my 15 yr. old daughter has a best friend i think they are gay?

Question

she has a boyfriend but i think he is just a cover up what do i do?

Answer 1

I see this a lot in girls my age. (I'm 16)
I don't think your daughter is necessarily gay. I'll probably get thumbed down for this, but it's become kinda "trendy" for girls to be Bi

I remember seeing a study a while back. It said that about 98% of people aren't truly gay or straight. They have at least some attraction to both sexes, but are a lot more attracted to one than the other

Answer 2

What do they do that makes you think they are gay? I can't tell you whether she's gay or not, but I would say to leave it alone. She's a teenager, so her feelings may be confusing at this time and she may be just experimenting. It's really a very normal thing. Give her some space to figure out what her sexuality is, don't just go up and randomly ask her; this may make her angry and fly off the handle. Talk to her, and don't come out and say it openly, but just get on the subject somehow of lesbian/gay/bi and see what her views are. In time, she'll let you know, and you should accept her for whoever she chooses to love.

Answer 3

First, you are correct. There is nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual. You've made it clear that you've told your daughter this. If she hasn't responded yet, then she either isn't gay or bi, or just doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about it. Just as there is nothing wrong with being gay/bi, there is no reason she must share her sexuality with you. Second, you need to stop worrying about being your daughter's friend and start being her parent. You mentioned that your daughter has other issues that require counselling. If this is so, then you need to force her to accept the help she needs, regardless of how she feels about it or you. Parenting isn't always pleasant, but it's necessary. Do your daughter a favor. Ease up about her sexuality and apply some more pressure to resolving her anger issues.

Answer 4

Most of these people are right! Leave it alone, she is being 15... if you do the wrong thing, which is to open the wrong door, you could do some harm.

The last thing you want is for her to be afraid of boys, then of having close friendships with her girlfriends (they need to tell each other everything), then of course with you.

Like you said, she is 15 and finding her footing,and trying to create an oppositional identity to you, in a very difficult world/time.

If you were to travel to other countries you would see how close same gender relationships are, it is sweet and most likely innocent really.

Answer 5

#1 DONT CONFRONT THE FRIEND.....your daughter will be so p***** off that you went to her friend. I'm talking from experience ( as the daughter whose mom thinks shes gay with her best friend)...i am by the way. I still haven't told my mom because that's one of the scariest things to do. We get worried about what our parents will think of us then. If our parents start asking questions then we assume they are because they're against it. If a parent truly didn't care then they wouldn't ask questions and would allow the child to confront them. If she is gay then she'll tell you when she feels the time is right. Be open as possible...and if she is and she does confront you don't ask questions just accept it and let her elaborate if she wants to.

Answer 6

Marriage is about love not Gender!!! All you should be worried about is weather she's happy or not. You cant help who you fall in love with. I have some gay friends and life is hard, they dred the moment they have to tell their parents about their love life. All they want is for their mom to understand and have someone who will love them no matter what gender they're in love with. Please understand, im not just trying to be against what you believe, I just know from first hand experiences what life can be like for a gay child to have parents that are against it.

Or, she might just be really close. Teens these days show affection more than teens used to twenty years ago. I know because I am one. We do seem to be really really close. Lifes hard, im sure everyone knows that, but when you have a best friend there for you, its easy for people to say your gay if your really close, its happened to me before and im not gay, me and my friends are just there for each other no matter what.

Hope that helps. Best of luck.

Answer 7

Just talk to her, let her know that you will love her regardless, maybe shes just curious, shes 15, her body is getting all these hormones, just dont fuss at her, dont tell her its wrong or she wont open up to you in fears that you will be upset, even if you are upset, dont take it out on her, you want to keep that relationship you have with her on good terms, you want her to be able to come to you and not keep secrets from you, where else is she gonna turn if her mom isnt there for her, being gay or curious isnt easy, people get so much criticism and ridicule, the stress alone could put her into depression... just talk to her, good luck

Answer 8

Bring up the subject in a calm and nonconfrontational way. If "gay is okay" with you, let her know. If it's not (for religious reasons or others) the worst thing you can do is try to change her or condemn her. That will lead you down an ugly and unfortunate path. Look up pflag.org...It's an organization that supports families and friends of gay and lesbian people.

Answer 9

well if she really is then I don't think there is much you can do. You can either be accepting towards her and love her like a mom or you can alienate her by your dissaproval and lose her.

It could be that they are just really really best friends. Its not unusual for girls to have close relationships like that. Doesn't mean they are gay.

And maybe your version of "being a girl" isn't the same as hers...some girls are a little more guyish in their mannerisms ...doesn't mean they are gay.

either way, all you can do is be a good parent and be there for her if she does end up really feeling that way.

Answer 10

nothing. keep the lines of communication open. most kids won't confide in their parents if they think they are going to freak out. i have a 21 year old gay son. i remember when he came out to me. he was afraid. but i have always supported him and at the end of the day, i still love him, he's still my son. we all want our children to grow up to get married and have kids and live a normal life. but we cannot determine a thing about how they'll turn out. the only thing we can do as parents is to do our best to instill our values into our children and love them and support them. my son had such a hard time in school, even from administrators. i had to threaten to sue his school and the whole board because one teacher, calling himself joking, started to harass my son and my son, who was a teen at the time, could have gotten hurt by the other guys. when an adult shows that type of behavior around adolescent boys who are already trying to find their way, it can be dangerous, even lethal. your daughter is still your daughter, no matter what. if you keep the lines of communication open, let her know that you love her and supoort her, she'll open up in her own time. you may not approve of or understand it, but please don't alienate her. she's still your daughter. i wish you all the best