How do you cope with your parents when they become elderly ?

Answer 1

That depends on your age and your obligations. My parents, middle-aged when my brother and I were born, were stubbornly independent. Dad was still shoveling snow, moving furniture, and tinkering with his own car until he turned 80. At 83 he was diagnosed with lung cancer. Only then did he become cranky and difficult. My brother and I and Mother did our best, making sure he ate well and that the grandkids all visited regularly. We cared for him mostly at home until the end, which was four months after the diagnosis.

Mum was different. She broke her hip at 88 and needed ongoing care. To say she was a difficult patient would be an understatement. Nurses were strangers, so I was supposed to care for her for many weeks while she was hospitalized some distance away. And when we were told she required ongoing care, she balked at being placed in a nursing home. It took years for her to adapt. Yes, I do mean years. Even with us all visiting her several times a week, Mum grumbled. She managed to stretch out her unhappiness until her death at age 101.

My experiences aren't helping you really. Sorry! What I'm trying to relate is that each family and each parent is different. Some adapt well to circumstances, and some don't. There are adult children who resort to sticking their parents in an institution and visiting once or twice a year, if that. Others will martyr themselves for their elderly parents to the extent of ruining their own health.

You have to find that proverbial 'happy medium'. These old folks are still Mum and Dad, who think they know better than you, their kids, do. It can be awful or a learning experience. If they need institutional care, you must steel yourself and see that they are placed properly. You must also turn a deaf ear to unwarranted complaints. It's not easy, but it can and must be done.

It sounds cruel, but we found Mother easier to deal with once dementia set in. It also helped us understand her stoic personality better, watching her, at 98, weep for her own mother.

Forgive me for rambling on. I wish you all the best in dealing with and looking after your parents. Bless you for caring.

Answer 2

You have to make decisions which are in their best interests, if you have been left responsible or named on their Living Wills.

You know your parents better than most others in the world, and you wil make the right decisions in their behalf.

Sometimes we have difficult roads to walk during our lives... and coping with older parents is one of the most difficult.

You can talk with their doctor or get advice from a geriatrics therapist, psychiatrist or nurse for help.

take care

Answer 3

You continue to give your parents the same love,respect,and admiration that you had given them all your life.The only difference is,you give them the guidance you would your best friend,the confidence you would a lover,and the caring you would pour into your child.Parents become the culmination of all great things in your life,and you will eventually do the same with your children.

Answer 4

The same way we coped with you when you were little. With Love!

Answer 5

keep in mind they could go anytime.its like having a child again