I just had my wedding 3 weeks ago and had about 5 couples that gave no wedding gifts. I plan on waiting months before I draw a conclusion but I was wondering prematurely, what if nothing ever comes. Do I confront them? I could care less about the gifts, I just can't get over the laziness and inconsiderate behavior. The wedding was well received by many and it cost $110 a plate. There was also a couple that did not come because they said their kid was sick. We still had to pay for their plates and we had already gone to their wedding last year. I am not extremely close to them. I have low expectations that they will send something, so what do I do?
2007-12-18 12:54:15 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My suggestion is you don't say a word. But don't send them a Thank You card either. Maybe when they get married you won't buy anything for them. That is pretty rude. By the sounds of it you had a really nice wedding and them showing up and not buying you something is shocking and plain out inconsiderate.
As for the people with the sick child, that happens. I wouldn't hold a grudge or any blame upon them. They probably did want to be there to share that day with you but things always come up when it comes to kids.
Congrats to you and your hubby!
2007-12-18 17:23:28 · answer #1 · answered by CSF 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whose idea was the $110./plate? your guests? or yours?
your guests didn't demand this big extravagant celebration, you did! and don't say you don't care about gifts, you friggin' do care or you wouldn't be here pissin' and moanin' about the fact that you spent so much money and didn't get a present.
i'm curious as to why you think these five guests are lazy and inconsiderate? because they didn't bring you a gift? you dont ever expect a gift, and to expect one to compensate for the cost of the dinner is foolish!
as for the couple whose child was ill. surely you don't think your wedding supercedes their child's health. kids get sick, thats a fact of life, and parents tend to worry more about their child than a wedding. if you don't understand that then you are a very immature person.
btw, if you are not that close to them why did you invite them anyway? weddings are supposed to be a celebration with family and friends - not anyone and everyone you can think of.
i'm sorry but i think you are a very greedy, rude, arrogant person. perhaps once you have matured you will realize how wrong your current attitude is, however, i don't really hold out much hope.
what should you do? shut your mouth and say nothing to those who for whatever reason didn't come with gifts in hand. there is nothing saying a guest must offer a gift. meanwhile lets hope that before you wasted your time bellyachin' here you've managed to get your thank you cards written and mailed to those who did bring gifts!
your attitude really is terrible, i am very glad i don't know anyone like you!
2007-12-18 17:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You said "I could care less about the gifts, what if nothing ever come, should you confront them"? Well it sure does sound like you did care that they didn't bring gifts no matter what you say or why would you want to know if you should confronting them, what else is there to confront them about if not the fact that they didn't bring you a gift? Is this what made them lazy and inconsiderate? and for the couple who's child got sick what did you want them to do? Leave the child with someone and come to your wedding? and still you say "you have low expectations that they will send something". It's all about the gifts for you. I know this may be hard for you but LET IT GO!
2007-12-18 13:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by Flowers 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, as rude as you may think it was to show up without a gift, etiquette states that when you send out an invite to a wedding there should be no expectation of a gift, that is why you are not supposed to put registry info in the formal invitation. An invite to a wedding is supposed to be about sharing your day, and your vows, with family and friends. Now, is it the norm to show up at a wedding with a gift - yes, but technically, you have a year to send a wedding present if you so choose to send one, so I definately would not say a word. Some people are just rude! Forget about and enjoy being a newlywed!
2007-12-18 15:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by fortillfriday 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I hope that the way you realized you were 6 gifts "short" was by writing out your thank-you notes in an expected timely manner. Certainly you didn't invite gifts to your wedding, did you? Because then you're saying that you found you are $660 (660 dollars) behind due to those gifts who didn't show. Also, why did you invite the couple with the ill child? You say you aren't close to them. It sounds as though you were only wanting their presents instead of their presence. I apologize for sounding harsh, but....
2007-12-18 17:37:17 · answer #5 · answered by Kalice 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How rude are you to even think about it!!!! You didn't get married to get presents, and guests are certainly not obliged to get you anything at all!!! You chose to spend $110 a plate, they didn't ask you to, and children do get sick, sorry but your wedding would be way down on my list of priorities if my child was sick (yes it was a big day for you, but not for the guests). So in answer to your question you do nothing, certainly do not say anything as people will just think really badly of you, I cannot believe you honestly think that you should say something!!
2007-12-18 22:13:58 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
According to Emily Post a gift should be sent prior to or up to 3 months after the wedding.
Yes it is expected for guests to bring or send a gift, but they are guests and are not obligated to do so. Also guests that decline or cancel do not need to send a gift. I think it's a bit selfish of you to be upset for someone staying home with a sick child. Life happens and it was you who decided to spend $110 per plate. Your guests are not obligated to spend the same on a gift and it may be rude of a guest not to bring you a gift or card, but it is extremely selfish of you to want to confront them because they didn't give you one.
This floors me because I truly couldn't tell you who did or didn't give me a gift at my wedding. those who gave a gift received a thank you card and that was the end of it. Getting gifts is not the point of getting married. I agree with another poster who said get over it!
http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/tips/wedding_gifts.htm
2007-12-18 13:21:09 · answer #7 · answered by Reba 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Gifts are not mandatory for a wedding. If you'd like, though, you can send them a nice note thanking them for coming to the wedding. They might send you a gift, but don't expect anything.
2007-12-18 14:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. To say something would make you look petty and self-centered. Do they need manners? Yes. But don't make it worse by confronting them.
And for the record... people have up to a year to send a gift. It's only been 3 weeks. Some of them may come around.
Either way, you're not the gift police.
Enjoy your marriage!
2007-12-18 14:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by ღ†Rocker Wife†ღ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Did you stop and consider maybe there having financial trouble?Also your more worried about how much you spent on food for guest who had a sick child than you are there child and you claim to be there friend?How childish is that.It dont matter if you went to there wedding or not.Also its not ones on guest list who told you to spend so much per plate of food,in my opinion that was plain old stupid.Get over it,think of others and grow up otherwise your marriage wontlast,immaturity breaks up marriages.If i had to choose between paying for food for my family or getting a wedding gift i would choose my family.I feel for your husband as selfish as you appear to be.
2007-12-18 13:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by mamanana9 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋