if someone tells meoff [at work] or anything i just hold it in my heart and feel disheartened.how can i toughen up ...
2007-12-18 22:57:25 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No need to be thick skinned....It's OK to be a caring person.
It's also OK to let words and opinions slide off your shoulders.
You do need to stand up for yourself when needed though as long as you pick the right battles. Just make sure you remind yourself that you are your own person and not out to please others all of the time because in the real world you could never accomplish that. If you are a good person ( which I am sure you are or this would not bother you). then just know that in your heart regardless of what anyone else may think.
If you are confronted again by someone who thinks you may be a pushover, be calm, state your opinion with conviction and then move on. Never hold the negativity of others close to your heart...breath easy knowing sometimes you just have to over look others. Good luck and stay strong!
2007-12-18 23:13:51 · answer #1 · answered by Teresa S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult one. Some years back I decided to "fake it til I made it" and it appeared to be working to everyone but me.
My problem was/is I just care too much period about everything.
I hope there's a better way but I just had to learn to not care as much about everything in life. It's very hard work and I have to be constantly aware of what is going on with me.
I also tell myself that the other one wanted to hurt me and probably didn't even mean what they said.
It's sad that people feel they have to "tell each other off" and say mean and nasty things.
Try not to hang around with people that do this too.
2007-12-19 07:17:07 · answer #2 · answered by pinky 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should take up a college course in Neuro Linguistic Programming or speaking confidently in public, this will make you a more confident person.....
Thick skinned is a frame of mind for years I wanted to not care about what people thought of me, it took a lot of soul searching but I am there now....
Good luck and enjoy the journey.... ;0)
2007-12-19 07:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by MRS NICE 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
THe only things that worked for me
was to not take things so personally and blow them off unless it was connected to a value moral or goal of mine i learned not to take it to heart.
by asking myself if what that comment was effected my values morals or goals if i said no then i blew if off!
it's a hard habit to build it takes time,,,
don't be to hard on yourself because you won't change over night..
at the very least one month
took me 3 years
also a few other things that helped
working in radio
and this web site
www.coping.org it 's the only free help out there that i still us today!
2007-12-19 07:20:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work related. Bear in mind that nobody is perfect. Somethings you are expected to know, but you can't know, if you haven't been told/shown.
Just thank them for bringing it to your attention, and you'll do what you can to put it right, or ask them have they any ideas on how to resolve it. Constructively and not creeping. People like being asked for advice.
Try not to hold it in your heart. Ask yourself, will it really matter in one week/year etc.
2007-12-19 07:19:43 · answer #5 · answered by Julia H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to like this - not one bit.
The way to toughen up is to de- sensitise yourself.
Make a start by doing little things that people aren't going to like. It will be less painful for you if you start off by picking things that you want to do anyway.
Gradually get bolder and bolder.whilst keeping on the right side of the law and decency.
Soon you'll get used to it.
I'm really NOT trying to be funny
2007-12-19 07:03:44 · answer #6 · answered by proud walker 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
They want you to be less sensitive about things that's all.
Toughen up by not taking what they say to heart so much
Thick skinned means much the same, but don't let the things they say hurt you and penetrate your skin into your heart.
2007-12-19 18:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by Sally Anne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they criticise your work, it's because of the work you've done, not the person you are. We learn from our mistakes, this is the thing. Don't take it to heart, remember that anyone who has criticised you has themselves had to deal with criticism just like you have.
If this doesn't work, imagine them on the toilet with a BAD dose of constipation. You know, really STRAINING .....
2007-12-19 07:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by Orla C 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Most important never take anything personally!
Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
Learn to be immune to the opinions and actions of others...then you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
2007-12-19 21:43:29 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't take any crap, and if someone tells you off just make sure its you that was in wrong! If you get told off and yet you feel you have done nothing wrong. And then you do nothing, thats a big problem!
2007-12-19 07:01:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋