am i being a fool?

Question

i recently went through a problem with my thyroid that was making me really moody. during this time, i said some mean to my gf online. she said that when i said that stuff, she put up huge walls around her. she broke up with me 3 weeks ago. i am now taking medication and my mood is better. i apologized for the way i acted. she said "i just have to take care of myself." she said i have to regain her trust and then she'll consider dating me. i asked her how to do this. and she said "just by talking to me." so that is what i am doing. we will talk about school and our friends and stuff. however, i feel like i can't make her laugh the way i used to bc i am sorta depressed she seems distant and hard to engage. i feel like if i say something wrong, she'll use it as reason to not be attracted to me. could this get better in time, if i talk to her and can she trust me again? or should i just stop talking to her? i really do love her. should i wait a cple weeks then address her behavior?

Answer 1

Relax, frist-off. Second, yes talking to her, in time, well fix this problem. Now as far as addressing her behavior... don't, not like your thinking. Instead explain to the best of your ability those mean things you said to her, tell her it was the thriod ISN"T completely true (my dad had simular emotional problems because of his) so explain a little more why you said them, how you lost your head, how stupid you fell about it, and how much you wish it wasn't hurting her so much. But stay as far a way from the thriod as the main cause, it made you angry yes, emotional, yes, but act like a jerk, that was your choice. So talk about that a little more, maybe even go into more detail about how the reason you were so jerkish to her was because you didn't know how else to act with the conditioning that was going on, you really never wished to do those things, but you guys are working on building a bond were you can feel in time that YOU can reach for her, explain that this is hurting that, and that was a lot of the reason for your behavior, you didn't know HOW to use her to make yourself feel better about what you were going thru, an honest mistake. But this mistake SHOWS that she is still helping you make it, by not allowing you to turn to her even now, might turn her around to realize that she needs to tear down those walls are she has no use to you ether.... but explain it in your own style.... but this way it can be both your faults, your fault for not nowing how to use her, and her for not know how to HELP you use her, to help you thru this, its a bad condition and consideration should be make.