i'm 16 and my boyfriends 18. after he graduates, he's joining the army :[.... he's always telling me how he lusts for me and i can tell he wants me.
like i want to have sex with him because i love him, but i'm afraid that i'll be bad or not know what to do since i'm a virgin...
what should i do!?
2007-12-18 10:27:46 · 16 answers · asked by mea065 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, you won't be "bad" for having sex. Millions of people do it every day, always have, always will. If you're equating having sex with sinning, or being a slut, then you're a victim of some repressive upbringing. Sex is natural, wonderful, and one of God's gifts to mankind.
If you want to, go ahead.
But know that at your age, what you feel as love, for most people, turns into only a memory of "puppy love" as they mature. You may love him today, and as you grow up you'll learn that love is much more than you think it is right now.
Your first time deserves to be special, and if you have any reservations at all, I wouldn't advise it. You've got to be accountable to yourself for your actions, and if you do it knowing that you're not going to feel right about it, you're cheating yourself.
When the time comes, you will have no doubts, no reservations.
As far as the going into the army thing is concerned, that is a non-issue.
Your decision should be based as if he weren't going anywhere. His moving away for a couple of years doesn't have anything to do with it, and don't let him pressure you because he won't be around and he wants something to remember you by, or something like that. Nonsense.
Your decision, eyes wide open, it's what YOU want, not what HE wants. Its a mutual decision, not one that he has the right to coerce you into.
And don't worry about being inexperienced. All women were virgins once, and gosh, they've managed just fine, haven't they?
Good luck!
2007-12-18 11:13:07 · answer #1 · answered by jasper addleton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have sex with anyone when I didn't know what the future of our relationship would be. He's going to the army, things might not last and either it'll be something you regret or happy that you shared that moment with him. You have to decide if you're even ready to do something like that and do you feel like he deserves you that way. Will it be a moment you can look back on and smile about because it was a nice expierence? If not then I wouldn't go through with it.
2007-12-18 18:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by Vanity Affaire 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With him, no. Obviously your in doubt and that's means that you're not ready. Besides, what if he impregnates you and than dies while in service? Don't you watch the news? Know that we're at war? You'll have ruined your life if you got pregnant at such a young age (unless of course that's what you want). As for the experience tid-bit, don't worry to much about that. No one is a pro their first time, and I seriously doubt that you'll be "bad" your first time. But if you truly desire technique advice, go watch some educational sex videos, aka porn.
2007-12-18 21:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by Ralph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait a while until you are ready to enter the world of sex, because if you were ready then you wouldn't be asking people on whether or not you should have sex.... Having sex shouldn't be something you ponder about, but something you just have the feelings it is going to happen, just let it happen naturally. Wait for the perfect time...
2007-12-18 18:33:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as "bad sex"and for boy's it all the same.No boy is going to worry about "does it feel good or right for her".There is no right or wrong way to do it,only a right or wrong time to.Or a right and wrong reason.The only thing you should worry about is how to do it safely.Theres always a price you have to pay.You'll do it,I know you will.You'll regret it,I know that to.Remember,a boys best friend is the palm of his hand.
2007-12-18 18:58:15 · answer #5 · answered by www.jamesbury 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the idea of having sex makes
you feel uneasy.. then you
are without a doubt, not ready.
There is nothing wrong with this,
you are just not prepared to
make love to him.
I can understand that you feel
pressured to do so because
he is joining the army.. but you
must resist this pressure and
respect yourself. If he does not
understand this when you tell him,
then he is not worthy of your love.
2007-12-18 18:32:39 · answer #6 · answered by Cassie D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are ready for any and all consequences such as STD'S, pregnancy, and him having sex with you then leaving and never seeing him again then maybe but only if he loves you. Yes he lusts after you but lust is way different than love.
2007-12-18 18:32:22 · answer #7 · answered by ziggy_brat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
as long as you do for the right reasons and you love you will be will be okay.
just remember that he could get in trouble since you are a minor
2007-12-18 18:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by jgsanchez95838 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will know when the time is right, but dont have sex cause he's goin to the army.
2007-12-18 18:35:57 · answer #9 · answered by garfld_2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he don't love yyou basicallyy yyou answered yyour ownn question he just want to get in yyou pants yyou stated in yyour question that he ''lust'' for yyou yyou reallyy should give to someone yyou care about and who cares about yyou to
2007-12-18 18:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by goodies make the boys jump on it 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋