trouble with partner and mother?

Question

I have been with my partner for 6 years and are both very happy and my mother used to think she was wonderful but for the last 4 years has turned against her for no reason.
my mother is getting on in years and has always fallen out with family but my problem is with my father as he has to live with her bitterness.
I love my father dearly but have not visited in months as my partner is not welcomed by my mother.
my partner is a good and loving person that does not deserve this treatment and if I dont visit my mother turns on me and as this is not the first time she has done this to her will never return to visit and I more than agree but I cant contact my father as it causes my mother to give him hell
what can I do as I miss my father so much and am afraid will never see him again as he to is getting old
I feel I cant win as at family gatherings my partner never comes and my mother gets it her way(she won)I back my partner and dont go anymore although she says I should what do I do

basicaly I wont see my mother again as she does not care about my happieness and only cares about what ever she has got into her head.
My family dont blame me and understand how I feel I dont suppose it can be fixed and dont want to try as Ive been there done that I just miss and feel sorry for my father any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

Answer 1

I am much older than u .. I am sure.. and my dad is deceased now..
I miss him everyday..
I went threw the same situation all my life....
it was a sad one..

dad was terrific..
U have to go see Ur dad and leave her at home.
. ask Ur dad to go shopping for something for the car or anything.. just go have some alone time..


Yeal, Ur mom is unhappy and u can not change that .. just be civil while u are there..
if she wants to no anything just ans with the truth.. perhaps she will get the message
but chances are.. she is just a miserable ole woman..
but
don't' take time away from Ur dad becuz of her..

U many never no why she is the way she is.. u just have to except it.. and work around it..
goood luck.. happy holidays

Answer 2

take your dad to dinner by himself
either way somebody has to live with her hell
but he chose her you didnt