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I need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend now for about 2 years. We are engaged to be married but there are some major problems. Each time we have an argument he will beat me or threaten to beat me. I know he is a good person deep down but I can't keep putting up with the physical abuse. I love him very much and it hurts to leave. What should i do or say to try and make things better with my fiance? Or is it a better idea to leave him or be alone for a while? Please help

2007-12-18 22:17:47 · 31 answers · asked by vanell 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

31 answers

you should never let a man put his hands on you (beat you) no matter what the reason may be. you should leave him, if you continue like this things might just get worse, if he has a bad day and just feels like punching you in the face he'll probably do it because he knows you'll put up with it. call the police when he does this. if you can't settle an argument without him losing control and abusing you why stay with him?? throw his *** in jail and move on. unless you like being beaten, do not marry this guy.

2007-12-18 22:27:31 · answer #1 · answered by Ancalagon 3 · 3 1

Wow. This is a very serious problem. This is a personal opinion, but I can't believe that anyone who truly loved someone would BEAT them. Also, those violent tendencies will not end with you, if you have children, they will most likely hurt them as well. Is your fiance a drug addict, or an alcoholic? Either way, take a few steps back. Move out, and date someone else for a bit. You don't have to get physical, if you are concerned about your fiancé's opinion, but it would help to get the feel of being treated right. Have you ever been hit before this boyfriend? Because that is in no way a normal thing. I think you need more that relationship help, you may need to see someone in confidence. Either a close friend, or a psychologist. Don't be afraid of a psychologist, they can be of great help. Anyways, I'm sorry to hear this, and I hope you figure something out that makes you happy, and keeps you safe. Good Luck.

2007-12-18 22:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by coconutzxd 1 · 2 0

You may think that you can change him, but you can not. Maybe he is a good person "deep down inside" but on the outside he has anger issues that he can not control. And it will be these issues that will get worst as time goes by. These issues will cause you pain that you do not deserve. Nobody has the right to her the one they "love" for any issue, no matter what. If you really want to make this work, you need to have him go to anger management classes, and counseling. But after he starts, he should never even raise a hand at you again, or it's over. If he refuse to do this, then its time to leave asap.

2007-12-18 22:23:20 · answer #3 · answered by Nick 5 · 1 1

!!! how old is he? dosnt he know that abuse is not the answer to any problem? you dont have to put up with it. he knows that you love him and you dont really want to leave him, so he's taking advantage of you. If you can work out what causes arguements and weather if it's his fault or yours and what the arguements are about, then it will be much easier to sort out things. If it's his fault, then obviously its too much for you to handle. Let him know that if he hits you the next time, you are going to leave him. And if he does, then do take a break from him till he realises that its not right and till he stops.

2007-12-18 22:30:55 · answer #4 · answered by cherry babe 7 · 0 0

Run to a Women's Shelter as soon as he leaves for work. L E A V E !!! Before you get pregnant. If you hang around any longer, you don't deserve any more sympathy. No one can help you if you don't get away immeadiately.

No man has ever beaten me; I would leave the first time it happened. Besides, I'd fight back and he'd need to be taken to the emergency room if he tried something like that with me!

2007-12-18 22:30:10 · answer #5 · answered by wildflower 7 · 1 0

Obviously your relationship is not healthy at all and no one deserves to be treated that way.
Yes, you probably love him and yes, it will be difficult to move on and leave but why put up with his abuse...it is not worth it and it is dangerous. How can you expect to have a life with someone that treats you like that?
I think you should separate yourself from him for awhile and attempt to work on the relationship with counseling sessions yet if he is not willing to do that then move on because you can find another person who will treat you with respect.

2007-12-18 22:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by Serenity247 2 · 0 0

You need to leave this guy so he can sort out his problems. He is trying to control you because he thinks you will leave him, and the only way to make you stay with him is to threaten you. This is not a healthy relationship.

2007-12-18 22:44:13 · answer #7 · answered by Raquel 4 · 1 0

You really should read up on the Stephen Grant and Tara Grant case in Michigan. Earlier this year, this man killed his wife by choking her out while fighting with her. He ended up cutting her body up and hiding it in various spots.

Do NOT stay with a man who will hit you. No matter how good he is other than that. Do you want to become a Tara Grant??

2007-12-19 11:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by ▒♥▒♥▒♥▒♥▒™ 5 · 0 0

Don't just leave all of a sudden--plan your escape route. If he has phone contacts, keys, access to your family/friends, then alert them to your plans. Ask them to help.

Set up an "escape network" or else he will just track you down and beat you some more. But listen to everyone's answers--they are all in the majority giving the same answer: LEAVE.

2007-12-18 22:23:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

Please leave, I hope you don't have children with him causing this to be more complicated.
The pain of leaving him is nothing compared to the pain you are enduring. You are losing yourself.
I don't know your age, but if you are young and he has already caused your family to be alienated, get a protective order, go to your local abused womans shelter.
This type of man only gets worse, he may kill you oneday.
I know, I lived it for 14 years.
Love yourself!!

2007-12-18 22:29:31 · answer #10 · answered by kel 1 · 1 0

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