Does she deserve this letter? She cheated on us with a 21 year old pot head and she had EVERYTHING?

Question

I sent my mother this e-mail, whom my father and I caught with her lover, whom she said was just a friend, (14 years younger than HER), in the kitchen cooking dinner,


We, Niko Luis and Angel Maria Toledo feel that not even once in our lives, have we gone a year with everything being perfectly OK with our mother's mental attitude and disorders, if it's her arguing with her kids on the curb while they're 3 & 2 on Fourth of July, rejecting help from locals, and yelling at us or taking us out on a "joy-ride" during the night time, following innocent people in their car, threatning to hit them, etc. We never got invited over to friends' houses due to our mother. whom we shall now call Cruz (for us, she has loss the right to even be known as "mom", "mother", "momma", and "mommy.") for EVERYONE at our school thinks she is crazy and have dis-liked her since day once there. We've given her many chances as a friend and a mother. Yet, we ask her for something and she never delivers it to us,

thinking we'll forget about it or telling us we don't need it (ig. a winter coat for Angel) and instead gets something better for herself. She doesn't have any respect for us and sometimes can be the most immature one in the house; ig. Angel is angered with her mother for something and says, "you have a sucky attitude" due to her mother grounding her, her mother replies; "you have a suckier attitude" thinking it is OK for her to talk to her kids like that, when she should be the mature one and walk away. Sometimes, that is what Angel and Niko try to do, but she goes on and on about it in the hall-way, yelling, screaming, and mocking us in light voices so everyone can hear that we did something wrong. She lies to our faces, telling us she is going out to go see Melissa, whom she hasn't spoken to in weeks, and goes out PARTYING with Melissa's friends, and Melissa receieving calls from her friends, saying she is getting stoned with them. She has lost our trust, faith, prayers, respect,

love, and most of all...us. Our father, Luis, thinks it is best if we forgive after we've moved on, but we don't want to, and know if we have to go in custody with that woman, we will never be happy as long as we live our young lives, and will eventually run-away, she is always telling Angel, when Angel is moody, "There's the door, when I didn't get along with my mother, I left. I was 13 and I stripped for money." She is encouraging her life for us, for she can accept any younger person that is in her family that is better than her. She got very mad when Angel and Niko's older sister, Crissa, was going very well in track and began to get a lot of attention, and for the "spot-light" back on Cruz, she caused a scene at dinner, causing Abuela (Romana) to leave. We've been rejected as a family, as well, to family dinners, banquets, parties, etc. due to Cruz's odd and mental behavior. We are no longer, and ever were proud, to call her our mother. For it a dissapointment (and blessing in Ang

For it a dissapointment (and blessing in Angel's opinion) that Cruz slept with a 21 year old stoned konvict, and had an affair with him within the last few months. For she has made this family (Niko, Luis, and Angel) stronger. "You can dismantle us, but you cannot destroy us." As for Cruz and Ian, we hope you have a nice life together in MOTEL 6--remaining "friends." We have moved on...to a bigger and better place...where we will be accepted, no matter what.

LETTER HAS ENDED~~~~

my mother has sucsessfully broken up 4 families, abonded all her children, gotten into arguments with her step daughter, and me (Angel) and Niko (my lil brother) dont want her in our new lives. She came back after staying in a hotel with him over the weekend, thinking everything was ok. Do you think she deserved that letter?

P.S. she is mental and jacked up in head, she always thinks my father is having an affair with Crissa (my older sister, her step daughter) and always says people are poising her food when she is very healthy. Does she deserve that e-mail?

Answer 1

YIKES!
Actually I doubt very much she would even GET IT. She's obviously been screwy for a long, long time and she needs more help than you can give her.
The good thing for you is that you were able to WRITE the letter. Whether you give it to her or not, at least you have gotten it out of your system. If you think it will cause more heartache and anger in th family, then don't. Just keep it. Or destroy it. If it hurts, it does no good. I hope that you can get past it and leave her out of your lives until such time as she no longer causes you all pain and grief.
Good luck sweetie!
ymmf

Answer 2

If your mother has mental health problems, have you as a family urged and encouraged her to get help?

I understand how difficult it is to live with mental illness -- i have mental illness myself (bipolar I disorder).... so i have spent many years in therapy off and on... and have had to do a lot of work and expend much effort to change the way i think and react to situations...

You have the right to let your mom know how you feel.. i think the letter is very cruel, and if it were ME, i'd get my entire family together to confront her and tell her how we feel one person at the time. But you do what you have to.

You are hurting, and i realize you have to express your pain somehow... i wish life were different for you, hon.

sending good thoughts your way, and i hope things will improve.

Answer 3

Y'all like to pump up the drama, eh? Just forgive as best you can and move on. It's not worth the emotional strain. Know when to say enough is enough.

Answer 4

c-mon just say marry christmas and we love u
thats it thats all