well this is actually a really complicated story and long story, but i will cut it short. my brother married his wife, she turned out to be a *****, he kept saying he was going to leave her and then he never did. we didn't talk for 2 months, then one day i decided to try and talk to him again, so we went to lunch. after that his wife disconnected his phone so we had no way to get hold of him, but he could have called us. but we never got a call. so its been a good 3 months since the last time we talked, so i saw him at the movie theater on sunday, i ran up and hugged him and my eyes started tearing up, and it didn't even face him. he acted like he didn't care at all. all i want is my brother back. but by the way he acts its like he doesn't want to come back. (when i say we it means my mom, dad and i) so do you think he cares about me still, or would he rather live with his piece of **** wife and her bitchy kids and not be able to contact us.
2007-12-18 12:06:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You know it's funny how you said this situation. My sister is drifting from my family too, because this guy that came into her life is really controlling her every move. I've always believed she had a choice either to leave and come back home or be with this guy, but it does not seem she will ever come back to our family. I know how you must feel. It's not easy to see a sibling in a controlling relationship. While we watch in saddness we must learn to let live this situation and just move on. There must be some sort of reason why your brother wants to stay within this relationship that he has and maybe he does not want to share it with anybody, but whatever the reason maybe you just have to let go of this. Trust me, when I say this, I call my sister on her cell phone and her boyfriend has it trying to make sure nobody even my parents never speak with her. My whole family realizerd that this is something out of there hands. I asked her one last time "Why can't you simply leave him?" She tells me that she doesn't want to and that she does not know what to do. I moving on, even if I love my sister I have to...even if I miss her I have to. I believe if there is nothing one can do then you must drop it all together and forget it. Your brother is a grown man he must know why he staying with this woman. Deep inside I know he has the power to leave, he just needs to take that step with confidence and trust within himself.
2007-12-18 15:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by lainexperiment2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that someone has put him in a position in which he feels he has to choose between his wife and family and his immediate family, something which you should never do. You can't win. You may be his biological family, but he has CHOSEN to be with his family. So you have to come to terms and accept them, or risk losing him forever. Respect him as a man with a family and responsibilities and try to treat his family with decency. If you have to, talk to his wife and tell her that you want a truce on his behalf, because you love him and you know she loves him so you both can't be all bad. Good Luck
2007-12-18 12:33:31 · answer #2 · answered by danniemarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason he is still enthralled with the wife and her controlling ways. Maybe he still has feelings for her and thinks he will change her. Maybe he is wild about her so he goes along with her bad behavior. Mayeb she has something on him either morally or factually.
This is his marriage, though, so your input and that of your parents is not the main factor. You cannot just have your brother jettison a wife you dislike, no matter how badly she treats you. If you were riding him about her and being disrespectful to her, she would have a reason to insist that you not be in contact with him - especially if you have been trying to torpedo his marriage.
It sounds like he has chosen her, so unless you are going to accept her and try to get along with her (stop treating her like a girlfriend and recognize she is his WIFE) you will not be seeing him. Also realize that someday he was going to forge a close relationship with some woman he loves and you do not and leave you on the outside of that - you don't own the man. You don't control him - so maybe it's time you found someone of your own to focus on and let him chose his own life without your criticism.
2007-12-18 12:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by Amy R 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
the choices he made are drawing him away
he wants to come back and of course he cares
but maybe the situation he got him self into is not allowing him
to talk to you like he wants and see your family like he wants
but know one thing, if he was such a good brother that you want him back this badly . then he loves you with dear life.
dont fret he will come back one day he will see that youre something he cant miss out on his life ..
2007-12-18 12:27:41 · answer #4 · answered by Jackie Kutty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure your brother still loves you but he's probably stressed out trying to succeed in keeping a difficult wife happy.
2007-12-18 12:19:15 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His wife rules and he feels he can't cross her. That doesn't mean he has lost feelings for you.
2007-12-18 12:29:15 · answer #6 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋