What can I do? My 15 year old son is totally out of control he is using profanity all the time?

Question

He says he hates living here. What can I do? Is this just a phase he is going through? Please help! Thanks in advance

Answer 1

Minus the profanity, treat him much as he treats you, but in an adult way. Don't hesitate to ignore him. Teenagers hate the silent treatment, especially when they are really working at getting your back up. Don't react, just turn away and continue with whatever you were doing as if they aren't even there. It worked for me.

Oh, and whenever he says he hates living there, respond with, "I don't blame you!" You're putting the ball in his court then. Let him play with it. And yes, it's a phase. A darned annoying one. Just don't rise to his bait. The problem is his.

The best of luck!

Answer 2

Of course it's a phase. I went through it too at his age. My parents took the door off of "their" (my) room and told me to get a job to buy the privilege of having privacy back. It totally sucked and it was a really hard time in my life. I look back and I laugh now, but back then I really got a sense of how difficult it was to earn money, get a job, and show respect. Oh! And revoke the phone, Internet, TV, movies/games, all the fun stuff. Allowance can pay for the perks in life. Use of profanity will cost $3 each word, $2 for each ugly look/ stare, and $1 for every roll of the eyes. Meaningful hugs/kisses, thank yous, words of meaning were +$1. That kept my pockets in check. I learned how to respect my parents through lots of tough love.

Answer 3

For the most part, yes, it probably is a phase. Even though my son is now 28, I can remember his late teen years like they just happened!
I know how hard it can be to talk to them when they are so unwilling to hear. And the last thing you need is to have another argument that leaves you both feeling worse.
One thing which often helps...is to "write it" rather than "say it!"
When writing we are alone and much calmer. Rather than demanding he stop this or that, I would write out that it hurts you to hear him using profanity and ask him to please consider your feelings in this matter.
Also, be sure to let him know how much you love him and that your love will never stop.
Most kids in this awkward age respond quite well to writing. Encourage him to write you a letter back. Hang in there Mom...so many of us have gone through the same agony.

Answer 4

Trust me, it's a phase.

I'm a teenager, and i tell my friends all the time i hate where i live. It's normal for teenagers especially to hate everything, we're learning how to adapt to a thing called 'work' 'responsibility' and 'reality'. We don't like it, our biggest dream is to make millions by doing nothing. To have our spouses do all the work for us and get everything we want with a snap of our fingers. But we can't be children forever, and we're growing up... just learning how to cope with everyday life.

The first thing piece of advice i can give, is to not give in. Teenagers will come up with ANY excuse to escape doing what they're assigned or suppose to do. If you know your kid should be working on homework and he's playing video games instead, take it away until he's finished. Set bounderies, and don't let him knock them down. No matter if he gives you a puppy dog face or big bug eyes, stay strong. In the end, he'll come to understand that he won't get everything he wants. It's a big lesson... especially for us teenagers who have been pampered for so long.

Second piece of advice is to make the exact rules you want followed. Again... referring back to number one, don't let him tell you how you manage your household. Your the chief, he's the indian. What you say goes.

Third piece of advice, be understanding. He's a teenager, once in a while... let him go. If we never did anything stupid, we'd never learn anything... and by all means, i'm sure you've been stupid before too. So remember, he's a kid striving to break free. Whether you cage him in his room or not, he'll find a way to escape. Go with the flow. You know that in 10 years he's going to be a completely different man, so understand... it's probably just hormones. He'll have an attitude, he'll cuss, scream, be rude, roll his eyes. But... yet again that's just a part of being stupid... and with enough punishment he'll come to understand and mature.

Advice four, be calm. He probably thinks he knows everything, but truthfully... he's really confused. Whenever he does something stupid or makes a move you don't appreciate, instead of yelling or critisizing him, sit him down and ask him why he makes the moves he does. Let him speak and tell you (if he even will) what he's feeling. Then you explain to him what he did wrong, what you want to be done and if there will be a consequence or not. If he pisses you off enough, leave. Go outside and take a breather, or simply go take a nice hot bath and continue the conversation tomorrow.

Goodluck, sorry my advice is long.

Answer 5

Generally it is a phase. I am a teacher, used to be high school, now middle school. So I have seen more kids than I can remember, and the boys typically give their mom's the most havoc at this age. Hormones are going crazy...The language is from school (lunch obvoiusly) and friends or music.

Gettting him involved in school activities can subside this a bit, because generallly they cant use the language...therefore the habit subsides.

Most of my conferences with parents at this age are more parenting/counseling meeting (although Im not a trained professional) on how to deal with their teenager.

Just to be sure though...you may want to check for drug use, because the anger can be excessive with this.

If no drugs...let it ride...and do the best you can to cope...find another mom to "cope" with...

Answer 6

Just give him all the love and attention u can. hug and kiss him all day if he'll let ya, make him laugh. Just keep telling him how much u love him constantly, no mater how mad he gets. Let him know u love him and u care about his feelings. Let him talk to u, maybe he is going thru something u don't know about, at school or with a friend, girl, ect. Don't make him think u hate him or anything, let him know he hurts u when he acts that way and tell him u love him, but u need him to respect u and treat u better, let him know there will be consequences for his actions, but u love him and want him to be good.

Answer 7

Every time he chooses to use profanity, correct him. Also, give him consequences for his actions, that boy is not to young to be spanked...just tell him..that's not acceptable and i will not tolerate it in my home. If he still cusses take something away. You need to get your point across and show your authority over him. He's testing you, it's a phase, but it must be handled well..or it could escalate to something worse.

Answer 8

Set up some definite rules and stick to them, with reasonable but firm punishments for using unacceptable language in the house (if that bothers you enough to do that) and talk to him about his concerns about living there, remembering that parenting comes first and making him happy is not always the result... but his safety and well-being are. Tell him he can make his own decisions in just a few years, but for now he will have to trust you as you have a responsibility to him and you love him.

Answer 9

i went throught the same thing at my age. you need to use strong displine and make sure that he is safe. you can try a swear jar, but also everytime he swears take something away from him, no tv for 1 week, hr can't go out with his friends for a month take away things that he enjoys. take away his cds, no computer. he'll hate you for awhile but he will turn out better in the long run.

Answer 10

heres what my mom did. she quit being my mom. she would fix every one else dinner and not me. she did everyone's laundry but mine ( and she didn't tell me, just let me wake up and not have cloths for school that day--i looked ridicules)and after about a week i asked her why she was acting like i wasn't alive she said " i only cook clean and love my family and you didn't want to be apart of the family so fend for your self.and until you start talking and treating me like your mom then you can do your own laundry, food and ride to school" plus its hard to fight with someone who won't talk to you. it will work . trust me , my attitude straightened right up.