italy, and decided to try it out. He has been doing 3 months there, three months here. He really likes it there, and I can tell he wants to move there permanently. Problem is, I am a lawyer and cannot practice law in Italy without 4 more years of training. we had spoken of having a child together, if I move there, but I don;'t want to move there permanently. He recently got back, and I happened to glance at his email and see that he had several from a girl there. I took an opportunity to read them; they are very friendly--about 1 email/day--and I am pretty sure there is no actual relaitonship there, but there is obviously mutual interest and a solid friendship in the works. Should I be worried?
2007-12-21 00:47:58 · 5 answers · asked by myrtlebough 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, you should not be worried. If someone is moving on and you are not in the plans you can not force it to work no matter how hard you try. He doesn't have you in the plans or he would be making arrangements on what the 2 of you are going to do about your job, etc.. Accept what is going on. Move forward and start looking at other men. Sounds like you have an awful lot to offer someone. Your smart, committed, and have a stable job. Remember when you try to make things work and the other person doesn't want it, they loose respect for you. Who wants to be with someone they don't respect? But when you take control of your life and see someone doing something that doesn't include you, and you move on. They notice. That will make him think. Update your hair, makeup, get in shape, and start looking.
2007-12-21 00:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by L. J. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was in your shoes, yes I would be worried. However, if the e-mails we're friendly like you say and you trust him, maybe there isnt anything to worry about. Sounds like the distance seperating each others hearts though isnt making them grow fonder. If you want to save the relationship and take a risk, move with him. If your career is more important to you, stay. What is meant to be will be. Good luck!
2007-12-21 00:54:29 · answer #2 · answered by Dani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, probability is, regardless of if this grow to be yet another guy, you are able to have the comparable concerns. Bc it is not abt him, its abt you. For watever reason, your guy or woman expiriences have lead you to have faith you're actually not worth of love. in any different case, you wudnt sense insecure abt him leaving u. specific, it cud take place, for motives of his very own tat have no longer something to do with you. tats fact. yet you are able to't administration his strikes, you administration yours. And your strikes could make a distinction. however the way you're thinking abt your self now impacts the way you sense, and additionally you wager your buttons that this lack of self assurance will come btw u contained in the relationship. men decide to be happy and depended on in relationships. you do no longer sound happy, nor thoroughly trusting of him. this is to no longer say you are able to by no potential be those 2 issues. even though it takes artwork on the interior first. seem at your self. seem at your ideas. See if the suitable exchange would properly be made. that might actually assist you out, i will pass away a hyperlink on varieties of ideas tat all human beings frequently have that would forestall our lives unnecessarily. I truley wish you are able to have a magnificent esteem and relationship. and that i quite have faith you are able to, as quickly as you enable pass of irrational fears of abandonment.
2016-11-04 05:14:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get worried now when you understand what the reality is.
Let the problem arise(hopefully, it doesn't), then you think of sorting it out.I think, you remain a little alert and just observe(silently).You surely can do that , a lawyer after all !
2007-12-21 00:57:16 · answer #4 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U should talk to him over this...... i mean well u kno him from quite a long period , so u obviously kno him more...............
So i'm pretty sure u'll mk a good decision ur self, coz u kno him well........
2007-12-21 01:02:55 · answer #5 · answered by Straight from the Heart......... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋