My parents are older and will be needing help in the very near future. My husband and I have offered them to move in with us. We live in a nice, warm area, and we both have decent jobs. My parents refused. They both feel they will be a burden, even though we stressed to them they will not and we will enjoy having them with us. My father seems to be somewhat open to the idea but my mother just keeps saying NO. She is attached to her house. My mother wants me to move back to their area. The area my parents live in is so bad that there are shooting and stabbing on their block. The weather is cold and they are currently snowed in. We could move back, but a decent area to live would be about 1hr drive away from their house and the jobs in my and my husband's profession do not pay as well so we would both have to take a serious pay cuts. What do I do? I want them to move, that would be the easiest and best thing. How do I convince them of this?
2007-12-18 12:32:51 · 4 answers · asked by Su 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Let them live independently as long as they can ; It is the hardest thing to give up your independence and depend on others for everything (and they will eventually ) .Just make sure they have their phone on , bills paid and lock the doors as soon as they go into their house . Do what you can to help out now until they really need you . And try to remember when you shop for them ,buy the same brands they would buy , and get what they ask for and don't take anything away from them that they enjoy because you think it is unhealthy for them . Just think if it were you and how you'd want to be treated . Have you ever been attached to a house ? Your neighborhood ? your friends ? They like where they live and it only seems to bother you , Their trying to tell you they just want peace ,and familiarity is peaceful . Just like you have problems with moving back in with them , they have problems moving in with you .
2007-12-18 12:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by Wonderings 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's sometimes hard for older adults (parents) to leave familiar surroundings after many years of living there.
I would suggest you have them come for a visit, and then show them the area, and places of interests that they may like, also if there is an active senior program in your area you might bring them by and let them see what goes on there,
(activities, day trips, continuing education, etc).
Also, offer to help in the move or sale of the home and whatever furnishings that they will leave behind. Just remember as people age their sense of adventure sometimes dwindles.
2007-12-18 20:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by gearhead 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the conundrum of aging parents or parent. You have to set out a plan for your parents who have always been the ones to make the decisions and tell them your house is open to them when they are ready. Offer to come to their home and help with the huge packing and sorting of a lifetime and do it when they eventually tire of the cold, problems, and loneliness. But don't push. You can't uproot and shouldn't but they can should unless they would prefer you and your very kind husband to worry.
2007-12-18 20:54:12 · answer #3 · answered by Lizbiz 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you don't try to convince them at all. they're grown people and are capable of making their own decisions. it sounds as though they're getting along okay right now so just let it be.
2007-12-18 22:14:33 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋