I told my husband that I dont want his mother involved in the baby's life at all. This woman is beyond evil and I dont trust her at all. He knows the reason and he agrees with me but what do I do when she finds out about the baby and stuff like that?
2007-12-18 17:51:21 · 14 answers · asked by Braedyn is due 5/8/08! 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
DOVEBIRD : what are you talking about? "am i smart enough" and what post are you talking about??? If your gonna post crap like that then at least have your email up.
I dont like this woman cause she is an abusive alcoholic. She hit me in the face and insists she didnt. She steals and sells things that dont belong to her so she can keep up her habbit.
2007-12-18 18:07:14 · update #1
I COMPLETELY understand what you are going through. I really want to keep my own mother out of my son's life once he is born in May. My mother actually got my sister's daughter taken away from her by telling lies to her daycare about my sister abusing her. My mom would give the baby medicine to go to sleep... without asking my sister or telling her. My mom is also an alcoholic and pill popper. I DO NOT TRUST HER AROUND MY SON!
If you are uncomfortable with someone being around your child, you are allowed to tell them that! Be prepared to deal with a lot of crap once she finds out about the baby though...
OH!!! IM A NAVY WIFE TOO!!! (San Diego)
2007-12-18 18:09:49 · answer #1 · answered by Van is due 5/8/08! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing something good by not allowing negativity to invade your child's life and family life. I would say that because of the way she has treated you in the past you no longer want to be around her, especially not with your child. Children are sensitive and if your baby/kid sees her disrespecting you or your husband and/or being physically/emotionally abusive to you on a regular basis how is that going to affect the child? If you don't respect the parents you have no entitlement to their children. Tell her that actions are not without consequence. You need to live with truth and honor and love and apparently she is too into herself to respect your lifestyle and feelings. If you tell her about the baby she will go cuckoo until she gets to see it, you know. I would announce that you have officially cut her out of your life until she learns to treat you with respect on a regular basis. Then, let her find out about the baby, if she's going to. Maybe she'll be nice and if not then stay away, and be the best mom you can be.
2007-12-18 20:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by amberofarabia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband close with her? Does your family (you and your husband) have contact with her at all? If so, you will either have to cut off all contact or tell her eventually, but make it perfectly clear that she will not be allowed to have anything to do with your child. It may head off some problems if you and your husband are the ones to inform her of your pregnancy (rather than letting her hear it from gossip), however not knowing your family, I can't say for sure.
Most important will be standing your ground and being sure that you and your husband are on the "same page" as far as this decision goes - it is important to have support in this decision and he must stand firm as well. It may be useful to discuss now whtat would need to be done (if anything) to change the situation in the future (i.e. inform her that she needs to stop drinking, get therapy both for her physical abuse and substance abuse, apologize to the people she's harmed, never be alone with the child, etc) if she were to ever be allowed contact with the child.
Very important as well, is to make it clear to anyone involved that you are doing this for your child's safety and wellbeing, and not out of petty revenge or childishness on your part.
2007-12-19 02:04:55 · answer #3 · answered by Clari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really can't. But as a parent it isn't your job to be nice and spare feelings. It is your job to do whatever you think is best and healthiest for your child. Having said that, I don't think it needs to be a subject brought up now. Just don't take the child to her home. Invite her to see the child in your home. If she asks you to come by then you can express concern for the child's health where the smoke is concerned. Leaving the child alone with her is only an issue if she asks to be left with the child. If she does then you can explain your issues with her religious affiliation. Maybe you can work out a compromise, who knows. But in the mean time - if she starts reading the newborn's palm or something you can simply ask her to stop. My guess is that she will do as you ask...
2016-04-10 07:18:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mother in law has all of the issues you claim then why do you care what she has to say or if she finds out about the baby. Let your husband deal with his mother. Maybe, not being able to see her grandchild will motivate her into getting some help for her problems.
Good Luck.
2007-12-19 00:53:31 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, the problem for the future is your husband. He has to just tell his mother that due to her addiction, she is not part of your family. As such, the baby will not be part of her life. The less he says about his doings to her, the better.
What do you do? You get her number blocked. She can call your husband on his cell phone. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but so many family members enable addicts. You just have to cut them out until they hit bottom and help themselves.
2007-12-19 11:27:03 · answer #6 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand you guys have problems with eachother, but she's entitled to the truth, she's gonna find out someday, so why not tell her? If you tell her, doesnt mean you have to let her involved with the baby's life. You guys should get your issues resolved for the baby's sake though, since it's good for the baby to have good relationships with their grandparents. You're gonna have the child all in the middle of these issues, and i know what it feels like since my mother had issues with her dad, so now he doesn't talk to me because of their issues. how fair is that to me?
2007-12-18 18:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by Fokas 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you live near her? Like in the same town or state? If not, tell her you wanted it to be a surprise.
If you do live near her, you can either tell her the truth which is you don't want her involved in your baby's life or you can lie and say you meant to tell her earlier but just never found the time and didn't know how to go about telling her. (Some people like to think of creative ways to tell their parents that they're pregnant.)
2007-12-18 18:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by TaDaa! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Good luck with this one.
If the woman is actually like you say I don't blame you for not wanting her around your child. But be prepared for the sh*t to hit the fan when she finds out...
Maybe your husband should talk to her about why you do not want her around the child and encourage her to get counseling?
2007-12-18 18:09:05 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, don't tell her.Stay away from her.She is very bad in every way.It's good that your husband is supportive in this matter.I don't know if you are living together with her.If it's so, get a separate establishment as your dwelling place.Better to be completely away from her reach/view.
God Bless
2007-12-18 18:43:46 · answer #10 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋