I want to have a talk with my six-year-old daughter about what to do if somebody tries to touch her in an inappropriate way, but I don't want to freak her out either. She's starting to participate in more activities where I'm not always present -- dance lessons, play dates, camp, etc. -- and I want to walk through with her what is inappropriate touching, ideas about what to do if somebody makes her uncomfortable, and to always tell me, and so on. Can anyone recommend any books or websites that would help me raise the topic with her in a non-threatening way? Any ideas for how to have this discussion without making her think the world is full of scary people who will be trying to grope her?
2007-12-18 16:37:20 · 10 answers · asked by LawMom 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
ybsbllrx... you are a pervert. It's hard to tell you what to do. Don't be afraid to talk to her. I was molested when I was a child from 9 to 12. I wish my mother would have told me things I might have spoke up. I am doing fine now, I've been with a loving husband for 33 years and at times I think back. I made such that my children knew at a young age good touch and bad touch. Be honest and talk to her level of understanding. 6 years is not to young to tell them that no matter what happens come to me and I will believe you. You see most molesters make children to believe that because they are the adult they will be believe instead of the child. Like my molester said your dad is my best friend what do you think will he believe me his best friend are you the little brat...
I never told my father and got the courage to tell my mother when I was 35 years old. She cried and asked my why I didn't come to her. And I told her because I was a brat and I didn't believe that you would believed me. She cried, we cried. My mom told me that I wasn't a brat or someone to be throne away that she would have believed me. I can't believe it.
I am sitting here pouring out all my childhood feelings. Fear of hate from those who loved me just because a molester molested me. Learned to love from those you loved me with the knowledge that they would have believed me.
PS. You have to watch everyone now days even doctors check out the website below. Its all about what doctors do wrong in Canada and its opened to the public. Some doctor do go to far also.
2007-12-19 11:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go beyond making sure she knows what inappropriate areas of her body for anyone to touch are (which, at six, I'm sure she already does, since they're the same ones she surely knows not to display to the world) and reminding her that she should not be alone with anyone unless you know about it, and that if anything ever happens she's unsure about she should tell you or the adult who is looking after her right away. The only thing that has changed is that the adult looking after her is not always you.
Otherwise you're going to scare her silly. Her dance teacher or swimming instructor is going to need to touch her, sooner or later, to help her get into the right position. It's wrong to make her afraid of that.
Six is much too early to be putting any of the decisions about what is or is not "appropriate touching" onto her. It's still up to you to check that her dance teacher is trustworthy, that you know the parents of the children she goes on playdates with, that the camp is organised so children are never alone with a single adult, and so on. You are no longer always there, but at six she is still always with a responsible adult, and it's their job.
I think the only thing that you should impress on her at this age is that if any adult EVER does anything and then says to her "don't tell your mum about this" then she MUST tell you at the first opportunity.
2007-12-19 00:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I brought it up to my 4 year old at a Dr.'s appointment. She had to take off her outfit and put on a little gown for her check up and when the Dr. was checking her out i reminded her and asked him to tell her that only the Dr. had any business feeling her and touching her, and in the appropriate ways w/ mommy in the room. That there would never be an OK time for anyone else to touch her this way. I also remind her of that lesson when we take our showers. I help her w/ her hair and her back but when it comes time to clean her private parts i hand her the scrubby and tell her clean herself and do not forget that only you should clean your privates, but if you need help you should only ask mommy. When she washes herself that it is because she is in the shower but that other than the Doc no one else should be helping her with her body.
2007-12-18 17:14:41 · answer #3 · answered by Samijo 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
People now a days are obsessed with pedophilia but to my opinion it has become hysterical and completely out of proportions. It simply doesn`t happen as frequently as some wants you to believe. I believe that you have nothing to fear about and if it happens, there is nothing you can do about it, except making your daughter feel unsafe and insecure. The world is not full of scary people. The only thing you should do, is to tell her that if somebody is doing something to her that she feels bad about, then she have to tell you. If you have her confidence she will tell you everything she is experiencing. If she gets the impression that you want to hear particular things about inappropriate touchings, she might make it up just to satisfy you.
2007-12-18 17:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by john c 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just tell her that no one should ever touch her on her swimsuit area, its her private area and if anyone does to tell someone right away. I tell my son that the only one that can see his privates is his doctor to make sure he is healthy and mommy and daddy when we get him dressed. I will also ask him what kind of games he plays while he is at school or at the baby sitters house, that way I can get info out of him without freaking him out.
2007-12-19 02:58:38 · answer #5 · answered by LILAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somehow we all survived for hundreds of thousands of years without our parents obsessing about our being "touched inappropriately" until the past generation came along. The chances are practically nil that anyone will ever in her lifetime try to "grope" your little girl, and if they did, it would mean nothing to her, only to you. I vote for not worrying her about it, that this is one of those cases where the "cure" may be much worse than the disease.
2007-12-19 04:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Talk to your school's librarian, or a children's librarian at your local library.
There's an Australian title "Everyone's got a bottom"
and
"It's my body" by Lori Freeman (link below) look like they might be the right level. Don't forget to check out the "customers also bought section"!
2007-12-18 16:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by Darker 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
im pretty sure he meant adults dude. not young kids. I dont have an answer but i had to explain the the guy above me...
2007-12-18 16:49:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
a This is case of very young one.Give her a little extra time to grow up and gradually, you will know yourself how and what to be communicated to her.I guess , now isn't the time for this.....have patience , mother.
2007-12-18 17:01:49 · answer #9 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
who cares shes gonna get touched by plenty of guys sometime during life, unless ur gonna keep her secluded from the world and you want her to be a loner when she grows up then talk but who really cares shes gonna do it sooner or later
2007-12-18 16:46:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 14⤋