It seems an awkward question but my uncle who lives in Russia married a Christian woman 13 years ago and she refused to convert to Islam. They have one daughter and one son. He couldn't force his wife to convert and he didn't want to diveorce her because of his children. My uncle leaves hom early in the morning and goes back at night and he doesn't have a chance to see his children and teach them about Islam. The children stay with their mother and they think they are christians. They don't know anything about Islam.
Would it be more logical to have Islam passed by mother because the mother is the one who spends most of her time with her children and teaches them?
2007-12-18 09:28:52 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Ramadan
I know they are not going to change, but what decided that Islam should pass threw father not mother?
I feel so sad whenever I remember my uncle and his lost children
2007-12-18 09:32:42 · update #1
i think the mom has the biggest part in the way the kids would be raised, if he really wants to teach them Islam he should have not worked that much, money is not everything, he could take them to Muslim countries to visit relatives and learn Islam,but he should have started when they were small.
my dads cousin same thing married a christian and died , he had 2 sons and a daughter, one of them when i ask him what are you Muslim or christian he says both, well what are you gonna do, ask Allah in your prayers to let them see the truth, ameen.
2007-12-18 09:52:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
Don't mean to be rude but this is something that your Uncle took on. By marrying a Christian woman and knowing that she was not going to become a Muslim did he really think that she was going to teach the children about Islam? By marrying out he himself takes on the responsibility of teaching them their deen. It is never too late, he should try his best even now maybe to take them to mosque, or perhaps having more families as friends who are Muslim. Nothing can be forced but maybe by opening the doors slowly the children will realize that they have options and choices to make in their lives.
I agree with your question that mothers are the more influential in a child's life when they are young and can teach them about their religion but the confusion starts when you have mixed faiths - if the mother is Christian or Jew and not ready to become a Muslim then she is going to teach her own faith because that is what she knows. This is the reason the father steps in and takes over the responsibility of teaching the children.
2007-12-19 00:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by bella 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As-Salamu-Alikum, May Allah help you in your way, whoever you are. Well, since, you ask. Allah says in Qur'an that if a person accept Islam whole Hartley then the past sins will be forgiven. My advice to you is that, say Salah in time and try to say Salah in Mosque if possible this will remove your bad habit and try to read Qur'an and Hadith bukhari with translation, so, that you can maintain them. If tattoos can be removed then gather money and try to remove then when you can, so, that you don't have to be worry about it. Satan always play with all kind of people specially with those who follow Allah's order because, satan has promised to do that. So, don't get afraid. Always remember, Allah is with you and you should not fear no one except Allah. I hope you will find your way and may be you will be able to do more good to people. Try to help people as well while you can by anyway you can. This will do some good too for your soul. What has been done that has gone, so, look into the future, so, that it may protect. If I said anything mistakenly please forgive me and may my Creator also forgive me as well.
2016-05-24 22:47:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one says it doesn't 'pass' by the mother. I don't really agree with that phrasing as I don't think it actually 'passes' through either like in Judaism where the mother must be Jewish for the children to be.
I'm not trying to be mean but if your uncles kids don't know anything about Islam that is his own fault. He HAS to take the time to teach them no matter how much he works. If he has to work less that is best.
2007-12-18 10:37:52 · answer #4 · answered by ~~∞§arah T∞©~~ 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Asalam Alaikum
This sadly happens alot. But the reason the children go to the fathers religion is because the wife has to obey him even in teaching the children. He is also head of house hold and can is responsible for them learning Islam whether he teach them, his wife teach them or he has someone teach them.
I am very sorry for your uncles children. InshaAllah they will still find Islam. This is a perfect example of why it is not recommended for men to marry non Muslim women. Yes it is allowed but that does not mean it is always best.
A realistic look at marriage to women of the People of the Book
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged us to look for Muslim wives who are religiously committed. If a woman is Muslim but is not religiously committed and of good character, then the Muslim is not encouraged to marry her, because marriage is not simply the matter of physical enjoyment only, rather it is the matter of Allaah’s rights and the spouse’s rights, and preserving his household, his honour and his wealth, and bringing up his children. How can a man who marries a kitaabi woman be certain that his sons and daughters will be raised according to Islam when he is leaving them in the hands of this mother who does not believe in Allaah and associates others with Him?
Hence even though we say that it is permissible to marry a kitaabi woman, it is not encouraged and we do not advise it, because of the negative consequences that result from that. The wise Muslim should choose the best woman to bear his children and think in the long term about his children and their religious upbringing. He should not let his desire or worldly interests or transient outward beauty blind him to reality; true beauty is the beauty of religious commitment and good morals.
To read the whole fatwa
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=45645&ln=eng&txt=realistic
2007-12-18 10:01:50 · answer #5 · answered by Umm Ali 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I have to agree with you. Mothers have more of an influence in the religion of the children because they spend more time with the children. I think Muslim men should keep this in mind if they decide to marry a Christian or Jewish woman. Even if Islam technically says that the children follow the religion of the father - you can't force religion on anyone, even children!
2007-12-18 09:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by Somebody else 6 · 7⤊ 2⤋
This is why Muslim men should only marry Muslim women so there are no problems in issues relating to marriage and children. The Bible says you shall not be unequally yoked. Meaning if your a Christian your going against the Bible if you marry a non Muslim. It also makes it easier on the family and children if the father marries a woman who is the same faith as he is. Then the children won't grow up confused. It's only natural that the children take the religion of the father as the father is the provider of the family and the head of the household.
2007-12-18 11:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
This is the law set by Allah and told to us by his beloved Messenger. The messenger of Allah has told us why and thats the right thing to do. Your situation the fault lies on their father! What is more important? to raise your children knowing the truth about Allah and his Messengers or to work day and night for worldy goods? Work is no excuse for not teachign your children about Islam. He cud have changed jobs, im sure he has days off? Maybe his wife could have helped out and educated the children. He will be questioned about this in the next life what what answer will he have?
You cannot judge other people on this one situation.
maybe he should have been a man and taken responisibility
2007-12-18 12:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by Peace Missile 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I suggest your uncle to look for another job which can allow him to spend more time with his wife and children, so he can teach them his religion as well.
If I were on your uncle's shoes, I will make a commitment with my wife, that both of us will explain our respective religions to our children. After that, just allow the children to choose which religion is the best for them when they are old enough to make such decision. If they choose their mother's religion, at least I have tried my best, and let God does the rest.
Please don't force your religion to other people. God never forces people whether to believe or not. Why should we? Salaam.
2007-12-19 06:03:44 · answer #9 · answered by Duke of Tudor 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The children are born upon the religion of their father not the religion of the mother.
You are confusing two issues here, if a Muslim man married outside Islam then he has to agree that his wife teaches the children Islam and she should understand this.
This is where the problem lies, if she can't do it then sent them to someone who will teach them Islam or pay for a teacher to visit them.
2007-12-18 10:07:21 · answer #10 · answered by Knowing Gnostic 5 · 3⤊ 3⤋