wiccans: what do i do to redeem myself?

Question

i had something very bad happen to me (i wont go into specifics)...so i got home...and i in the middle of talking to the godess during a ritual...and...i freaked out...i stopped caring for a second and i was thinking...."why do i believe this???"...(because i was atheist for a long time too and sometimes religion seems stupid to me)...so iwas actually yelling at the goddess...it was rediculous actually i actually said "F%$# you" i was just so angry at myself and at her for letting that happen...so...what do i do???i feel like i've fallen out of reach with her...i feel terrible...it's like i've lost a piece of myself that i want to get back so bad but i don't know how
please tell me...do i have any hope for a relationship with her? how do i apologize???
blessed be

i gotta say thank you...i was being a bit dramatic want i?

Answer 1

I don't believe that deities have the same human problems as we do. The emotions you showed aren't a problem for deity. Do you believe that the Goddess doesn't know whats in your heart? If you believe she knows then don't you think she will understand that you were upset and frustrated? Make and offering of your favorite drink to her. It doesn't have to be a lot. So you are sorry.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with doubt. Critical thinking skills are key to survival. There is no piece of you that you can loose and never get back. You are always whole.
To be honest, I think you should look up old traditions of the way gods and even saints have been known to be treated by their worshipers. In some cultures it was common for people to yell at their gods if a certain boon was not granted. (From the first civilizations in the fertile crescent to early Catholics.) In the case of famine or a long drought the idol might be refused offerings, stripped and even buried until the situation changed for the better. That should make you feel better.
In the meantime, just be nice. Treat her like you would your mom or best friend if you'd go off on them. Everything will be fine.

Answer 3

And I screamed at Loki to get the **** out of my house the other day when chaos had incarnated itself into my children. I'm still a live and kicking.
You are looking at this like a Christian. Our gods aren't about redemption. So you got mad. Who cares? The gods EXPECT you to act like a human being. They are not hung up on whether you worship them or not. They don't really care much either way. They are thrilled to have you around, but you aren't going to hurt thier feelings or anything.
Apologize and call it a day.

Answer 4

There is no need to apologize to anyone except yourself. The Gods, if They exist, surely love us as Their children and see the truth of our hearts. Part of the theory behind Wicca, at least as I was taught, is that the Gods love all, and truly unconditionally. You cannot harm the Gods with your words; you can only harm yourself.

Take a good long look at your outburst. Examine it carefully, and untangle the reasons behind it. Perhaps Wicca has served its purpose for you and it is time to move on; there is no shame in admitting such a thing, and much to gain from being honest with yourself. If it was indeed an outburst that does not match the way you usually feel, then let it go and move on is my advice. The Goddess is there for anyone who truly seeks Her.

Blessed be, and don't beat yourself up. :-)

Answer 5

Well, personally, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. Everyone has their doubts in their own religion every once in a while. Of course, swearing and yelling was a bit enthusiastic, but just continue to worship or pray or whatever you do and ask for forgiveness until you feel you are worthy.
Just no ritualistic sacrifices, okii-dokii? ;p

Hope I helped?
~Kanna

Answer 6

Don't worry about it, young one. She probably laughed and shrugged it off. You've fallen out of touch with yourself.

Do a cleansing of your room, your altar, your tools and then take a cleansing bath. Meditate and connect with her again. If you'd like, offer cider and sweet bread as an offering to her (take them outside - the earth and animals claim it - taking it back to the Goddess.)

Answer 7

You do not need to apologize to the Goddess. She's the ideal mother. When I screwed up in high school and stuff, my dad might hold a grudge, but mom never did. Mom is mom. You're always welcome back to her bossom for comfort. She gave birth to you.

Answer 8

I honestly can't say that I would expect the goddess to smite you (well... you never know, she's is in her crone phase right now :-P), but I'm sure she understands.

If you still feel bad... make an offering.

Answer 9

hold-overs from previously beliefs constantly creep into our daily lives, the only thing we can do is re-evaluate WHY we stopped believing those things, and if you still hold your current belief as true, your goddess WILL forgive you, but depending on who it is, and the type of relationship you have with her, it might vary on how fast she decides to stop giving you the cold shoulder.


the best thing to do would be to re-evaluate yourself and your beliefs, and check your attitudes towards your gods and goddesses

Love and Respect,
PW

Answer 10

She isin't going to smite you or anything like that. You will find her when you forgive yourself. Take some time and meditate.