my cousin is a mess, shes 18 shacked up with a 36 yr old who helps her keep a steady supply of drugs and booze, she likes to get drunk all the time, but she cant handle it and breaks down into a sobbing mess and/or becomes really violent, she blames all her problems on her mum dying 10 yrs ago, and the whole family have 'babied' her since then, she acts like a child, sometimes when im with her, her behaviour reminds me of my 4 yr old sister who has learning difficulties, shes alienating all of our family, and she's aggravted them by telling me a family secret i was never supposed to find out, she can't hold down a job for more than a few months or weeks and thinks the world owes her a favour. she's gradually destroying herself she doesn't want to give up the drugs or alcohol, i can't go out anywhere with her, i was almost arrested the last time we went out because of her, i don't want to turn my back on her like the rest of our family have, but i don't know how to help her
2007-12-18 12:57:14 · 5 answers · asked by mimzy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Most of the time addicts dont stop until they realize they have lost everything and they hit bottom. If you continue to be there for her while she is using then you are helping her stay in her addiction. Tell her you will be there for her when she decides to quit all drugs and drinking but until then you can no longer sit by and watch her commit slow suicide. Then leave. Dont give her anything, not food, shelter or anything until she is willing to quit (she will tell you she is quitting when she may not be so be careful). Read up on addiction, that might help you.
2007-12-18 13:04:54 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old was she when she shacked up with the 36 year old ? If she was younger than before 18 and you can prove it, then the police will be interested in her boyfriend as a sex offender. Perhaps this will get her out of that mess and cause her to recover. Otherwise, you have a decision to make, can you deal with the obvious pain of observing her self-destruct, or should you leave for your own well being. You almost went to jail once. Be careful .
2007-12-18 21:04:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's everybody elses fault! make her realise she has to take responsability for her actions how would her mum feel if she knew she was using her death as an excuse I pity you you are taking on a huge job.I would write a letter to her explaining how you and the family are worried about her future,be positive don't put to negative a twist on it offer your support but explain there has to be a limit to that support.You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.good luck to you both
2007-12-18 21:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by golden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run don't walk. Tell her when she wants to change the family will respect her.
2007-12-18 21:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by answerlady 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YOU CAN'T HELP YOUR COUSIN SHE HAS TO HELP HER SELF
2007-12-18 21:04:17 · answer #5 · answered by cynthia e 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋