Are My Grandparents At Fault Here Or Am I?

Question

Do you think it's fair that my grandparents bought my seven year old cousin a wii game for christmas but when they asked me what i wanted and i said "a cross necklace from james avery." they told me they "didnt have that kind of money." Now my mom is all mad at me for asking for such an "expensive" gift. She says i have too many cross necklaces (i have two but they they are from middle school and look childish. i am a jr in high shcool now!) Do you think i'm being unreasonable?

My grandparents aren't poor and they used to buy me nice things like that but last year for christmas all i got was a five dollar gift card to American Eagle. I bought a pair of socks!

Am i being unreasonable this season?
Or are they being too stingy?

CORRECTION: IT WASN'T A Wii BUT IT WAS A Wii GAME.

I'm not "demmanding" anything from them I just feel kind of jipped because my cousin gets everything he wants and he is so spoiled. I am happy with what my grandparents give me but when they spend lavish ammounts of money on him and five bucks on me...it kinda hurts

it's not like i told them i want this.

my grandmother asked me what i wanted and i said "giftcards are fine" because i know she finds it hard to shop for me but she insisted on giving me a gift. When she asked if there was a gift i wanted, i told her.

Answer 1

The older generation appreciates humility. Say, "You know, I was thinking and I really have everything a girl could ever want, I'm very fortunate. I think you guys should just give me whatever you would like to give me, I trust your judgment." Try it and see. You may be surprised. ;)

(They may be trying to teach you an old fashioned lesson and this is what they are looking for you to learn)

Answer 2

First remember that your grandparents are not obligated to give you anything. You stated that you were in high school now and needed a more mature looking necklace. That indicates to me that you are also old enough to know that keeping gifts "equal" among the grandchildren is no longer necessary. Gifts are often given out according to the relationship between giver and receiver. Perhaps without your realizing it you have let that relationship slip over the years. It often happens during the teenage years. Since you are about eight years older than your cousin you also have received many years of gifts before the cousin came along. It is not so wrong to ask for an expensive gift but when the gift is stated to be more than the person planned on spending then the correct response would be to say "That's OK I'll think of something else." If the value of the gift is more important to you than the fact that you got a gift you need put that into perspective.

Answer 3

Most of the people who responded to your statement I totally agree. The reason is because if they going to buy an expensive gift for cousin, then it's only fair and righteous to buy you at least the equally amount for you. I know that in many cases is the thought that counts, but normally it is use when the person don't have the funds to give more.

Sadly, your grandparents are being stingy. What you can do is use psychology on them by stating that you don't want anything for Christmas this year. If they ask why, just tell them that your mother got upset upon your request. Maybe they think twice about your gift,but remember to buy a gift for them. God bless.

Answer 4

I know you may think that Your cousin is more special to your grandparents then you are ...But lets look at the big picture.Your grandparents probally used to buy you expensive gifts when you were younger now you are in Jr High .Maybe they like spoiling the younger ones But i'am thinking from experience my mother has 32 grandchildren imagine if she bought them all a wii she would have to spend a mint.My My mom saw it this way ,my sister has 4 kids but she got layed off work and was unable to buy gifts so my mom bought my neices and nephews a lil more then she bought for my kids I knew it was because my sisters lack of funds on the other hand i could afford gifts for my kids so i told my mom don't worry about my kids they will have enough for christmas. So what i'am saying here is they as grandparents are looking on the broader end of it then you are ,Sometimes they are living on set incomes and can't splurge and hoped maybe you could understand.
It is easy to see that your feelings could be hurt thinking wow they love him more. But that is far from the truth ,
Don't get so deep into it just thank god that you still have them ...there will be other christmas's and maybe you will get the cross for your birthday being that there will only be one gift to buy. Christmas can strain a budget.... I'am sure your grandparents Didn't mean anything by it plus maybe they are just saying that they can't afford it cause they want to surprise you on christmas morning.
Best wishes

Answer 5

Okay there are some resonably priced items from James Avery and actually under the price of the Wii, but you are being a little unreasonable right now by having a fit.

Your grandparents may not be poor, but they may be on a fixed budget. Honestly I find it best never to ask for anything especially at Christmas time. Christmas is supposed to be about giving not recieving. Don't get caught up in the whole I want this, and I want that vibe. Step back and take a look at everything you already have. You already have cross necklaces. They don't want to get you another one....or maybe they did and they just told you they couldn't to throw you off. You just don't know and you aren't supposed to know.

As you get older, you are harder to buy for. Either the gifts do get more expensive or you already have a ton of clothes or tons of jewelry. As you get older and get out on your own you will find it difficult to buy for your own parents. I mean really what do you buy for people who already have everything???

My best advice to you is to start thinking about everything you have not everything you don't have. Maybe think about those kids who aren't going to be getting anything at all. Children who will be waking up in homeless shelters who are just hoping they get a coat and a meal for Christmas.

Be thankful you still have your grandparents in your life. Mine are all gone now. I'd give all the Christmas gifts I ever got just to have them here with me.

Answer 6

here's my opinion - if a person asks you what you want for christmas, they cannot be mad at you for your answer. if they don't want to know what you want then they should not ask you. i do think it's wrong if they bought your cousin an exensive gift, but said your request was too expensive. i'm a mom of 2 and i think fairness is very important. sometimes older people will give the excuse, "well life isn't always fair you know." and i know, "LIFE" isn't always fair. but family is supposed to be. family is supposed to be the most perfect, safe, loving, fair place there is. i love my 2 daughters equally and i make sure they have equal number of presents to open on christmas morning. why don't you pick which grandparent you feel more comfortable with and sit down and calmly say, "i felt embarassed when you asked what i wanted and you replied that it was too expensive a gift. i didn't mean to be disrespectful, and i never would have asked for it if i had known it was out of your price range. that nacklace is the thing i want most for christmas this year and do you think you could maybe give me a gift certificate in the amount that you're willing to spend and i will save up the difference to buy the necklace for myself?" be sincere and respectful. maybe gramma will be proud of you and buy you the darn thing, or maybe you'll take your suggestion and get you a gift certificate towards it. i hope this works out for you!!

Answer 7

Just take a deep breath and calm down. You can't control what they buy you for Christmas.
It's more that your grandparents are at fault, but don't go shoving this in their faces. If they want to get your cousin a Wii, and you a five dollar gift card, then that's their problem, NOT yours. They obviously have some problems balancing out how much they spend on you and their other grandchildren.
You should try talking to them. Don't say, "Oh, I want you to buy me more expensive gifts." As much as it would feel good for YOU to get out, it wouldn't make your grandparents feel good. Just ask them if they could balance out their love between you and their other grandchildren. If that doesn't help, there's not much you can do.
I don't think your mom should be all mad at you for what you asked for. Your grandparents asked you what you wanted, and you told them. Just tell your mom that you didn't mean to ask for something so expensive, and you just told them what you wanted.
Anyway, how much money your grandparents spend on YOU is their choice. There's no way of bribing them to spend more money on you without sounding rude-even if you don't mean for it to be that way. So, in the meantime, pick out an extra-special gift for your grandparents to make them feel bad-just kidding! Do pick them out a nice gift, though, no matter how nice their gift to you is. ;)
But judging by the amount of money they spent on you when you are young versus now, something that you may have said or done to them has made them change their mind about you. You're the only one on this forum that knows what or if something happened, so in the meantime you should try to fix it. Explain to your grandparents that whatever happened before is in the past now and you are sorry-even if you don't feel you deserve to say it. I find that things can always get mended by an apology-unless the person doesn't have a big enough heart to forgive.
Good luck with your grandparents, though! ;)

Answer 8

Unfortunately there may be something looming in their private lives that you just aren't aware of. Medical bills or some other financial situation could have cause them to be in a financial crunch. Not all things are shared with children.

An alternative might be to ask for a gift card from the store you wanted to purchase the cross necklace...and make that an item for everyone that has you on their list. You might just get several gift cards that you can combine to make the purchase.

Remember asking doesn't mean we get what we ask for. Your grandparents were honest in sharing with you that they didn't have that kind of money. Try to be a little more understanding. Gift card plus saving your allowance and babysitting money will get you closer to your dream necklace.

Have a blessed holiday.

Answer 9

You should be thankful to receive anything. Although it does suck to have one cousin get a Wii and then you only get a $5 gift card. I'd say it's not your fault, plus they did ask what you wanted. Hopefully you asked for a more reasonable priced cross and not that $500 one (which is pretty, but unreasonable).

Answer 10

Well, it might be a little unreasonable to expect your grandparents to buy you whatever you want for Christmas. A Wii game probably costs a little less than a necklace. It really shouldn't matter what you get for Christmas (a few years ago my grandmother bought me a cook book, and my younger sister 2 outfits...)Also, when you get older, gifts tend to get crappier (it's more fun to buy for young kids)...and apparently they're a little more grateful...

Answer 11

There are TOO many variables not mentioned to give you an honest answer. I sense something happened before last Christmas that changed your Grandparents opinion. For them to Suddenly stop giving "nice things" to a $5.00 gift certificate tells me something upset them. Only you know the problems and what changed in your relationship. Trust me, as a parent, Grandparent, I can tell you something hurt their feelings.